Dick's Dank Yank Wank Tank

Soooo.... black people go to hell? *races #reported

 

Why are the Indians barbecuing the darkies?

 

Hulk Hogan throws Hulk Hogan into a mustard and ketchup pit. Kane is ready to skewer while Ray Mysterio watches.

 

Night dude!!!!

 

I suppose that is...an interpretation.

Are you inviting me to rape you to death?

Crikey. I'll have to delete this entire thread before my son learns how to read.

 

Evidence of adulthood right there. I promise I won't tell anyone.

 

FIFY

 

Here I'm thinking "cool, Scott did some build shit."

... shoulda known better.

 

I bought a 2015 Taco in January of last year...

 

This I knew ... doesn't anyone pay attention around here any more?

Hi again Connor.

 

Now that Dick-Scott is a breeder, details of other people and their lives don't matter and are slowly being pushed out of his head and replaced with things like... who has diapers on sale and what gerber food replacement goo is preferred.
Not that the details of other people's lives ever really mattered much.....

 

Oooooh, yeah. So you have a build thread I can shit in?

 

FTFY

 

Shit rotting on my shelves:
Prinsu cab and top racks
Light brackets
Custom mud guards
Door sill protectors
Some other shit I think, can't remember

So last Friday night I was trying to be all proactive to prep and load the truck to go down to the Bay this past weekend after a very long shitty week.

Kid would not go to sleep, mom and I tag-teamed twice...finally get out there, go to open the Leer door...the handle just spins. And spins. And spins. Are. You. Fucking. Serious. I know what it is. On the list to fix every weekend, never have time, or forget. The screw that holds the latch bolt is loose, and the bolts slip back off the latch mechanism and won't engage. Known design flaw. It needs to be removed, cleaned, some Loctite applied to the screw, and replaced. 5 min job on a weekend.

So how do I get to it? Crawl through the cab slider and the cap slider, right? No prob, I used to be able to do this in my 93.
Move truck to garage.
Remove baby seat base and jumbo bambino mirrors attached to headrests. Remove headrests, fold down seats, open windows, wow, that is no a very big hole WTF. Squeeze in head and one shoulder. Game over. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

Stare at the latch with my headlamp on. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. So close, so far. Fuck. Hmmmm. The big sliding latch above all that it pretty free and clear of all the other bits, and moves in a straight line left to right. If I could just find something 8 feet long, light, and rigid...begin praying.

Commence desperate search through garage...PortaMate racks....AHA! Copper pipe!
Remove pile of shit on said pipe. Gingerly maneuver pipe through the front door of the cab and thread back through slider window. Climb into back seat. Pray a bit more. Reach....and....CLICK. Holy shit. It worked. Holy shit.

Look up which auto parts stores are open...1 minute past 9 Friday night. Fuck. Not the 2 closest ones....go to the one in the ghetto with armed guards at night. Get the fucking little tube of motherfucking Loctite.

Head home. Almost get there, and realize I forgot the main thing I was going to do, fill the gas tank. Continue on to the now out-of-the-way gas station. Fill up. Swear at the shitbag owner for never having squeegees or clean water. Get home, back up to garage, continue cleaning and reinstalling Leer lock.

Put rear seats up. While I'm at it, find some shit to do a better job of securing that annoying bambino mirror to the weird middle headrest. Reinstall bambino mirrors. Reinstall baby seat base, but in the middle, using the fiddly, awkward seatbelt method which is required in the middle rather than Latch system. Throw all tools and other pipes and crap in a big pile to deal with later.

Close up garage, drive around front again and commence loading truck with stuff for the weekend.

It is now quarter to 11. I have still not packed my bag...because, you know, fuck me.

That's how it rolls now, boys.

 

Lawd hammercy

 

I do not. That's why I'm in yours

 

Well don't squeeze the goddamn Charmin.