Norcal Spotted and BS Thread

T4RFTMFW · Apr 20, 2017

Trikster said: ↑

Similar experience, very different ending.

Wife and I were trying to conceive. Wasn't going well and we did tests to see if either one of us had an issue. (Turned out my wife had a thyroid issue, her body was rejecting the fertilized eggs).

The night before I was to give a sample, I slipped getting into the shower and crushed my junk. Purple and swollen and I was in a shit ton of pain. Appointment was a hard one to get, so I kept it.

Now, earlier in the day of the sample appointment, I went and saw a different doctor to make sure things weren't broken. The doctor was not someone I had seen before and I couldn't tell if the Asian name was a guy or girl. Considering the subject matter, assumed a guy. Nurse came in, took my vitals, reminded me of one of my aunts. Told her how I hurt myself and that I had a erection going on for 5 hours by then. Shit hurt too much to do anything, but couldn't because of the count test later in the day.

Nurse leaves after telling me to disrobe from the waist down. 15 minutes go by and the doctor shows up. I feel like I am on an episode of Punk'd as the doctor looks like an Asian porn star. Her skirt was barely long enough to cover her ass (which was spectacular btw) standing. She plopped down on her rolling stool and has me stand up so she could look me stuff over.

Now, I'm a red blooded man with a very dirty mind and even though the exam hurt enough that it made my eyes water and I wanted to die, I'm still standing up, beyond rock hard, with my junk within inches of this hot as hell Asian porn star of a doctor! She is so damn close that I can feel her breathing on my balls. All the while her hands are all over my shit, like a starving hooker wanting to get that extra $50...the ultrasound and warm gel, tingly buzz, and her...all I could do to not make a mess.

She then says something to the affect of having a blocked vein and I would need to massage it out to relieve pressure. I told her about the appointment I had for a count later and that I wasn't sure if I could do it because of the pain. I also expressed concern that I would be back after the count test with another painful hard on that wouldn't go away. She agreed with my concerns and asked if I could reschedul my other appointment. Been on the books for three months...no way.

She thinks for a second, sticks her head out the door to ask for something. Plops back on the stool and whirls it around and slides over to the computer. I know know she is wearing butt-floss, white lace, and how nicely she groomed herself. I'm sweating a bit, mind is full of naughty things, still naked from the waist down, and have the erection from hell now throbbing like mad. Nurse wheels in a tray with a cup (urine sample cup) and one of those paper things you get at the dentist so you don't get crap on your clothes and leaves with a genuine look of, "It will be okay, so sorry that you are hurting." Thanks aunty, always were my favorite.

Dr. Porn wheels herself and the tray over to me, giving me another fine look at her bits, and pulls the robe off my lap. Here I am thinking she is going to be cool and show me some trick to releasing the pressure, collecting my sample, and not killing my self because of the pain. The teenager part of my brain was like, "Since we're already here, why not just do me a solid..."

She did the most excruciating solid I have ever experienced. EVER! It wasn't fun. Her nice delicate touch turned into veteran meat packer as she drove her thumb into the blockage and opened it up. When that happened, I was searching the room for something to kill myself with and praying to God that I would be a good man forever if this would just stop. She then grabbed the cup and gave an unsuspecting squeeze and a poke and my sample "came" forth. Don't know what the fuck she did, but there was no joy or anything remotely fun in this experience. I'm thinking that monks have the right idea about celebate life. She comments that even though there is blood in the sample, the count can still happen. She did the ultrasound again and found no more blocks and everything was pumping properly. Had me clean up and dress.

While I sat there waiting for her to finish, I can't take any joy in what she is showing me. In fact, it was making me mad. (Wonderful side shot of her ass and legs...enough to make a gay man rethink his life). She wrote me a script for Percocet and 800mg Motrin and says that I don't need to keep the later appointment as she already forwarded the sample to the lab. Turns out she was the doctor on call for my later appointment. I mumble my thanks and hobble out. I make it to my car as my wife pulls in for her appointment. She looked at me like WTF happened and I give the bare minimum of what happened. Tell her that I was going to go home and OD on my new drugs. She gives a concerned laugh tells me she will check on me after her tests.

