Help

Dont know where to post this, but hope i got it in the right place.

Here goes...

I am now in the process of getting seperated from my wife. We almost seperated last march, but she got better and i gave her a chance. But now i just cant see us being together much longer.

The reason why we are seperating is because she thinks i value money more than love, she always throws back to me what i said to her to the point its like i am talking to a mirror. Another one is that i am 31 years old, and i have to pracatlly beg to get some in bed and thats ususally once a month. I am too young to not have it when i want it. last time she made the first move or anything was back in november. I worked hard and went to school the same time as working so that i could get a degree so that i could get a better job. Well i got my dream job making the money i deserve and it has putten a big drift on us. She does things all the time that she knows gets me mad. Its gotten to the point where i have no more love for her. But at the same time i feel bad because i have a 6 year old daughter and I dont want to lose her. but i gotta be happy myself. I always have to hear her supection that i like someone else because i work with alot of woman in the hospital setting, and also she always ask 2 to 5 times a day. do you love me, whats wrong with you, or if i have a converstation with her, she will tick me off by saying whoa why are you so angery why do you have alot of anger. She always thinks of herself. example she packed all her woman crap when we went to skiing, and packed my toothbrush, but didnt pack my deoderant, even though its in the same drawer as everything else is. I asked her about it and she said she couldnt pack everything. i was like its in the same drawer... and she was off all day while i worked a 8 to 5 job. To top it of shes completely deaf, and everytime i get an important phone call related to work shes like whos that whos that bothering me all the time while i am on the phone when she knows i cant talk to her and the phone at the same time.

Sorry for a long post, but i just dont know what to do. I got an appt with the lawyer on march to discuss my options. I just dont want to get raped for child support, (cant really afford it since i have all the student loans and debts in my name)

I am to the point where i am depressed and my co workers see it also.

 

... Do what's in your heart!! Good luck!!!

 

how long have you been married?

 

Sorry to hear that, fucking shitty. If it's not working for the two of you, then it's best to go separate ways and be happy, than to stick together and be batshit angry all the time. The wife and I don't always see eye to eye (She a red head, I'm fucked to begin with ), but generally I just give it a day and we're good again. Thankfully neither of us holds a grudge. But if it got to the point where it's making day to day life unbearable, then it'd be time to mosey along. Hopefully she can find someone else to make her happy, and the same goes for you. I can't say crap for the child support I'm afraid.

 

7 years going on 8 was with her for 2 years before we got married so its a total of almost 10 years.

 

Sometime 2 people just drift apart...the thing to remember is that you CAN'T put any strain on your daughter...it's not her fault mom and dad don't get along anymore. You seem like a great guy and all I can say is just do the best you can bud...thats all you can do...let the other pieces fall into place cause its outta your hands. At least at the end of everything you can say you gave it your all.

 

Well thats one of the reason why i want to get out now while i am young. i am only 31 years old so i am still in the young enough age. I miss getting my jigs on every night and not have to beg for it once or twice a month.

 

Yeah. I mean shes disagrees with everything i do. how i spend my money, how i punish my daughter, etc. I had to put my foot down just to get my audio stuff for my truck, and theres more stuff i want for it but i cant get it because of her. Its a consant stress for me.

 

Is she like really, for real deaf? Or are you just saying that cuz she asks you who it is all the time? Bottom line is that you guys have a kid together that needs a MOM AND DAD. Period. That is the number one priority. The you wanting your stuff and her wanting her stuff went out the window when you had your daughter. It's not about either of you now, it's about her. Of course you need to be happy, and if you aren't, you aren't. All i'm saying is that the kid is what matters here. You guys go your separate ways and such, but the child needs to be taken care of even more so now.

And yeah, you most likely are gonna get raped with child support, but that was the decision you made having a child.

Hope everything works out for you. If it were me, marriage counseling would have been the first choice when waters turned rough a long time ago.

 

She should support you and your hobbies...my girl is pulling this shit on me right now and i'm getting pretty fuckin sick of it myself!

 

i've been married for 10 years, 1 or 2 times a month is normal i guess,depends on if you beg enough.

 

No but I hope when I get married it is more than that... The least being like once a week...

 

that seems to be the norm from what i've heard. I've been with my girl for 6 years and we've been engaged a year. We do the deed about 3-4 time a month...which isn't bad considering our schedules collide so bad

 

That would be keep me happy... I mean more would be great but even when I lived with my ex many times schedules keep things from happening..

 

Heard this and you might try it.

Think of 10 things you would do for her, IF you loved her, and go home and do those things. and keep trying to do those things and see if it works out.

The most important thing is your daughter.

 

yeah,but when you get married things change,she doesnt have to impress you as much,you'll see

 

i agree with flim flam rubber rammer jammer

 

Yeah but I am home every day and so is she.. we dont go out much or anything. I thought once you turn 30 it get better? then when you hit 50 it gets lagging?

 

Thanks Chris,

We did try but she refuses to really express her feelings because she's stubborn and shes convinced its me and not her. Its been going on for about a year.