New England B.S. Thread

I'll take a pic of me trying not to eat shit in the parking lot

 

Happy birfday @BigMacMcCoy

I'm out for the afternoon. Need to pick up the snowblower at the shop and finish shopping. Gotta go to Legacy Place to return some things. That's going to be...terrible.

Hopefully I don't get too jammed by the weather.

 

I look like an idiot, everyone here is dressed like we're on Everest

 

Hey..... don't be dissing linglongs I got through all of henniker in my first gen on those deathtraps.

 

The new future clunker:

 

That's one clean truck

 

It’s perfect if anyone asks you just say your used to it. And tell them to New England the fuck up. Pretend you did it on purpose.

 

too shiny and too clean lol

 

So shiny I can almost see your looks of disappointment in the reflection

 

It's funny the difference between guys and girls in what comes to mind as getting 'new shoes'.

 

Those look uncomfortable.

 

A few years ago a friend and I were on our way to Harbor Freight when his daughter called. She was on speaker phone and asked "What's Harbor Freight?". I quickly chimed in "It's like going to Payless Shoes but for boys." On the other end I heard: "Ooohhhhh"

 

Got the light bars hooked up on the Chevy.

 

goes well with that front plate...

 

So last night was horrible! As some of you have seen already, one of my secret santa presents is being returned because some of its contents are prohibited by the state of Hawaii. As I'm trying to figure out what's going on with my order my daughter (who were potty training) comes in without a diaper on. I totally dismiss it and figure I'll put one on her in a little bit when I am done with this. A few minutes later she walks in crying and pointing to her foot and it looks like blood running down it (bad lighting) then she points to the other one and that looks like it has blood running down it too. I stand up and ask her what she did and she says she pooped - she pooped in the living room.

WHAT!

Yup she pooped in the living room and walked upstairs to me to tell me!

 

Yeah, doesn't sound like an ideal Thursday night!

I was reading through the thread about the lobsters earlier, that really sucks. And I'm assuming the lobsters will be dead by the time they make their way back to you in a rather smelly box.

 

OH SHIT! Literally! On both things...

I saw about your TWSS thing... WOW. Kinda weird, but OK... such is the government.

The diaper thing... yeah, I have similar stories... I'll share mine since you shared yours. Bit of a book, so here goes.

It was within my son's first year of life. He was on antibiotics... it just had snowed... I was outside cleaning my driveway with my blower, and my father in law was using his truck with the plow. He's clearing the "bottom" of the drive way, by the garages, I was clearing the "stretch" since it's fairly narrow. Here I am, stopped, since my FIL is backing up a bit. In my head I'm thinking he sees me, he sees me in his side and rear view. As he gets closer, I start to question that, and next thing I knew, BOOM! He backup up kinda hard into the blower and sent my flying. During this, my wife is looking out the window to make sure I was OK, with my son in her arms, WITHOUT A DIAPER.

FIL comes running out of the truck saying he didn't see me. I'm like, WHAT THE FUCK?! YOU DIDN'T SEE ME?? I WAS RIGHT THERE! YOU DON'T USE YOUR MIRRORS TO BACK UP, KNOWING I WAS BACK HERE??

Meanwhile, inside the house, the dog is hanging around the wife... remember how i said my son was on antibiotics?? Well, for those that have little ones, you know that some meds totally FUCK UP their stomach at that age, and it's nothing but diarrhea. Well, my son had an "accident" on the dogs head, and floor... yeah... ALL OVER the dog. And the "best part" is that the dog was licking it off the floor. WOW.

So yeah... that's my story about pooping on the floor. Hope you enjoyed it!

 

Yeah you need to eat them right away. I had arranged it through Alex @emelianenkov so they knew dinner was coming but not what it was. I had to let the cat out of the bag when it all went to hell though!

 

Yep - never having kids ever.