I sat in my car for a few minutes, reflecting on what I must have done in this life or the previous to incur this level of evil karma. I Google the doctor just to make sure this wasn't a sick joke... Real doctor and she appears to have a rep of doing exams with the subtleties of a jackhammer operator. She apparently has a habit of dressing like she did with me and being alone with patients. Didn't know that was actually against the hospital policy.

Worst day ever.
Click to expand...

What the fuck did I just read.

CalTacoma09 · Apr 20, 2017

Gply said: ↑

He's actually got another name but I called him Jim to protect his identity.
Click to expand...

Little jimmy?

Fernando · Apr 20, 2017

Thanks gentlemen

jAndyMendo · Apr 20, 2017

https://twitter.com/wyomingpd/status/854999335049859072/photo/1

SCRunner12 · Apr 20, 2017

jAndyMendo said: ↑

https://twitter.com/wyomingpd/status/854999335049859072/photo/1
Click to expand...

That's awesome.

bayareataco · Apr 20, 2017

I know my neighbor's got aweosme taste but damn he's unfriendly! Dude never so much as waves to me.

DannyBFresco · Apr 20, 2017

bayareataco said: ↑

I know my neighbor's got aweosme taste but damn he's unfriendly! Dude never so much as waves to me.

Click to expand...

He's jelly

jAndyMendo · Apr 20, 2017

Trikster said: ↑

Similar experience, very different ending.

Wife and I were trying to conceive. Wasn't going well and we did tests to see if either one of us had an issue. (Turned out my wife had a thyroid issue, her body was rejecting the fertilized eggs).

The night before I was to give a sample, I slipped getting into the shower and crushed my junk. Purple and swollen and I was in a shit ton of pain. Appointment was a hard one to get, so I kept it.

Now, earlier in the day of the sample appointment, I went and saw a different doctor to make sure things weren't broken. The doctor was not someone I had seen before and I couldn't tell if the Asian name was a guy or girl. Considering the subject matter, assumed a guy. Nurse came in, took my vitals, reminded me of one of my aunts. Told her how I hurt myself and that I had a erection going on for 5 hours by then. Shit hurt too much to do anything, but couldn't because of the count test later in the day.

Nurse leaves after telling me to disrobe from the waist down. 15 minutes go by and the doctor shows up. I feel like I am on an episode of Punk'd as the doctor looks like an Asian porn star. Her skirt was barely long enough to cover her ass (which was spectacular btw) standing. She plopped down on her rolling stool and has me stand up so she could look me stuff over.

Now, I'm a red blooded man with a very dirty mind and even though the exam hurt enough that it made my eyes water and I wanted to die, I'm still standing up, beyond rock hard, with my junk within inches of this hot as hell Asian porn star of a doctor! She is so damn close that I can feel her breathing on my balls. All the while her hands are all over my shit, like a starving hooker wanting to get that extra $50...the ultrasound and warm gel, tingly buzz, and her...all I could do to not make a mess.

She then says something to the affect of having a blocked vein and I would need to massage it out to relieve pressure. I told her about the appointment I had for a count later and that I wasn't sure if I could do it because of the pain. I also expressed concern that I would be back after the count test with another painful hard on that wouldn't go away. She agreed with my concerns and asked if I could reschedul my other appointment. Been on the books for three months...no way.

She thinks for a second, sticks her head out the door to ask for something. Plops back on the stool and whirls it around and slides over to the computer. I know know she is wearing butt-floss, white lace, and how nicely she groomed herself. I'm sweating a bit, mind is full of naughty things, still naked from the waist down, and have the erection from hell now throbbing like mad. Nurse wheels in a tray with a cup (urine sample cup) and one of those paper things you get at the dentist so you don't get crap on your clothes and leaves with a genuine look of, "It will be okay, so sorry that you are hurting." Thanks aunty, always were my favorite.

