New England B.S. Thread

yessss i fully support making people think you're crazy

 

Daymn, nice hoops!

 

I live in NH, so I just pull my shirt up a tad to reveal my sidearm before opening the door. Gets the point across.

 

Never got anyone going door to door where I grew up. Too rural, I think. But, I'd get people all the time when I lived in a more neighborhood setting.

I'm hoping that where I am now is just rural enough so nobody shows up again. There are also some houses on the road that you probably wouldn't want to knock on the door of, so that may help. One guy must have 20 big old tractors lined up along his driveway rusting away.

 

One time I made the service manager crawl on the ground under my 4Runner to show him that no one had even knocked the mud off the alignment bolts. They tried to pull the same "frozen" shit.

 

What you do in this case is invite them in for some Netflix and chill, to show them how their industry is dying due to the internet, and watching Netflix with a member of the opposite gender gets you the laids.

Step 5. Get laid.
Step 6. Profit.

 

Then you flip the script and tell them that you're an orgasm provider. Motion to your manhood and explain the different tiers of service available.

Or do what my friend does... Excuse yourself, then come back to the door completely naked. Works well from what he says, except with the gays, but SUPER effective on mormons!

 

Ouch. I bet she cried. Or punched someone

 

Nope.

 

I thought it was amazing!

Felicia is a hoe!

 

I don't think @scottalot was asking [how can I get arrested and have to register everywhere I go?] he was asking how to get rid of door to door people?

 

Do what I do. Tell them the owners of the house died sometime back and that I'm just squatting until the utilities are turned off. I do the same thing when sales people call on the phone looking for me. Or if they mangle my name or my wife's name, just tell them "no one here by that name" and hang up.

 

You have to register to solicit in our town and get a permit, consequently no one does

 

Let me guess. Longmeadow?

 

i was really proud of myself for not crying or throwing up. i did feel sick though hahahaha

 

Nope, Hopkinton

 

That's not the type of registering I was talking about.

 

Nah, it's all the same. You can legally be naked in your house. It's your property, and you aren't out in public nude.

Let's take @ABA180 for example. He does his naked cannon balls into the pool. He's in his backyard. As long as it isn't visible from the street, he's free to do so.

 

WTF?!

I noticed today that I'm quoted in three different people's Sigs, that I'm aware of. Nothing I say can really be that noteworthy; it's all just sarcasm and bad jokes.

 

I quoted your camping just the tip quote, but I don't wanna get rid of the safe running or @64Wildcat's fucktard