Houston area (along with DB's not from Houston) BS thread

It's hasn't grenades yet. You'll know when it grenades. But I'd get it fixed before it does grenade.

 

You been doin all them burnouts and driving 100mph+ with a dry diff?

 

Sweet truck but the rear bumper is wood? Also the rear wheel wells don't align with the rear tires at all

 

Truck slowly hanging on to life as I abuse it

 

Time to trade it in

 

#2ndgenproblems
Or
#Asiandriverproblems
?

 

In my theoretical government paper, I may or may not have said I would appoint nelson Mandela to secretary of state and Hitler for the secretary of urban development. .......

 

Alexander the great would be my secretary of transportation and sam houston would be my vp.

 

Anytime I ment..

 

Could be interesting

 

Bingo

 

I reckon I’d make a terrible candidate.

Ideally I would run as a Libertarian-leaning, moderate Republican. I have the widest array of beliefs in the political system out of most everyone I know. Most of my friends are either straight ticket on either side or on the far left or right.

This might be a bit unconventional, but as far as my ideologies go, I believe that there is a reasonable need for the government to help people when necessary, but should otherwise stay the hell out of the day to day lives of John Q. Public, it’s when those in society decide to take advantage of the system that I have an issue and would like to see the most change. Some facets of society have bred a generation after generation of lazy succubus who are more a drain than a building block. I believe that the greater population should be left alone unless that faction begins to become unruly, disruptive, or dissident. What is right for you will not necessarily be what is right and in my best interest. The hobo rule of “You do you” is one of my favorites. Another way to look at it is your right to throw a punch ends where my nose begins. My final thought on ideology is the concept that the government should be scared of the people and not the other way around.

I’ll use some historical personnel as my staff, as it will provide a more interesting read, and since there is always more to a campaign than that of what is seen, I’ll delve a little deeper than simply that of VP. A group of people with wide ranging experiences is better than a group of people who have never seen anything other than the inside of a classroom, deer blind, frat house, or North Gate:

Vice President: Sam Houston. Thanks to his many years in politics, experience living amongst the Cherokee, and duty to self and his constituents. His unwavering devotion to his adopted family shows that his loyalty is without repute. The fact that he whooped someone with his cane in session might help as well.

Secretary of Defense: General James “Mad Dog” Mattis. A lifelong bachelor who dedicated his life to service in the USMC and was one of the most hard-nosed leaders the Marine Corps ever had, yet stayed unwavering on balance and fair treatment of all while maintaining a professional veneer, being friendly to all, yet having a plan to kill them if necessary.

Secretary of State: Nelson Mandela. Though a communist, his unconventional African tribal childhood turned politician, he showed the true power of diplomacy. He put his country before his family and through personal sacrifice, helped end one of the darkest hours ever known to the world and is widely regarded as one of the most influential people ever.

Secretary of the Interior: Aldo Leopold. Considered the father of modern wildlife management and true friend of the outdoors. Who better to run the National Parks System?

Secretary of Transportation: Alexander the Great. The logistics of moving that amount of people and sustaining the capabilities for as long as he did is boggling. Say goodbye to traffic jams and rush hour congestion.

Secretary of Urban Development: Adolf Hitler. While arguably the most controversial, I think that had there been a limiting factor on his amount of power and influence, his career would have taken a less horrendous turn, but given history and ignoring the atrocities, look at the efficiency he relocated and housed millions of individuals. Imagine a brain like that working to solve the homeless/indigent problems plaguing most major cities.

Secretary of Treasury: Warren Buffet. I don’t think this one needs any explanation other than he is incredibly well versed in making and keeping money. He also urges people to become more fiscally sound.

Obviously with that wide array of personalities on one side, my policies and campaign aspirations would be equally varied and silly.

I’d aim my campaign at those who have been seemingly been forgotten by the current administration. Those middle class hardworking men and women who keep getting the shaft on taxes and Obamacare. Veterans being ignored by the VA. Students drowning in debt, even though the concept of military service for free school is too scary or too farfetched. First Responders who get no support when it comes time to get their back during tumultuous times. The educated and free thinkers who read more into policies other than what is posted on Facebook. People who are simply tired of “Big Government”.

Given my cohorts, I’d start a grassroots movement based on common sense, but having some relatively wealthy members of my staff, we’d be pretty set for capital without having to rely on over-the-top contributions that would jeopardize our political stance when it came time to make and pass laws and regulations.

Issues I would address would be relatively painful and unwelcome to those cemented in place for lengthy periods of time. Those would include transparency in the government (to the extent possible), increased levels of isolationism (to the extent possible, and notwithstanding the agreements we’ve made with other nations), increased benefits for hiring Americans and veterans as well as bringing jobs back to the US, balanced budgets and limiting foreign money borrowed, and term limits for those intent on remaining in the government for longer than any normal tenure. I’d also push for increased border security, not necessarily to the extent of a wall, but certainly a more active approach than is in place now. I think outside of the term limits, I think the hardest battle fought would be the cronyism, accepting special gifts, and limiting monetary contributions. Being in office may not pay the best, but that shouldn’t be the reason why you do it. Those who receive welfare/government support will be subjected to mandatory drug testing.

Some of the legislation I would ideally pass would be the legalization, regulation, and taxation of marijuana. Obviously you still have the mom and pop operations, but this would hopefully help stimulate some tax revenue as well as stem some of the influx of drugs from south of the border. Hopefully the legislation would result in job creation from farming to distribution to retail, such as the craft beer industry has done to beer. As far as the legal side, it would be treated like any other legal infraction when used to excess and should an issue arise such as a DUI/DWI.

Secondly, I would make Stolen Valor an all-encompassing term to include military service, law enforcement, fire fighters, EMT, and federal agents. These men and women sacrifice life and limb, not to mention family and friends, to protect and serve, and those benefiting without serving, or those who did serve but are now promoting falsified records to benefit would be treated like the criminals they are, on top of fraud, I would make sure they faced impersonating (federal, state, or local) agents.

The third action I would take would be to further the process to remove those that have spent more than 10 years in a single seat without making upward progress. Once you spend too much time in a single seat, you become complacent and are no longer representing anyone buy the big donors. Old blood is old ideas. Career politicians have their place, but only for short times. There is no reason for someone to be incumbent for the entirety of the length of time it would take for someone to be born and become President.

As relatively easy as most of this has been, I’ve had a difficult time coming up with my slogan. A friend and I sat around and talked about it for a bit and she mentioned “Make sure it rhymes…” I chuckled. The only think that rhymes with Pawlus is Ball-less – or so grades 4-10 taught me. I don’t think a simple “Jeb!” is effective at all, nor are the statements of “Make America Great Again”. To me that symbolizes that we are not still a great nation. I think I’ll just stick to “Just Crazy Enough To Work”.

 

Good read, Mike. I bolded the 2 or 3 mistakes I noticed for you. Always good to have another set of eyes to proofread I never realized we shared like 99% of the same views haha. You certainly were able to put them into words much better than I could have.

 

gracias, i write drunk and edit sober. gets me anywhere from 95-120 on papers with one.... slightly less than that because it was a whiskey night and i procrastinated as long as i could without NOT doing it....

 

don't let amy read any of this page.....

 

4 am anxiety attack will wake you up lol

 

How? How can you fuck up a diff? You've had 2 trucks while I'm still on my first one that has been on the drag strip 20 times, backroads for hundreds of miles, burnouts... Lots of burnouts... and tons of skinny pedal down trails.
All that and my diff's were still fine.

How the f can you blow up yours already?

 

Because Asian driver.

 

I asked where to send it not when lol