Dr. Porn wheels herself and the tray over to me, giving me another fine look at her bits, and pulls the robe off my lap. Here I am thinking she is going to be cool and show me some trick to releasing the pressure, collecting my sample, and not killing my self because of the pain. The teenager part of my brain was like, "Since we're already here, why not just do me a solid..."

She did the most excruciating solid I have ever experienced. EVER! It wasn't fun. Her nice delicate touch turned into veteran meat packer as she drove her thumb into the blockage and opened it up. When that happened, I was searching the room for something to kill myself with and praying to God that I would be a good man forever if this would just stop. She then grabbed the cup and gave an unsuspecting squeeze and a poke and my sample "came" forth. Don't know what the fuck she did, but there was no joy or anything remotely fun in this experience. I'm thinking that monks have the right idea about celebate life. She comments that even though there is blood in the sample, the count can still happen. She did the ultrasound again and found no more blocks and everything was pumping properly. Had me clean up and dress.

While I sat there waiting for her to finish, I can't take any joy in what she is showing me. In fact, it was making me mad. (Wonderful side shot of her ass and legs...enough to make a gay man rethink his life). She wrote me a script for Percocet and 800mg Motrin and says that I don't need to keep the later appointment as she already forwarded the sample to the lab. Turns out she was the doctor on call for my later appointment. I mumble my thanks and hobble out. I make it to my car as my wife pulls in for her appointment. She looked at me like WTF happened and I give the bare minimum of what happened. Tell her that I was going to go home and OD on my new drugs. She gives a concerned laugh tells me she will check on me after her tests.

I sat in my car for a few minutes, reflecting on what I must have done in this life or the previous to incur this level of evil karma. I Google the doctor just to make sure this wasn't a sick joke... Real doctor and she appears to have a rep of doing exams with the subtleties of a jackhammer operator. She apparently has a habit of dressing like she did with me and being alone with patients. Didn't know that was actually against the hospital policy.

Worst day ever.
Click to expand...

every part of me wants to switch doctors now

SCRunner12 · Apr 20, 2017

Trikster said: ↑

Similar experience, very different ending.

Wife and I were trying to conceive. Wasn't going well and we did tests to see if either one of us had an issue. (Turned out my wife had a thyroid issue, her body was rejecting the fertilized eggs).

The night before I was to give a sample, I slipped getting into the shower and crushed my junk. Purple and swollen and I was in a shit ton of pain. Appointment was a hard one to get, so I kept it.

Now, earlier in the day of the sample appointment, I went and saw a different doctor to make sure things weren't broken. The doctor was not someone I had seen before and I couldn't tell if the Asian name was a guy or girl. Considering the subject matter, assumed a guy. Nurse came in, took my vitals, reminded me of one of my aunts. Told her how I hurt myself and that I had a erection going on for 5 hours by then. Shit hurt too much to do anything, but couldn't because of the count test later in the day.

Nurse leaves after telling me to disrobe from the waist down. 15 minutes go by and the doctor shows up. I feel like I am on an episode of Punk'd as the doctor looks like an Asian porn star. Her skirt was barely long enough to cover her ass (which was spectacular btw) standing. She plopped down on her rolling stool and has me stand up so she could look me stuff over.

Now, I'm a red blooded man with a very dirty mind and even though the exam hurt enough that it made my eyes water and I wanted to die, I'm still standing up, beyond rock hard, with my junk within inches of this hot as hell Asian porn star of a doctor! She is so damn close that I can feel her breathing on my balls. All the while her hands are all over my shit, like a starving hooker wanting to get that extra $50...the ultrasound and warm gel, tingly buzz, and her...all I could do to not make a mess.

She then says something to the affect of having a blocked vein and I would need to massage it out to relieve pressure. I told her about the appointment I had for a count later and that I wasn't sure if I could do it because of the pain. I also expressed concern that I would be back after the count test with another painful hard on that wouldn't go away. She agreed with my concerns and asked if I could reschedul my other appointment. Been on the books for three months...no way.

