Quote of the Day

he's too nervous to kill himself, he wears his seatbelt in a drive-in movie.
neil simon

 

to reduce stress avoid excitement, spend more time with your spouse.
robert orben

 

for often times also thine own heart knoweth that thou thyself likewise hast cursed others.
ecclesiastes 7:22

 

"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person." - Andrew A. Rooney

 

"I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early." - Charles Lamb.

 

"If at first you don't succeed, pull your foreskin over your head (pronounced heed)" - Old Scottish parable

 

"It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant." - Richard J. Ferris, president of United Airlines

 

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more. - Woody Allen

 

The execs don't care what color you are. They care about how much money you make. Hollywood is not really black or white. It's green.
- Will Smith

 

"Whoever said 'nothings impossible' never tried to nail jell-o to a tree" - Lisa Bryant

 

Of the delights of this world, man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven. - Mark Twain

 

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with. - W. C. Fields

 

The direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem, it is generally employed only by small children and large nations.
- David Friedman

 

"If you are going through hell, keep going." - Sir Winston Churchill

 

Alright, listen up! I don't like white people. I hate rednecks. You people are rednecks. That means I'm enjoying' this shit!
Eddie Murphy in 48 Hours.

 

A bachelor is a selfish, undeserving guy who has cheated some woman out of a divorce. - Don Quinn

 

There are more pleasant things to do than beat up people. - Muhammad Ali

 

If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck. - Jeff Foxworthy

 

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it. - Franklin P. Jones

 

What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary. - Richard Harkness