When your woman wont put out...

[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while sh e tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where se picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all

dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs a woman.'

and just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that ***** knows I'm smarter than her.


I found this on another forum, thought I would share. I got a laugh out of it, hope its not a repost.
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Hahahhaahahaha. thats aweseome lol

 

That was awesome...haven't heard that in awhile. Last time a friend actually pulled it on his wife, and he spent alot of nights on the couch, or at my place.

 

Bahahahhaha,

 

I've read it before as well, haven't yet been pushed far enough to do it... yet. Did you ask your friend if it was worth it?

 

I've already decided I am going to do this to my old lady next time she does not put out.

 

[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica] I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.[/FONT]

Ha Ha "doesnt even know how to play tennis" Thats great.

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Never heard it before, funny!

 

nice!

 

Thats funny

 

Classic..............

 

haha thats wus up.

 

If i only had the balls to try something like that ............lol i would mess it up and just sound like a dumbass lol nice post tho bro hilirous

 

hahaha. thats a classic

 

very very good

 

ok, I'm not gonna lie, at first I really thought you were venting about you and your lady....but alas, as I read on, I realized that it was a joke. Nice work. I should try that with my wife sometime, on second thought....maybe not.

 

ha ha that's funny

 

i like revenge.

 

wait till she falls asleep......then stick it in her butt

 

bahaha thats hilarious