Driving pet peeves

Dickwad owners of high-performance cars who see you driving a high-performance car and assume you want to race, or are intent on demonstrating their car's superiority...

This happened back in 2005-2006, not long after my dad bought his 2003 Honda S2000. I was no older than 17, but probably 16. It was a warm night, and my dad and I were out for a drive with the top down. Obviously my dad was driving and I was in the shotgun seat...

This dark-colored 1999-2004 Mustang Cobra was in front of us at a red light, and both my dad and the Mustang get onto the on-ramp for Route 611. Totally unprovoked, the asshat in the Mustang just buries the gas pedal and roasts his rear tires all the way onto 611. Not only were we forced to smell the burnt rubber for what seemed like an eternity because we were in a convertible with the top down, but it was warm out so we had the A/C on, and the smell was being blown into our faces by the air-conditioner.

Even worse than the smell was the fact that this Mustang's tire-squealing completely disrupted a father-son moment by drowning not only the music on S2000's radio but the conversation I was having with my dad.

As soon as this asshole merged onto 611, he dumped the clutch, took off, and disappeared into the night...

My dad was obeying the speed limit, by the way...

Where's a cop when you actually want one?

 

Owners of full-size American trucks (typically diesel) who hate Tacomas (and all "import" trucks), can't keep their mouths (or their engines) quiet, and insist on harassing the random guy in the Tacoma just because he's driving a Tacoma! True story...

One time in 2015 I was driving home from dropping off my friend (who doesn't have a driver's license yet) after a night at the movies. It was at least midnight, and I was on 611 again. I end up next to a red 1994-1997 Dodge Ram 2500 regular cab 4x4, a rather beat up example with the Cummins 12V under the hood.

It was a nice night, so I had the windows down and the A/C on, and I was listening to the "House of Hair" on 93.3 WMMR if I remember correctly. The red Dodge is on my left, and they've got a flashy head unit too. Even though their windows are rolled up and tinted, I can see the head unit. There at least 2 guys, probably 3, in this Dodge. The driver starts revving the engine, and I'm thinking "If you roll coal through my open window, I am going to follow you and call the cops on you." The stereo in this Ram is cranking, but I can hear laughter inside the truck. He continues to rev his engine, and then when the light turns green he buries the accelerator. Luckily, the coal rolling was minimal to nonexistent and didn't go through my open window.

He pulls this shit at the next traffic light too before he gives up and disappears into the night...

 

I saw someone cut me off going north bound, they were turning left , while cutting off the other person southbound almost getting T-boned in the process. then didnt even have the decency to get up to the 60mph speed limit...maybe 40mph at the greatest.

 

Plastic "SLOW DOWN" turtles!


I think these things are good under most circumstances, like when people put them in the grass at the edge of their yards to let passing drivers know their kids are outplaying and may dash out into the street without thinking...

However, in my neighborhood (and in the surrounding area), parents will block the street with them so their kids can play hockey or ride bikes or do whatever...

One time, my neighbor left one of them out in the middle of the road by mistake, and when I got home from work late that night I had to practically scrape the curb with my left tires to pass the damn thing without hitting it!

 

Without a doubt, slow traffic in the fast/passing (left) lane. They say that Columbus, Ohio is one of the most intelligent cities in the US, well, they all must work 3rd shift, because all the folks I drive to/from work are complete morons!

 

My biggest pet peeve when driving is when people drive on my blind spot, sometimes I speed up and they speed up to. Gets on my nerves.

 

Bicycle riders...

Note that I said bicycle riders instead of cyclists...

In my opinion there is a HUGE difference...

I hate getting stuck behind cyclists on the road, but I've never had a problem with one. The wear highly-visible clothing, they ride as close to shoulder as possible, and most importantly if an accident does happen they are wearing helmets...

Bicycle riders, on the other hand, tend to be total idiots who seem to have a deathwish. Shitheads like this are one of the many reasons why a dashcam is a good investment.

The typical hobby/professional cyclist has a car or truck and thus a valid license. Even the cyclists who prefer to ride a bike instead of drive their car are courteous. Bicycle riders are almost always unable to drive for various reasons. The adult bicycle riders either have a medical/mental condition that prevents them from driving and/or obtaining a driver's license, or they've gotten too many DUIs, and their license has been either permanently revoked or they've just given up on trying to get their driving privileges back. The rest are kids who are too young to drive, or teens and young adults in their early 20s who are able to get a license but haven't yet.

To begin with, these two-wheel road hazards do not wear helmets, and they are often listening to music through earbuds while riding. Another favorite activity of the typical bicycle rider is smoking a cigarette while riding. They also like to ride while wearing a huge camping-style backpack, or with their bike dangerously overloaded, or both!

