Hilarious Criagslist AD

Thought this was hilarious!

http://mohave.craigslist.org/cto/1584372342.html

Toyota 4runner $3000 obo (havasu)
Date: 2010-02-03, 12:41PM MST


OK, let me start off by saying this 4runner is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women) . My friend, if it was possible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow, this brute of a yota would look like Tom Selleck . It is just that manly .

It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on . It wasn't meant to transport you to yoga class or Linens & Things . No, that's what your Prius is for . If that's the kind of 4 wheeler you're looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now . I mean it . Just stop .

This car was engineered by 3rd degree ninja super-warriors in the highest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis . Made when a toyota was built for a REAL man. Back before the times of superfluous nancy boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don't get lost), heated leather seats (a real man doesn't let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don't even know what On Star is) and if the technology HAD been around, they wouldn't have put that limp-wristed crap in this baby! .

There's only 200,000 miles on this four-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kickass. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo.

No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need . It has a V6 3.0 engine to outrun the cops (OR out pull). It's got a special blood/gore resistant seat cover . It even has a first-aid kit in the back . You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you're operating on yourself . The 4runner also has an automatic transmission so if you're being chased by Libyan terrorists, you'll still be able to shoot your machine gun out the window and drive at the same time . It's saved my bacon more than once .

My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $3000, but I'll entertain reasonable offers . And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me $1,000 for it . That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab . Would it hurt? Hell yeah . Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore .

Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see . If it's a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me . I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my ladies, but I'll get back to you . And when I do, we'll talk about a price over a glass of Kentucky Bourbon while listening to Johnny Cash .

To sweeten the deal a little, I'm throwing in two strips of rawhide. I wrapped these around my wrists as bracers to keep my hands on the wheel when I had to control this monster. Use them for what ever you feel fit, I'm just making a suggestion.

you can reach me with a phone call or a text to 928******* or you can reply to my email if your serious hit me up and you can come check it out.

 

Now, THAT is a salesman!!!

 

Love the fact he didn't even wash the mud and dirt off of it.

 

That was very good! ROFL!!!

The 4runner also has an automatic transmission so if you're being chased by Libyan terrorists, you'll still be able to shoot your machine gun out the window and drive at the same time

Image from Libyan terrorists in the movie "Back to the Future"

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My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $3000, but I'll entertain reasonable offers . And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me $1,000 for it . That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab . Would it hurt? Hell yeah ...
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lol. good stuff

 

sold like a true toyota should be. muddy

 

hahaha

 

Awesome!

 

HAHAHAHAHA. That's hilarious!

 

x2
That has to be one of the best descriptions i have ever read. It makes you want to scramble some cash together and buy it.

 

could not stop laughing....first aid kit was the best.

 

Nice find.

 

Wow, funny. Think he sold it?

 

I laughed until I cried. GREAT find!

OP... You need to copy the whole ad and put it in your first post. Eventually that link won't work anymore b/c it'll expire and I think it's funny enough that it should live on forever here at TW.

 

Part of me wants to copy and paste in a reply so we can enjoy it long after the ad has been removed. Every time I go back and read it I laugh. Just what I needed on a Tuesday at work.

 

Don't do it down here... Edit your first post so it's what people see first.

 

It will live on as a monument to your machismo! Priceless.

 

Posted it up top.

 

I sent a message to the guy telling him we got a kick out of his ad and wishing him the best of luck with the sale.

 

Awesome.