PennSilverTaco's "Perfect 5-Lug Regular Cab" Build, Aspergers, and General BS MegaThread!

One night in college my room mate's buddies from out of town came to stay with us and we proceeded to get drunk as usual. After we were several drinks in and ready to take the party outside, one of my room mate's friends wanders off and we couldn't find him. His phone was inside so calling him did no good. He had never been to town before so after jacking around for a while we assumed he was lost. We walked over 2 miles looking for him all over the neighborhoods and inside local stores. When we got back home pretty much sober and shitting our pants thinking he was gonna be dead by morning, he saw us and came walking over from the neighbors apartment. He was there the whole time drinking with them and eating cookies some chick baked.

 

Have I been

?

 

@Plain Jane Taco
@LocoLocal
@Iamraiderpower

My name (first and last), is on the acknowledgements/dedication page of a New York Times Bestseller! I am serious!

This building at the corner of South Main Street and West Oakland Avenue in Doylestown holds a special place in my heart...
What is now "Cowgirl Chile Co." used to be a little place called the "Writers Coffeehouse" run by a pretty damn good author named Jonathan Maberry. He ran the program at this location from like September to November 2005, but then we had to moved and we ended up holding the weekly meetings in the dining room of his friend's townhouse (also in Doylestown) until like September 2006. He reluctantly closed the program because he had other obligations (He is a New York Times Bestselling Author, so I'd say that's a good excuse).


He ran this program in a small space right through that red door, and my favorite book series by him would have to be the Pine Deep Trilogy. The goal of his program was to help aspiring young writers between the ages of 12 and 18 years of age fulfill their dream. My idea for a novel was a sci-fi/horror/thriller novel about cloned/genetically modified turkeys that grow way too big and wreak havoc in the Philadelphia suburbs during Thanksgiving. Laugh all you want, but all of my fellow aspiring writers loved it, and more importantly, Mr. Maberry loved it too. Jonathan even said he could see it being made into a movie someday. This however, was back in 2005-2007. Things like graduating from college, moving into a new house, and figuring out what the hell I wanted to do with my life got in the way.

As you can probably tell, I still love to write, but I have not actively worked on "Attack of the Turkeys" since at least 2007.

Now, here's my claim to fame. Ghost Road Blues is the first book in Jonathan's Pine Deep Trilogy, published in 2006. The series also takes place in October 2006, in the fictional Bucks County town of Pine Deep, Pennsylvania (based on New Hope, PA). There were about a dozen students in Jonathan's inaugural class included in the , and every single one of us is listed in the acknowledgements! I'm pretty sure all of us got a free signed copy too, and I still have it packed away somewhere. Though my copy of Ghost Road Blues is a lot like my Tacoma. Not for sale!

This is what the book looks like:


I reconnected with Jonathan at one of his signings in April 2010, and he was very happy to pose for a couple pictures. He also signed some other books of his I owned, including the one I'm holding...

In 2012 or 2013, he relocated to Southern California because one of his books was being made into a movie and he was acting as consultant. Sadly I haven't seen him since...



Jonathan Maberry is one of those guys I would classify as a Professional Badass, for lack of a better term...

 

@ColoradoTJ
@El Duderino

This is one of those times when I REALLY lost my temper with somebody and they actually deserved it!

Every September, there is bicycle race in Doylestown Borough. This particular incident took place on September 11, 2016. My neighbor and I installed my new head unit and backup camera on September 24, so this means I did not have my backup camera or my dashcams yet!

My boss was paying me to run errands on an as-needed basis. A street dividing the parking lot of Puck from the alley across the street was shut down to regular traffic, but because I worked at Puck, the officials gave me an exemption. As long as the cyclists were at least 2 or 3 blocks away, the barriers would be moved so I could get through. I would drive across this street, drive down the alley, and then make a left onto another street at the other end of the alley...

On my 3rd run of the day, I pulled up to this little intersection (the barricade was out of the way at this point), made sure the street was clear, and slowly inched out into the street...

