Work Restroom Etiquette

maybe its not commanded coughs....he is at ground zero...and might be having breathing difficulties....

 

self-conscious of their poo plops maybe?

 

You kidding? A real man amplifies the sounds of his mighty sphincter spawn's decent into the murky depths.

 

Probably like all our hourly employees (ages 18-21) they go in the bathroom and play on their phones. Some waste hours per day in the bathroom. At least they don't make $15/hr

 

There's this early 20's big preachers son dude that goes to my gym... It never fails, the dude never flushes, but leaves his pee and partial remnants along with a pile of TP in the toilet, with the lid down.. And rolls out like nothing.. I've also notice paper towels left near by... Somehow the topic came up with somebody at the gym, and they knew exactly who I was talking about.. They were like oh yeah, that's the preachers boy.. They had seen it too.
His dad came in with his wife one day, after their workout on the treadmill, she waited on a bench while he blew up the mens restroom.. When they left, he left the door wide ass open with the light/fan off, causing his ass funk to fill the entire gym..

Another lady came in the other day, blew it up, and left the door open, fan/light off, stunk the whole half of the gym up, I had to leave.

Is it not common knowledge to leave the door close with a fan on to clear it out a little???, not to mention who wants people knowing you just destroyed a toilet.

People like that make me wonder just how nasty they are, their house must be riddled with gross.

 

If you shop bulk food bins you may not want to read this:

When I was in the police academy my Tac Officer told my class about a call she had for someone taking a shit in a grocery store parking lot and the subject had just walked in to the grocery store. When she and her partner arrived they found the dude had explosive diarrhea in a parking stall and had wiped his ass with his bare hand, cleaning it off on the blacktop. They found the dude in the bulk food aisle, positively ID'd it was him based on the diarrhea down the back of his pant legs. There were diarrhea smears on the cart handle from his hands that still had diarrhea on them and he had multiple bags of food he had filled from the tubs. Luckily the bulk foods were at the front of the store so they were fairly certain that was the only area of the store he had been in. Since they did not know exactly which bins he had put his hands into the manager had all of the bulk foods thrown away.

 

I'll never understand that routine. A-holes that wont flush are just childish. It's like a little protest poo poo.

 

So, being military I can honestly say all of these are true. Only worse. Between a maintenance unit full of dudes, some of which barely made it out of high school, to pilots who think their shit doesn't stink, those bathrooms could honestly be worse than any middle eastern bathroom I had ever gone to. I would rather shit in the hole in the middle of a Turkish market than some of our bathrooms in the hangars.

The ones that take the cake.
--3 foot long toilet snake. Somehow wrapped along the top of the seat, into the bowl, and disappearing into the toilet somewhere. No TP...
--Dude at Boeing watching porn while in the bathroom, volume *just* loud enough for another person who was crapping next to him to hear.
--Taco Tuesday in the middle east..... Nuff said here.
--Asian dude who takes wet paper towels in to the shitter with him every time he goes. And then tries to flush them. Paper towels do not flush.
--Same Asian dude takes paper towels to the urinal with him and leaves them in the urinal.

The rest has been covered SOMEWHERE in this thread.

 

Using a Target bathroom got really uncomfortable really fast

 

you have just described my buddy from back home, dude is a total slob (His nickname is dumpster). Dude always wreaks of B.O., he doesn't work out but has a 6 pack and decent sized guns, could totally pull chicks if he simply took a f'n shower, put on deodorant and wore clean clothes. He's like Carl on Workaholics, smells like "Watertrash".

 

YOBAGOYA!

 

This shit is only going to get worse and I'm sure some irate husbands and Boyfriends will stomp some trans dude ass.......

It almost happened this weekend @ Target close too me where an "IT" or whatever it was went into the Ladies room and the husband of the wife who was in the bathroom opened up the door to check on his wife and then words were exchanged....

 

Try being on a Navy ship and some jack ass/es clog the toilet/s up, causing it to fill to the rim, then when the ship rocks it spills over onto the deck and you have to use the shower and it's about an inch or to deep, sloshing around on the deck... And it happening frequently... There's not a doubt in my mind living conditions are far worse than MOST maximum security prisons. A true health hazard to say the least..

Another fun one, try being in some random foreign third world country, them saying whatever you do guys, don't drink the water or eat the ice.. Then them filling the ships water tanks up with that same water they said DON'T drink!, then tons drink it(not knowing what they had done), causing them to get some no telling what, and giving them uncontrollable explosive ass syndrome.. Like you can not make it to head or when you do it goes everywhere.... How does that make sense?

That's some examples.

 

So with this epic thread I feel the need to share a few bad experiences in my many travels.
First - I was in a school with some forgien students, I was at the urinal doing my thing and this asian dude next to me was finishing up, when he was done pissing he holds the urinal flush down with one hand and then reaches into the urinal awith his other hand and starts splashing water on his junk. I guess he was getting his weekly dick washing in.
Second- I was in an airport overseas in a third world arab country, I go waking into the bathroom and saw this dude with his foot up on the counter with his man dress all pulled up tucked uder his chin with his nuggets in the sink washing them. side note- the bathrrom was packed and no one there was like WTF. wierd stuff you see when you travel.

 

I have one about one of my buddies I'll have to share later... It's hilarious.

 

It should help get the angle of attack just right when you're hurting for a squirtin

 

Donald Trump could be your next Prez. You've got more to worry about than bits in the bathroom.