She thinks for a second, sticks her head out the door to ask for something. Plops back on the stool and whirls it around and slides over to the computer. I know know she is wearing butt-floss, white lace, and how nicely she groomed herself. I'm sweating a bit, mind is full of naughty things, still naked from the waist down, and have the erection from hell now throbbing like mad. Nurse wheels in a tray with a cup (urine sample cup) and one of those paper things you get at the dentist so you don't get crap on your clothes and leaves with a genuine look of, "It will be okay, so sorry that you are hurting." Thanks aunty, always were my favorite.

Dr. Porn wheels herself and the tray over to me, giving me another fine look at her bits, and pulls the robe off my lap. Here I am thinking she is going to be cool and show me some trick to releasing the pressure, collecting my sample, and not killing my self because of the pain. The teenager part of my brain was like, "Since we're already here, why not just do me a solid..."

She did the most excruciating solid I have ever experienced. EVER! It wasn't fun. Her nice delicate touch turned into veteran meat packer as she drove her thumb into the blockage and opened it up. When that happened, I was searching the room for something to kill myself with and praying to God that I would be a good man forever if this would just stop. She then grabbed the cup and gave an unsuspecting squeeze and a poke and my sample "came" forth. Don't know what the fuck she did, but there was no joy or anything remotely fun in this experience. I'm thinking that monks have the right idea about celebate life. She comments that even though there is blood in the sample, the count can still happen. She did the ultrasound again and found no more blocks and everything was pumping properly. Had me clean up and dress.

While I sat there waiting for her to finish, I can't take any joy in what she is showing me. In fact, it was making me mad. (Wonderful side shot of her ass and legs...enough to make a gay man rethink his life). She wrote me a script for Percocet and 800mg Motrin and says that I don't need to keep the later appointment as she already forwarded the sample to the lab. Turns out she was the doctor on call for my later appointment. I mumble my thanks and hobble out. I make it to my car as my wife pulls in for her appointment. She looked at me like WTF happened and I give the bare minimum of what happened. Tell her that I was going to go home and OD on my new drugs. She gives a concerned laugh tells me she will check on me after her tests.

I sat in my car for a few minutes, reflecting on what I must have done in this life or the previous to incur this level of evil karma. I Google the doctor just to make sure this wasn't a sick joke... Real doctor and she appears to have a rep of doing exams with the subtleties of a jackhammer operator. She apparently has a habit of dressing like she did with me and being alone with patients. Didn't know that was actually against the hospital policy.

Worst day ever.
Click to expand...

So from a medical standpoint and to avoid such lumberjack handling, what is this doctors name....

Tee Arghhhhhh Dee · Apr 20, 2017

T4RFTMFW said: ↑

What the fuck did I just read.
Click to expand...

Good 'ole smut.

smokey_yota · Apr 20, 2017

Who is this?! got some kind of bed liner on the whole rig. Spotted at the BWW in concord while I was dropping Beth off for work. Holy hell.

Don5352 · Apr 20, 2017

jqueener said: ↑

you guys a different kind of weird.lol
also you lucky bastards got warm gel when you got an ultra sound. Fuck, a few yrs back I had a pain in my right nut, that sucked the life right out of me. It wasn't the sex story these two lucky fucks had. went and saw my doc, he quickly scheduled the ultra sound and had concerns it might be cancer or a blockage. so i went straight there. good looking nurse, she comes in and says sorry this is going to be cold. as the cold gel did feel good as she rubbed it all around the boys i was no were near standing tall.The fear of cancer down under had me in a dark place. One of the best calls I got from the doc was a few hrs later saying im all clear no cancer, and recommended i massage it gently and prescribed me antibiotics as he thinks its an infection. How the fuck do you get an infection inside your nut sack? I have no clue, but it fucking sucks.
Click to expand...

