Deer Hunters... Here is a STORY for YOU!!!!

Kuneff · Jan 27, 2010

Actually you don't even have to be a hunter to find the humor here...

I found this on the Infiniti Forum I am on... WOW...

ROPING A DEER
Author unknown

Actual letter from someone who farms, writes well and tried this:

I had this idea that I could rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up
on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. The first step
in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they
congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me
when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at
the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away),
it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over
its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The
cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were
not having any of it. After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up-- 3 of
them. I picked out a likely looking
one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer
just stood there and stared at me. I wrapped the rope around my waist
and twisted the end so I would have a good hold.

The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was
mildly concerned about the whole rope situation. I took a step towards
it, it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope .., and then
received an education. The first thing that I learned is that, while a
deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they
are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope.

That deer EXPLODED. The second thing I learned is that pound for pound,
a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that
weight range I could fight down with a rope and with some dignity. A
deer -- no chance.

That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no
controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off
my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me
that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had
originally imagined. The only upside is that they do not have as much
stamina as many other animals.

A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk
me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up.. It took me a few
minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing
out of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for
corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end
of that rope.

I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it
would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no
love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing,
and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual. Despite the
gash
in my head and the several large knots where I had
cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various
large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think
clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared
some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in. I
didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get
it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I
had set before hand....kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in
there and I started moving up so I could get my rope back.

Did you know that deer bite?

They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would
bite somebody, so I was very surprised when ... I reached up there to
grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist. Now, when a deer
bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you
and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head--almost like a pit
bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.

The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and
draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was
ineffective.

It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but
it was likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than a deer (though
you may be questioning that claim by now), tricked it. While I kept it
busy tearing the tendons out of my right arm, I reached up with my left
hand and pulled that rope loose.

That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.

Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on
their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and
their hooves are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that,
when an animal --like a horse --strikes at you with their hooves and you
can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise
and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause
them to back down a bit so you can escape.

This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would
not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different
strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run. The reason
I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws
at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back
of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides
being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned
to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.

Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not
immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has
passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on
you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering
your head.

I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away. So
now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a
scope to sort of even the odds.

All these events are true so help me God... An Educated Rancher
Click to expand...

bwood_usmc · Jan 27, 2010

If its true or not.... still a funny story to read lol

Kuneff · Jan 27, 2010

bwood_usmc said: ↑

If its true or not.... still a funny story to read lol
Click to expand...

I agree, but I am not sure how someone could even make something like that up.

Packman73 · Jan 27, 2010

A good read, true or not.

jammdogg · Jan 27, 2010

I just sent this to my dad, the mighty hunter. Sounds like him.....

Incognito · Jan 27, 2010

moto932 · Jan 27, 2010

lol!! i got a cramp i was laughing so hard

qballenko · Jan 27, 2010

Should have went with a lawn ornament instead.

Avid elk hunters Mark and Carol Brye unwittingly came up with a new weapon for deer hunting when their concrete lawn ornament killed a whitetail buck last week.
No, it wasn't the Roaming Gnome, but a 640-pound, life-like concrete elk statue given to the Viroqua, Wis., residents as a Christmas gift by their children.
The LaCrosse Tribune reports that Mark awoke one morning to see the statue on its side. He didn't immediately realize that a 180-pound buck lay dead in his yard.
It appears that the deer saw the statue as a rival male in its territory and began sparring with it. The buck apparently went in for a head butt and shattered its skull, staggered for about 20 feet and fell dead.
"I could tell that the buck poked the statue a couple of times by the chipped paint on it," Mark said.
He claimed the animal with Vernon County conservation wardens using one of his deer tags. The buck was butchered and is in the freezer.
And the concrete elk? "The statue is OK, but the antlers broke off when it tipped over," added Mark. He is considering putting the deer horns on the statue, as a remembrance of the odd but true tale.
Meanwhile, the lawn art remains on its side, awaiting reinforcements to help lift it back into place. "I can't tip it back up until I get a whole bunch of guys to help me," said Mark.
Click to expand...

wildjerseyfirefighter · Jan 27, 2010

ive read that before, still funny

nd · Jan 29, 2010

read it at least 5 times before and it never gets any less funny. that dude has a way with words

TurfTaco · Jan 29, 2010

When he asked "did you know deer bite", I lost it. I can hardly type this for the tears of laughter!

HondaGM · Jan 29, 2010

thats why i shoot a deer in the face.

Ridingontrd · Mar 7, 2012

For the funny.BUMP.

TnRedNeck721 · Mar 7, 2012

good read. true or not. it seams true. but idk. i’ll have to show dad this.

spares · Mar 7, 2012

TurfTaco said: ↑

When he asked "did you know deer bite", I lost it. I can hardly type this for the tears of laughter!
Click to expand...

same reaction I had

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Deer Hunters... Here is a STORY for YOU!!!!

#1
Kuneff [OP] Carpe Diem

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bwood_usmc Wiskey Tango Foxtrot....

#3
Kuneff [OP] Carpe Diem

#4
Packman73 ^^^^ 3%er ^^^^

#5
jammdogg Well-Known Member

#6
Incognito No better friend, no worse enemy

#7
moto932 What's the matter, Colonel Sandurz? CHICKEN?

#8
qballenko Well-Known Member

#9
wildjerseyfirefighter I sell fishing and fishing accessories

#10
nd Radical Town. It's a hell of a place!

#11
TurfTaco Is there a long john silvers on the island?

#12
HondaGM CallSign Monke

#13
Ridingontrd Well-Known Member

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#15
spares Canadian Bacon

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Welcome to Tacoma World!

Deer Hunters... Here is a STORY for YOU!!!!

#1 Kuneff [OP] Carpe Diem

#2 bwood_usmc Wiskey Tango Foxtrot....

#3 Kuneff [OP] Carpe Diem

#4 Packman73 ^^^^ 3%er ^^^^

#5 jammdogg Well-Known Member

#6 Incognito No better friend, no worse enemy

#7 moto932 What's the matter, Colonel Sandurz? CHICKEN?

#8 qballenko Well-Known Member

#9 wildjerseyfirefighter I sell fishing and fishing accessories

#10 nd Radical Town. It's a hell of a place!

#11 TurfTaco Is there a long john silvers on the island?

#12 HondaGM CallSign Monke

#13 Ridingontrd Well-Known Member

#14 TnRedNeck721 Nick Namer

#15 spares Canadian Bacon

Products Discussed in Entire Site Forum: Off-Topic Discussion

#1
Kuneff [OP] Carpe Diem

#2
bwood_usmc Wiskey Tango Foxtrot....

#3
Kuneff [OP] Carpe Diem

#4
Packman73 ^^^^ 3%er ^^^^

#5
jammdogg Well-Known Member

#6
Incognito No better friend, no worse enemy

#7
moto932 What's the matter, Colonel Sandurz? CHICKEN?

#8
qballenko Well-Known Member

#9
wildjerseyfirefighter I sell fishing and fishing accessories

#10
nd Radical Town. It's a hell of a place!

#11
TurfTaco Is there a long john silvers on the island?

#12
HondaGM CallSign Monke

#13
Ridingontrd Well-Known Member

#14
TnRedNeck721 Nick Namer

#15
spares Canadian Bacon

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