All of sudden, someone calls the official on his walkie-talkie. The official turns to me, starts motioning with his hand, and says "Gotta move back, they're coming." What that meant was that the cyclists were coming. I shifted into reverse, looked out the back window, and started to backup. It was at this point that I saw a large family right in my path, so I stopped. My front bumper was nowhere near blocking the path of the cyclists, but this clueless official keeps yelling at me to back up, obviously unaware that there's a family with two infants right behind me.

I think I actually did try to tell him that there was a group of people behind my truck, but he wasn't listening. I had my foot on the brake, and I slammed my truck into park, leaned out the window and just bellowed "I'M NOT GOING TO FLOOR IT IN REVERSE!" I was the one behind the wheel of the truck, I knew I was not blocking the path, and I could see people behind me that he couldn't.

At that point I just stood my ground and refused to move my truck. The cyclists whizzed past us with plenty of room to spare, followed by the Audi station wagon a local car dealer had donated as a support vehicle for the event. Nothing happened...

I explained that there had been a family behind me, and he apologized...

 

I park my truck on the street of my neighborhood and I'd say a couple times a year I get a note in the windshield asking if I wanted to sell it. Flattering, but annoying. Tacomas are crazy popular here. I was just in San Francisco this morning walking through the Tenderloin and SoMa and I swear to god every other truck was a Tacoma. It was insane.

 

Easier to maneuver in SF than full size trucks.

Not that mind bending.

 

Most of them were 2nd and 3rd gens. Only saw a couple of 1st gens. The rest of the trucks were huge full sized F250's and Silverados.

 

These pictures were taken on July 25, 2012:

 

April 8, 2013:



I honestly don't remember if the encounter happened before I took the July 25th photos, or between July 25th and April 8th; As you can see though, I did go back there twice to take pictures of the same truck and didn't have a problem!

 

@Plain Jane Taco
@LocoLocal
@Iamraiderpower

This was on October 29, 2013:



The meathead who owned this GMC Sierra somehow got it into what little brain he had that a guy standing across the street taking pictures of his truck must be planning to steal the damn thing! On top of that, I was walking Tully...

Really, dude? A hobby photographer walking his dog (actually his boss's dog) is going to steal a ¾-ton truck with a trailer as big as his own Tacoma hooked up to the back?

FYI: The keys actually were in the ignition, but I had no way of knowing that... If somebody actually did steal this truck as a result of the owner leaving the keys in the ignition, I would have laughed until I couldn't breathe...






Also, I had the decency to black out the company name on the truck...

You don't want me complaining on a public forum about how you acted like a dick to me, THEN DON'T ACT LIKE A DICK TO ME!

 

@Plain Jane Taco
@LocoLocal
@Iamraiderpower

This is another one of my personal favorite "Douchebag of the Week" stories...

It happened on April 20, 2013...

I was still in college and was shadowing my friend Michael "Soundman Mike" Lightkep for a day so I could write an article about him for my college newspaper. My parents drove me into Manayunk and dropped me off at the record store where his gig was...

After I got all I needed for the first part of my story, I walked around with my camera for a while. I took pictures of an old Bronco II in a private parking lot and had no problems...

My favorite radio station of all time always has been and always will be 93.3 WMMR. Preston and Steve have been a part of my morning commute for almost 4 years now!

Anyway, MMR happened to be doing some kind of event right up the street from the record store. I walked up the street on the sidewalk ACROSS from the event and where the WMMR van in the pictures below was parked at the curb, taking pictures of the van and other random stuff...

A short time later I headed back to the record store on the side of the street where the van was parked at the curb...



It was while I was taking pictures of the van from this angle that the event official came out of the lot where the MMR event was being held. He started ranting about how he'd seen me "walking up and down the street taking pictures," and demanded to see my press pass. WTF?

I politely but rather anxiously told him that I was a huge fan of WMMR and Pierre Robert (BEST DJ EVER), and that's why I was taking pictures of the van. He apologized, told me I'd done nothing wrong and to carry on, and disappeared as quickly as he'd shown up...