I had the same feeling. Doc scheduled an ultra sound. I was stressed. Got into the room. Did as told. Freaking cold in there. Shrinkage. Then cold gel. Bad enough I'm hung like a Bull Hamster. And no luck for Don. It was a dude.

grdgz97 · Apr 20, 2017

Gply said: ↑

Yeah but its some pretty good reading material while doing your morning duties
Click to expand...

Or afternoon.

Don5352 · Apr 20, 2017

bayareataco said: ↑

I know my neighbor's got aweosme taste but damn he's unfriendly! Dude never so much as waves to me.

Click to expand...

Fuck that guy, then.

BudMan · Apr 20, 2017

@Fernando if you buy one locker you get the smallest compressor (

$250 cksa12 air locker accessories

cksa12). Can run both lockers but can't fill tires. Buy two lockers you get the single compressor that can run both lockers and fill tires (

$350 ckma12 on-board air compressor high performance 12 volt for air locker differentials and tire inflation

ckma12). No matter how many lockers you buy, it Won't come with the dual compressor that can also run tank/air tools (ckta12)

I knew those part numbers off the top of my head #idiotsavant

Mademan925 · Apr 20, 2017

duncnasty said: ↑

Who is this?! got some kind of bed liner on the whole rig. Spotted at the BWW in concord while I was dropping Beth off for work. Holy hell.
Click to expand...

That's @Tac0maSteve 's friend

smokey_yota · Apr 20, 2017

Mademan925 said: ↑

That's @Tac0maSteve 's friend
Click to expand...

It's a nice fucking truck. I want to know what liner he has on there. Looked good

SCRunner12 · Apr 20, 2017

Any audio gurus? So my stock JBL stereo stopped working all of a sudden yesterday. The deck works great but there is no sound playing at all. I hit a branch pretty hard with my antenna, could that have knocked a wire loose or something?

kalieaire · Apr 20, 2017

http://xjubier.free.fr/en/site_pages/solar_eclipses/TSE_2017_GoogleMapFull.html

Looks like good times in Oregon this August.

LTDSC · Apr 20, 2017

SCRunner12 said: ↑

Any audio gurus? So my stock JBL stereo stopped working all of a sudden yesterday. The deck works great but there is no sound playing at all. I hit a branch pretty hard with my antenna, could that have knocked a wire loose or something?
Click to expand...

if it doesnt work on any source IE: radio, ipod, pandora. then the amp shit the bed and it had nothing to do with the antenna unless some freak grounding out incident happened.

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Norcal Spotted and BS Thread

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Don5352 Liberty or Death

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BudMan knee scooters R us

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Mademan925 Senor Taco

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kalieaire i didn't know they stacked sht that high.*

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LTDSC 32oz of fun

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Norcal Spotted and BS Thread

#86721 T4RFTMFW Well-Known Member

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#86725 SCRunner12 Tundra Troll

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#86728 jAndyMendo i eat samiches

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#86734 Don5352 Liberty or Death

#86735 BudMan knee scooters R us

#86736 Mademan925 Senor Taco

#86737 smokey_yota #FNGFTMFL

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Products Discussed in Entire Site Forum: Northern California Thread: Norcal Spotted and BS Thread

#86721
T4RFTMFW Well-Known Member

#86722
CalTacoma09 Well-Known Member

#86723
Fernando Hammerdown

#86724
jAndyMendo i eat samiches

#86725
SCRunner12 Tundra Troll

#86726
bayareataco Well-Known Member

#86727
DannyBFresco King Taco

#86728
jAndyMendo i eat samiches

#86729
SCRunner12 Tundra Troll

#86730
Tee Arghhhhhh Dee is typing...

#86731
smokey_yota #FNGFTMFL

#86732
Don5352 Liberty or Death

#86733
grdgz97 Well-Known Member

#86734
Don5352 Liberty or Death

#86735
BudMan knee scooters R us

#86736
Mademan925 Senor Taco

#86737
smokey_yota #FNGFTMFL

#86738
SCRunner12 Tundra Troll

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kalieaire i didn't know they stacked sht that high.*

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LTDSC 32oz of fun

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