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I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that since they congregated at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away) that it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The cattle, who had seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it. After about 20 minutes my deer showed up -3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me. I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation. I took a step towards it...it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope and received an education.

The first thing that I learned is that while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope. That deer EXPLODED.

The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope with some dignity. A deer, no chance. That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I originally imagined. The only up side is that they do not have as much stamina as many animals.

A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head.

At that point I had lost my taste for corn fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope. I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual. Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to have it suffer a slow death so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand. Kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in there and started moving up so I could get my rope back. Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody so I was very surprised when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head - almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts. The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now) tricked it.

While I kept it busy tearing the bejesus out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose. That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day. Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that when an animal like a horse strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape. This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond I devised a different strategy. I screamed like woman and tried to turn and run. The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and three times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down. Now when a deer paws at you and knocks you down it does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head.

I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away. Now for the local legend. I was pretty beat up. My scalp was split open, I had several large goose eggs, my wrist was bleeding pretty good and felt broken (it turned out to be just badly bruised) and my back was bleeding in a few places, though my insulated canvas jacket had protected me from most of the worst of it. I drove to the nearest place, which was the co-op. I got out of the truck, covered in blood and dust and looking like hell. The guy who ran the place saw me through the window and came running out yelling "what happened?" I have never seen any law in the state of Kansas that would prohibit an individual from roping a deer. I suspect that this is an area that they have overlooked entirely. Knowing, as I do, the lengths to which law enforcement personnel will go to exercise their power, I was concerned that they may find a way to twist the existing laws to paint my actions as criminal. I swear...not wanting to admit that I had done something monumentally stupid played no part in my response. I told him "I was attacked by a deer". I did not mention that at the time I had a rope on it. The evidence was all over my body. Deer prints on the back of my jacket where it had stomped all over me and a large deer print on my face where it had struck me there. I asked him to call somebody to come get me. I didn't think I could make it home on my own. He did. Later that afternoon, a game warden showed up at my house and wanted to know about the deer attack. Surprisingly, deer attacks are a rare thing and wildlife and parks was interested in the event. I tried to describe the attack as completely and accurately as I could. I was filling the grain hopper and this deer came out of nowhere and just started kicking the hell out of me and BIT me. It was obviously rabid or insane or something. EVERYBODY for miles around knows about the deer attack (the guy at the co-op has a big mouth). For several weeks people dragged their kids in the house when they saw deer around and the local ranchers carried rifles when they filled their feeders.

I have told several people the story, but NEVER anybody around here. I have to see these people every day and as an outsider - a "city folk". I have enough trouble fitting in without them snickering behind my back and whispering "there is the dumbass that tried to rope the deer."

 

LOL i remember that now.... funny as hell

 

thanks roland, if i hadn't already repped you today i would definately hook you up

 

I used my superior logic and investigative powers.....
and googled "Deer Roping"

 

Thanks for the great story.

 

Going to try adopting a dog this weekend.
http://www.petfinder.com/petnote/displaypet.cgi?petid=10738054

 

That's awesome man, I rescued my dog from a a shelter he was only 4 months old.

 

My Golden Retriever (Zoe) belonged to my parents, and I took her with me as she had adopted me a long time ago.

My Schnauzer/Terrier Mix (Mercedes) is a rescue pet. "She is so ugly she's cute", says my wife. To make matters worse, she is wicked smart.

My Black/Yellow Lab Mix (Porsche) is a rescue pet as well. She keeps me and Zoe young by not letting us have a minute to rest, and she keeps Zoe company while I am at work.

I have three of the best dogs in the world. ...and 2 of them are rescues! That's the way to go!

 

Roger that.

 

Rescue dogs rock! One of mine is a rescue and any future Collies will be rescues as well.

 

One of my cousins is married to a us customs officer, they bought/adopted a retired customs dog, a German shepherd, its awesome! great training, but the dogs looks awfully tired for a 4yr old dog...

 

Got my dog yesterday!!

So gentle my 10 month old could poke her tongue and she didn't react! All three girls could play with her, and she had a blast! I didn't hear her bark until around 8pm last night when was running around like crazy on a tie out line (I think she was just testing and starting to relax around us). She doesn't seem to care about the 4 cats we have other than watching them and maybe wondering why they won't play with her! I went to bed last night and saw 3 of them clustered together on the stairs glaring at the dog in the living room! (those 3 don't normally all sit together)

She's been sleeping most of today though. Guess going from a house in the city with no yard and short walks to a country house with lots of land to run on wore her out! I ran her around my parents' house before coming home to ours and doing to same. She gets up to go outside, and wander around the house a bit, but that's it. Maybe after a few days and she gets used to all the activity.

Oh! And she played with our chinchilla today too! That was amusing! He would run around while Lola (dog) chased after. Lola didn't try to bite him or even barked or growled. Just scrambled along the hardwood floors trying not to crash into the doorways. The chinchilla hid behind boxes and stuff, ran between her legs, bounced off a door, and shot across the other room. Only to do the same thing going the other way. I almost think Henry (chin) had more fun playing with Lola as the cats are afraid of him. So they won't chase him. He chases them until they run and hide, then it's me chasing him to get him back in the cage.

 

Lol thats funny man!

 

Yeah.... Surprisingly gentle for a bread supposedly bred to hunt bear.... Then again, according to what my wife found online Japanese mothers used to have them watch their children. Guess I can see why after seeing out she behaves around mine (and they are hyper little sh!ts).

 

My new-to-me dog!

 

Actually, the one in yellow shorts is a cousin from Florida. Single father, ADD, on a patch for that, and needed some "female influence" in her life so her dad sent her up here for the summer. Spend time with my wife, our daughters, and my mother in law. A week after she was up here we took her off the patch, changed her diet (more healthy food instead of fast/microwave food) and she's fine. No stuttering, more calm, doesn't binge eat like after the patch came off, putting on some weight, able to focus on homework..... Really makes me wonder WTF those patches do.

 

hope everyone had a less dramatic weekend... my brother shot at a friend of mine twice... this proves that crazies do run in the family