 

Obviously it's a ¾-ton Silverado (forget what year). A tree limb fell on it while the owner was driving. The owner drove it to the body shop where I've brought my Tacoma for bodywork multiple times, and that's where I first laid eyes on it. I took this picture in September 2015. Something under the hood (throttle, maybe?) got damaged and the truck was revving by itself, but other than that it was fine. The airbags did not deploy, it ran and drove fine, it didn't overheat, the A/C worked, and the owner was not expecting his insurance company to total it...

Surprisingly, they totaled it! The owner was pissed, since the truck was MINT before the tree fell on it (not to mention paid off), but he grudgingly took almost $30K from his insurance company and bought a new truck.

 

I am only guessing here and I really don't know if it is, but if the structural integrity of the cab has been compromised in any way they would total it. Where the branch hit would be close to the frame of the cab.

 

I do know that the insurance company would not pay 30K if there was any way to fix the truck safely and cheaper.

 

I was gonna jump in and say this but you beat me to it. It's usually the owner fighting the insurance crooks to total a vehicle not the other way around.

 

This happened in 2015. The truck was a 2008-2011. I think it had higher miles, but it was MINT. I think there may have been damage to the suspension and part of the firewall structure... But the owner of the body shop said there was nothing structurally unsound about it...

 

DO NOT TEXT AND DRIVE!

This was back in November 2015 when we were still living in the old house. It was like 9pm, and I was driving home from the gym. I saw a dark blue 2009-2010 VW Passat parked in the street across from my house WAY TOO FAR from the curb. I was going like 20 MPH, saw the Passat, and thought to myself "Somebody's gonna hit that car." I turned left into my driveway, got out of my truck, and was gathering my things from the truck when, well... I did not actually see what happened, but the sound I heard, a BMW hitting a parked Volkswagen at about 40-45 MPH, sounded more like an explosion than a car accident!

I wish I'd been I'd bet my life savings on the mere prediction that somebody was going to hit the Passat, because like two minutes after that thought crossed my mind, that is exactly what happened!



The victim was a roughly 5-year old base model VW Passat. The Passat had about $9K-$10K in damage and was totaled:


The other car was a 2013 BMW 5-series. The BMW had like $18K in damage and was FIXED:

 

LONG STORY:

I pulled into my driveway, and I was getting ready to lock up the truck and head inside, when I heard what sounded more like an explosion than a motor vehicle accident. My parents were in the family room at the rear of the house watching TV with the surround sound on, and all they heard was a faint "BANG!" They knew it wasn't part of the show, but had no idea it was right in front of their house.

I spun around and saw that the BMW had plowed right into the back of the Passat. Keep in mind that it was November, and it was cold outside. I was wearing a T-shirt and gym shorts! But as soon as I saw what had happened, pure adrenaline took over...

I bolted across the street to the BMW, opened the driver's door, and found a disoriented 30-something Asian guy with earbuds in his ears (first clue) behind the wheel. Luckily he had been wearing his seatbelt, but coming to a rather abrupt stop from more than 40 MPH and getting a face full of airbag had definitely stunned him.

I was like "Dude! Dude! Are you alright?" He didn't speak the best English but was able to tell me he was okay and make it clear that he was not seriously injured. However, he was so stunned from the accident that he thought I had been in the car he hit! The steering wheel airbag, side curtain airbags, and knee airbags (didn't even know such a thing existed at the time) went off, and the airbags had steamed up the windows so much that he couldn't see out.

When the BMW's airbags deployed, one of BMW's emergency centers was notified and an actual living human woman came over the Bluetooth asking if the owner was alright and if he needed an ambulance. While the still-dazed driver talked with the BMW Assist lady, I called my parents, told them what happened, and said they might want to come outside.