Just last week I witnessed a bicycle rider of the juvenile/preteen variety riding his bike between stopped traffic to his left and parked cars to his right. He was not wearing a helmet. I was stopped at a red light about three or four cars back from the intersection, and saw him in my rearview mirror coming up on my right. He came so close to falling into my Tacoma, but luckily he didn't. However, about a car-length in front of me, this kid loses his balance and falls into a parked RAV4, to his right. He does not actually fall off the bike, and just rides off like nothing happened. The RAV4 did not seem to have any noticeable damage, but if that had been my vehicle, I would have flipped the hell out.

The stereotypical bicycle rider is not a kid however. Most of them fall into the category of "transient/drifter/homeless" person, over the age of 45, with no driver's license for whatever reason.

 

Anytime I encounter one of the local yee yees (read as fake country folk) with their squatted, clapped out trucks and their HIDs are AIMED UP in addition to already inducing glare from halogen housings.

It's an epidemic.

 

The overweight preteen variety? Dude you sound like an idiot..

 

Random strangers who think I'm running a nonprofit taxi service with my Tacoma:

One of these. Some nights he shows up at the bar where I work and buys a drink or two. On one extremely cold day I was at work (sometime between December 2016 and February 2017), and I'd just gotten something out of my truck. This guy rides up on his bike, smoking a cigarette, and hangs his bike up on a nearby bicycle rack. He was wearing a heavy leather/suede jacket and and had a backpack, and he stank like tobacco. He walks up to me and asks if I would mind giving him a ride to the nearby McDonald's. Keep in mind I'd met this guy once or twice before, and I did not know him. Even if I did know him, I wouldn't let his dirty ass inside my truck smelling the way he did. I didn't want to be an asshole, so I told him I was running low on gas, and he bought it and walked off. I don't get why he didn't just ride his bike to Mickey D's.

 

Alright, I'll change it...

 

Yeah he sounds like a spot lizard..

I will admit though, I love pedaling past bunch of cars lined up at a stoplight. Then when I get to the front I can sprint out in front of all the cars and they have to pass me one by one (over and over again) until we get to the next light!

 

The other guy I encountered wasn't on a bike but rather was a hitchhiker. I was stuck in traffic on Route 611 right on the Doylestown/Warrington border. I see this guy walking along the right shoulder and I swear to Christ he had his arm extended and his thumb up. I'm think to myself "Is this guy actually hitchhiking?" He briefly lowers his arm but raises it again, and then we make eye contact and he raises his arm and thumb again and starts approaching my truck. I forget whether or not I had the windows down, but this guy just assumed I was okay to give him a ride and headed for my truck. Traffic starts moving and I floor it...

 

Spot lizard? Is that related to a lot lizard?

 

Haha! Back when I was skating alot that was what we called people and kids who hung out at skate spots and skate parks but never skated.. they were always trying to bum smokes and just get in way.. yes they were often the overweight preteen variety.. ghetto chicks who look like they had been wearing the same stained yoga pants for a week (lol)!

 

When you work at a bar like I do, drunk people are a fact of life.

One time I was heading back to the bar with a truck bed full of ice, and I was already stressed out and pissed off. I made a right turn down the alley, and there's a whole cluster of drunks just moseying along in the middle of the alley. I start beeping the horn, and one of these shitheads looks me right in the eye and starts beating on the hood of my Tacoma. I slam on the brakes, and by this time he is behind the truck. I open the door and just bellow at him "DON'T TOUCH MY FUCKING TRUCK!" He yells back something, I flip him off from behind the rear slider, and he reciprocates by flipping me off right back.

 

Sounds like he got the message..

 

And then the vast majority of drunk people I encounter are so drunk that to them, a 3,100-pound Tacoma with it's headlights on, must look look like another drunk staring them down and looking for a fight. When I come up on clusters of drunk people in public thoroughfares, it starts out as a "deer in the headlights" situation. Back in the early days of working as a barback, I would just beep the horn. To most sober people, beeping the horn to tell them to move or warn them that you are there is like saying "Fuck your mother." Obviously I stopped beeping at drunks unless I'm worried about hitting them. I've done everything from revving the engine to cranking the stereo and it either pisses them off or does nothing...

 

So in the spirit of staying on topic here's what I don't like while driving.

People who go 50 in the fast lane. you get on their ass, they finally get over, after you go by they decide that they want to do 65 so they ride your ass. It's like why are you interested in doing 65 all of a sudden? Go back to doing 50 (in the slow lane) and leave me the fuc alone!

 

I'd also like to point out that I was much bigger than the guy who pounded on the hood of my truck, and he probably did not realize this until I threw my door open and partially stepped out of the truck... I don't know if you were being sarcastic or not...