PennSilverTaco's "Perfect 5-Lug Regular Cab" Build, Aspergers, and General BS MegaThread!

@Plain Jane Taco

The "Beyoncé" incident...

Keep reading to see how it got that name...

This was sometime in the summer of 2016, though I'm not exactly sure when. It was after my cousin got married (July 9th, 2016), but well before the presidential election (November 8th, 2016). I think it was in August...

My cousin had just gotten married, and she came out to visit one Thursday (her husband was away on business). I'd been bugging her for months to come to a "Drinking Night" with me and my coworkers. My boss used to call this "Date Night," even though she was the only one among us who was actually dating at time, and thus the only one who had a date. The reason we go out on Thursdays is because it's the most active night of the week before the weekend; Basically, the bars are not busy. All the locals enjoy this because they can meet up and chat without being overwhelmed by obnoxious drunks.

My parents drove my cousin, who is four months younger than me, and me, to the bar where I work. My boss and her boyfriend came back after a dinner date, and we ended up helping my boss set up the upstairs bar for a private party the following day. Me, my cousin, my boss, and my boss's boyfriend all ended up going over to a nearby Irish bar that me and all of my coworkers frequent. One of the bouncers on duty that night was this 20-something guy named Mike, who's a former Marine. My cousin and I had been there earlier that night and gotten carded since Mike was a newer hire who didn't know me as well as the other bouncers did. Mike knew my boss and her boyfriend, and he knew my cousin and I were of age since he'd carded us earlier, so he let us all in. We took grabbed a cluster of seats at the corner of the bar closest to the entrance, right near the jukebox and not far from where the bouncer was standing.

My boss and her boyfriend treated us, and I had at least three beers and a shot on them that night (probably more). My cousin and my boss bonded that night, talking about the stuff girls like to talk about. They talked about my cousin's wedding, and embarrassing shit their significant others did. My boss ended up sharing a hilarious picture of her boyfriend from the previous December, when he'd gone to a friend's Christmas party wearing this loud green Christmas suit. He'd gotten absolutely hammered, yet somehow managed to get on the train and make it home from the city. My boss had taken a picture of him standing in her living room (barely able to stand), totally hammered, with this dumbfounded look on his face. My cousin started laughing, and she told my boss about her job as a school psychologist, and how growing up with me (I have Asperger's Syndrome in case you didn't know) inspired her to get a job that would allow her to help kids like me. They talked about me as well. Like I said, they bonded.

THE GOOD PARTS:
My boss's boyfriend bought me a beer (99% sure it was an Angry Orchard), and I chugged the damn thing in a matter of minutes. He's like "Holy shit, did you finish that already?!?!" I'm like "Uh, yeah?" He then turns to my boss and says "Honey, Charlie's making me doubt my drinking skills right now." My boss looks at me and then at her boyfriend and says "The difference between you and Charlie, is that Charlie knows when to stop drinking. You don't..."

Another beer was purchased for me, and I took it slower.

At some point, my boss bumped into some friends and started chatting with them. I happened to look at one point, and I saw this guy I'd never seen before practically forcing himself on my boss. He's putting his arm around her shoulder, and then he makes like he's going to kiss her on the lips. Obviously, I can't see my own face, but from what my boss later told me, the look on my face probably looked borderline homicidal. My boss's boyfriend was chatting with someone he knew, and thus facing the other direction. My boss is a very pretty Asian-American woman who is about 4 months older than me. She is also one of my closest friends. You bet your ass I'd protect her if I needed to...

All sorts of thoughts are going through my head, including:

"Who the fuck are you, and why are you getting all handsy with my friend?"
"You do realize she has two large guys with her, one of whom is her boyfriend, right?"
"Why the hell isn't her boyfriend seeing this?"
"How the hell isn't her boyfriend seeing this?"
"Where's the bouncer and why isn't he seeing this?"
"Should I just deck this guy and say I was protecting my female friend?"
"Seriously! Where's the fucking bouncer?"

I got this angry look on my face, as my boss would later tell me, and I'm pretty sure I was clenching my fists. Just when I was about to go over there and confront the guy, Mike the bouncer comes running up...

Mike's like "You gotta go. You gotta go." He grabs the guy by the front of his shirt and they're facing each other, and the guy throws up his hands in surrender. Mike just pushes him right out the exit door and goes back to his post at the main entrance like nothing even happened. This seemed to take an eternity, but it was only like a minute or two. My boss sees I'm still in an anger-induced daze and says "It's alright, Charlie. It's handled." Or something like that...