The Passat had been parked in front of my one neighbor's house, so that's the first door I banged on. My neighbor was divorced and shared custody of the kids with his ex-wife. Both had separate houses. The woman who answered, who I'd never met before, was the French immigrant nanny hired to watch the kids by the ex-wife. I asked if she had a blue Volkswagen. She said yes, and when I told her what had happened, her English was bad that she initially thought I was trying to tell her that I'd hit her car! I explained to her that I did not hit the car, and that I lived across the street. She then called the ex-wife (my neighbor; the husband who owned the house, was working late). Right before the whole department showed up, my parents came out. It was a slow weeknight in a small town with little activity, so as soon as that call came in, pretty much every cop on duty that night (at least 3; maybe 4) was there within 5 minutes. Then, the wife hopped in her car and drove out to her ex's house... Nobody had been in the Passat and nobody was injured, so she was pretty chill.

French citizens with a valid driver's license from France can exchange it for a Pennsylvania license without having to take ANY tests (Same for Germany; PA has reciprocity with those two countries), so she got a Pennsylvania license and my neighbor's ex bought her a basic used Passat to get around and take the kids places. When I say basic, I don't mean it had nothing. It had automatic, A/C, power windows, and a CD player and all that shit, but it wasn't a loaded Passat with a sunroof, leather seats, an upgraded stereo, a backup camera, or any of that stuff...

The nanny and the kids were in the family room watching TV too and didn't hear the crash at all...

The driver of the BMW said that the steering in his car had just failed for no reason and he'd suddenly lost control of the car. If this had been the case, I think he would have made some attempt to brake. I never once heard the telltale sound of the brakes being applied. He literally drove right into the back of a parked car going almost double the posted neighborhood speed limit without even stopping, probably because he was texting or in some way messing with his phone...

The driver had a valid Pennsylvania driver's license and really good insurance, and I don't think admitted any wrongdoing. The cops didn't cite him, and were even nice enough to call a flatbed from the local BMW dealer to tow the car to that dealer's collision center. Passat was hauled away a short time later.

 

I got drunk at age 19 and burned the wheat fields of an ole broad that looked like Judge Judy. She was a little out of shape, but still looked good in tight fittin jeans. I later vomited on her carpet, got up and bounced. I don't look at them as liver spots anymore, it's patina.

 

@shakerhood

To this day, my boss regularly sends me on supply runs to the local Acme supermarket. Back in late 2015-early 2016, there was apparently a credit card fraud/identity theft epidemic at this specific Acme location. They had not yet switched to the "chip" card reader system, so this was their solution, and it was about as warmly regarded as a tax audit on Christmas Eve...



Carding someone at Best Buy when they attempt to buy a $200 camera, a $400 game console, an $800 laptop, or a $1,500 TV is one thing. However, a lot of supermarket customers (like me) are younger people doing the grocery shopping for their parents, with their parents' credit card. HINT: A typical grocery bill for my parents and me is less than $100 but WAYYY more than $50. I have permission from my dad to use his credit card for grocery shopping. My boss regularly sent me to Acme with her credit and I made purchased of $100+ without a problem. I told her about this new policy early on and she started sending me to Acme me with cash whenever possible. If she knew the bill would be particularly high, she gave me a business check. Since almost everyone at this Acme knew who I was and where I worked, I had no problem using a check from my employer (They carded me the first time I used a business check and never did again).

One day on the way home from I picked up some stuff for my mom and the total cam to like $51 and change. I went into "Sob Story" mode and told the truth. I was shopping for my parents, I didn't have my own credit card, and swore on my life that I had permission to use my dad's credit card. The cashier believed me and listened to her instincts instead of going by the book. Everybody was happier.

I guarantee you that one reason Acme abruptly ended this policy is at least partially because a lot of kids doing the shopping for their entire family with mom or dad's credit card, and got into arguments with cashiers when they got to the register with well over $50 worth of groceries only to be told they couldn't complete the transaction because the name on their ID didn't match the name on the credit card (even if they had the same last name)!

Then, you have anybody using their own credit or debit card, who has NEVER been carded at any grocery store. Again, arguments probably ensued, and within a matter of weeks Acme nixed this policy. Luckily, they started using chip readers so this isn't a problem anyway...