Married to work?

I’m currently in a project management / supervisory role for a consulting company, which is what’s killing me.

There’s so much importance on keeping projects on schedule or dealing with calls from my less experienced coworkers when things go sideways. And after hours calls from customers.

At first I thought a less technical job would be the easiest way to avoid constant connection.

A government job might be the ticket to a more balanced work/personal life....My wife passes her patients off to the next shift, leaves work, and has about a little chance of hearing from anyone until she shows up for her next nursing shift.

 

You can't really compare IT or PM to the medical field, even if it's government or not. Majority of medical facilities will have personnel on shift 24-7.

 

I should also mention that all jobs have stress. I have lots of stress only because I've worked my way up to an IT Director that ultimately catches the heat or gets my name in the paper when sh!t hits the fan. My hours aren't bad in the government but the responsibility to the taxpayers and services we provide to the public are extremely important and stressful. We all need to learn to not take it personally when stuff doesn't go perfect. You need to feel good that you are doing your best. Everyone in the company or agency will push you as much as possible to get the most work for the least cost. That's the way it works.

Good luck to you in making these hard life decisions.

 

Fuck that. I take my laptop on vaca but never check email or jump on calls unless it is a real deal. Knock on wood only one vaca have i really needed tp do anything. Couple of calls here and there, but not more than a minute or two

 

I’m in the process of trying to change my job situation. I’m currently working 7 days a week and most weeks averaging 60+ hrs and I’m “salary”. The stress is insane at my current job with people constantly blowing up and fussing, not to mention the several bosses that sit around doing nothing other than fussing when your work isn’t done. I haven’t had a vacation in a few years and we lose our vacation each year, GF and I are trying to plan a date for a wedding and since I’m the only person in my dept it’s nearly impossible to be gone more than a couple days without everything going to total heck. The worst part is the pay isn’t that great either, a few people and the overall type of work is the only thing that’s kept me there for so long. A week ago I was offered/told about a job which starts at least $4-6 an hr more than current job and would also pay over time unlike now. Had my interview yesterday and now just waiting to hear back, manager said if he gets his way with hr and his bosses the job is mine

 

There seems to be a theme here and that is called overtime. I don't mind working overtime here and there. but when I hit forty hours my supervisor knows he's outta-time. I have little desire to work overtime. My lifestyle doesn't depend on overtime and never will.

 

This x10

 

Sometimes it just takes a conversation over a cup of coffee....I sat down with the ownership and we agreed that after hours calls come with the job, but I need to stop obsessing over details and delegate more work to people and stop rescuing them when they make mistakes.

Life has been pretty good so far.

 

This seems like the perfect place for one of those “I make $2700 an hour just by posting stuff on google all day from home” spam posts

Anyway, Bill hit the nail on the head. Sounds like this advice comes from a lot of wisdom and experience. Good luck OP - it’s a tough balance in today’s world.

 

Speaking for those of us who aren't married to work, we make fun of and have pity for those of you who are. Not, saying it's right, but we do. In the last 10 years I have worked less than 40hrs of OT. If I didn't need the money, I'd never be at work. There's a reason they have to pay me to be there. I certainly never take phone calls from work when I'm off the clock.

Nobody at works truly gives a crap about your dedication to the job. When you leave, they will replace you and life will go on like you were never there.

 

Yes, that is an important management skill, one I was never able to master, lol.

Sounds like you are headed in the right direction.

Make it work!

Cheers

 

95 percent true we are all replaciable that what my drill sgt told us along with jody got you girl and gone... kinda teary eyed just thinkin about it... haha good luck chuck and I hope you make a sound logical decession and move on with your bad self.

 

truth...anyone that thinks that they are not replaceable needs to realize this...

 

There's certainly a limit but my day job definitely finds a way to sneak into everything. I think that's what happens when you get really good. Even if you don't like your job you're proud you're good at it. I think most people who are good at their jobs think about it; the two seem to go hand in hand. I don't know if I hate or love my job but I know I'm a freakin' wizard at it, and a total asset since it's (unfortunately) primarily women back there who know nothing about tech at all. I transferred from another location, I hated it so much it would sneak into my dreams and my husband would have to wake me up because I was grinding my teeth so hard. But I still obsessed. My boss treated me so bad it became a joke back there between us ladies, at my expense but you laugh or you cry so lol. They'd constantly call me in. I worked long and shitty hours to cover for people who threw me under the bus to tickle my boss' peach. I thought my husband was going to club me for it all lol, but I'm not a quitter, and my new location is training me to be a lead. I don't want to stay in the industry, I get paid absolute shite, but work is one of the main things I'll always think about.
Personally, vacations and anniversaries and whatever wouldn't stop me from keeping contact with work if needed, but most people have a different mindset. It all depends on what you're passionate about I guess. I'm definitely at work more than I see my husband but if it came down to quit your job or get a divorce I'd definitely quit, so I'd say as long as you can say the same, you definitely aren't married to your career haha.
Also about that replacability thing; I don't think the same is true for all careers. Both locations I've worked it takes about 20 new hires to find 1 that isn't... awful. There's always someone to do grunt work, and if you're talking about a career that requires a college degree, there's always someone else out there with a degree eagerly awaiting a good job opening. When you make hardly any money, retain information very well and quickly in a stressful environment and actually give a damn... It's impressive. We keep about 15 people staffed. We probably loose 15-20 a year, no matter if they've been there a while or it's just the flavor of the week who quits because it's too hard or whatever. So that means about once a year or two we find someone we actually like... and hope they don't leave for a hospital vs retail position... which usually happens lol. We find ourselves missing good technicians a lot.

 

If you truly love your job more than anything, maybe keeping on is the right move. I believe the point of life is to maximize happiness. We need money to maximize happiness, which is why most people work. However, if you don't absolutely love your job, you are wasting your life working the extra 15-20 hours a week for a more money. This is especially true as a dual income no kid household.

One of the most admirable professional decisions I have ever seen someone make (not that I have been around terribly long) was turning down any more promotions. He was happy with the money he made and wasn't willing to spend more of his life in order to make more money. That was a guy that got it.

But if you absolutely love your job more than anything else, hey, throw as much time as you want at it, you are maximizing your happiness.