The rest of the night was about as uneventful as an unusually busy Thursday night at an Irish-themed watering hole could be. Eventually, I called an Uber which I split with my cousin, and we said goodbye to my boss and her boyfriend. On the way out, I shook hands with Mike the former Marine/bouncer and basically thanked him for taking out the trash, and he said "Not a problem." All in a night's work for him...

THE RIDE HOME:
Our Uber that night was a guy in a 2008 Acura TL (the last of the real TLs in my opinion, before Acura ruined them). Usually, I ride in the front, especially if it's a smaller car. However, my cousin was with me so we both rode in the back. The majority of ride home that night consisted of me talking cars with our driver, with my cousin chiming in occasionally. We also talked about the other "usual shit"...

You know... What my cousin and I both did for a living, what he (the driver) did for a living outside of Uber, what I drove, what my cousin drove, the time I got hit by a drunk driver in my truck followed by showing the driver the picture of my truck the day after the accident...

My cousin at one point asked the guy how much he made as an Uber driver, and we got into a good conversation about that...

THE AFTERMATH:
The next day at work, the previous night's event was the hot topic of the day. As soon as I walked in, my boss asked me to tell one of our female bartenders about the incident from my point of view. I was all too happy to do so...

I told everyone how this random asshole had been getting touchy-feely with my boss, how I was about to kick his ass, and how, for lack of a better term, the bouncer had come out of nowhere and give him the "Patrick Swayze/Roadhouse treatment. My boss started laughing and said that she'd felt like a celebrity, specifically Beyoncé. We still laugh about that incident to this day...

 

So her boyfriend would be "Jay-Z"?

Remember....it's former Marine not ex Marine. Once a Marine....always a Marine.

 

I don't really have too many drinking stories. I do have one that involved a very drunk friend and a massage parlor. But I best not share that one.

I love Corona. I was introduced to it by accident in 1987 at 19 years old. I had helped a friend shovel his elderly neighbor's driveway after a snow storm. The old guy paid us by stepping out and sticking 2 'Ronas in the snow. First time I'd ever had that horse piss. Been drinking it ever since

 

Answer me this at least...

Was it an Asian massage parlor?

 

I don't think Corona is bad at all, but I don't think it's great. I don't pay for it myself, but if it's offered to me, I will drink it. One thing you learn working in the bar business is that any free alcohol is good alcohol.

 

Yep

 

I knew it!

 

~12 years ago I was at a party in Cali with my buds from Labusas.org (bike forum). I got hammered, and then some. The next morning as everyone was coming out of one stage of coma or another I started to come into consciousness. (As I was told) I came out of the sleeper we had parked out front of the party house and started walking around the front yard making circles, like a dog does when he's looking for a place to do his business. I made a half dozen circles, dropped to my knees and puked my brains out. Evidently my chosen spot was in front of a neighbors house, half on the curb, half in the street and I unloaded in the gutter.

A buddy of mine got hammered at another party and passed out. He woke up some time in the night, pissed in the hall closet (next to the bathroom) and drove home. The next morning, the hosts found all of his clothes piled up and the host's wife had a hot pink, feathery scarf in the closet that was missing. Evidently, that's what he decided to put on and drive home with.

 

Your friend from the second story is lucky the night didn't end with a DUI.

 

That one time I got shocked by a powerline at 3am trying to break into my house while living in Nicaragua. Not sure what I was thinking while on the tin roof, giving the steel rope that separated me and the bedroom balcony a quick tap to see if it was electrified. ZAP!!!

Not one of my brightest moments.

Never bothered to lock that balcony door after that night. Figured no-one could break in that way.

 

The bar where I work has these stairway lights, and one of them went out a few weeks ago. Today I had some spare time and I changed the bulb.



Turns out the CFL bulb in there wasn't actually burned out. It just had an electrical problem of some sort and actually came back on briefly when I started to unscrew it. I tried to make it come back on, but couldn't...



These are low-wattage Edison-style lightbulbs intended more for decorative use, but they were all I had available at the time...



This is what we normally use the Edison bulbs for...



And I properly disposed of the CFL bulb too...

 

This is what my clock-in slip looks like...

 

Didn't work very long today...

 

Not as bright as the rest, but it'll do!

 

That first picture is great, the angle threw me off, had to reorient myself to see the staircase, great angle for the shot.

 

So came across this post and realized what you were talking about on the bezel. I didn't realize it until I looked at it closely. Surprised but one corner wasn't snapped in place. Can't believe I didn't see that!

 

Love your avatar! Brings back fond memories of my childhood!

STUPID DOG!

 

Yeah I used to watch that crazy show with my kids...was always a fav.

 

Eustace should have had a Tacoma!