A Visit from El Gringo Bandito

Twas the night before Christmas, and what I say is true,
Not a creature was posting, not even @23Skidoo.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that @tcBob soon would be there.

The moderators were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Tundras and Subarus danced in their heads.

And Mama in her 'nightie, and I in my drawers
Had just settled ourselves in for some fun “grown-up chores.”

When out in the driveway there arose such a clatter,
I sprang up from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the garage I slid ‘cross the floor,
Stubbed my toe on the sofa, and I cursed and I swore.

The aura from Christmas lights made the street glow
Like the neon signs outside a good Vegas show.

When, what to my tired bloodshot eyes should appear,
But an ‘85 Toyota 4x4 with 4.88 gears

And a smooth brother driving that beast like it was his job,
I knew in a moment it must be our own @tcBob.

He wasn’t alone - there were 8 likewise trucks,
All lifted and muddy and covered with mucks.

“Now @sean266, now @98tacoma27, now @chris4x4, now @mjb2,
Now @JimBeam, now @jberry813, now @jhodge83, now @MTgirl!

"To the top of the hill! To the top of the mall!
"Now crawl away! Crawl away! Crawl away all!"

The rubber painted streaks on the street as will do,
Coopers and Falkens and of course Kbro2s.

Off in a flash they tore off back down the street,
I had to snag my key-fob to go join in on this meet.

I barely got pants on and jumped in the truck,
While the misses waved goodbye and wished me good luck.

I caught up to them quickly thanks to my trusty Gen3
(I ignored all the haters like Smitty and BlueT).

I saw them all gathered in a dark wooded lot,
Drinking beer round a fire that blazed nice and hot.

Their truck beds were full of all kinds of great things,
Bumpers, tents, headlights, and extra leaf springs.

Their eyes—how they twinkled, their faces—full of cheer,
Their coolers all overflowing with many kinds of great beer.

I saw him standing alone in old jeans and a jacket,
Beaming with pride at his moderator’s racket.

A bunch of white stickers he had in his hand,
With a list of addresses to where they should land.

He waved me come over and gave me a beer,
Some new IPA made in just God-knows-where.

He slipped me some of those stickers on the down-low,
And said “Give these out to all the members you know.”

I was proud to be considered a trusted sticker-hauler,
And stashed them in the back of my big, blue mall-crawler.

I then shook his hand and we finished our beer,
And I fondly though that “@ChadsPride should be here.”

Bob then checked his phone to check in on updated word,
From his TWSS elves making sure all gifts were delivered.

With a snap of his fingers and quick nod of his nose,
The fire went out, cans were recycled, and trasharoos closed.

They all sprung to their trucks, their horns they all blared,
Their engines all roared and their light bars all glared.

And I heard him exclaim, as they drove out of sight‍—‌
“Merry Christmas Tee Dubya, and to all a good night!”

 

...

 

I did not know what a literary site TW is.Great job.

 

Excellent!

 

in!

 

FTFY

 

Fantastic!!! Job!!!

 

I really tried to work Chad in there somewhere but thy rhyme just wasn’t with it. I might have to sneak a stanza in there anyway.

Not too long.

 

Added a line for Chad on request.

 

Bravo!

 

Nice!

 

Yes

 

Perfect!!

 

Awesome!

 

I believe it's called "WAXING ELOQUENT". Loved it!