Houston area (along with DB's not from Houston) BS thread

:[ thats awful

 

coworker just walked in "god damn girl could you drive that jeep any slower?!" "that skinny pedal on the right makes to go!"

 

You told him that your skinny pedal was already floored didn't you? Or, go drop it into 4, and, assuming the axles don't grenade, go check your wheel flex on his car.

 

i told him "jeep only goes so fast!"

 

I need tacos, and a lot of money in my bank account.

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Tell them it's a mall crawler! its designed to crawl!

 

Wait.. you need breakfast tacos? and you have a lot of money in your account ?

Text me your credit car info.. I'll have the tacos shipped today

 

If i had a lot of money i may open a taco truck.

 

You do have a lot of money. look in your bank account

 

How much do you have in your money laundering account??

 

Zilch lol

 

You must not be good at this money laundering

 

...needs donut shop...

 

Sshh!! don't let the secret out!
And how are you getting Internet in the basement if my wifi is out?

 

Look closer at your bill, and you might notice that second access point charge.

Oh, whoops, guess I shouldn't have said that out loud.....