Momma always said...

ha ha ha LMFAO...

 

My favorite motherly advice/sayings

"To each his own."

"Wherever you go, there you are."

 

My dad used to say if I'm not well enough to go to school then I'm not well enough to go hang out with friends. His rules kinda stopped when I turned 18 though.

 

"You do good work, just not enough of it." - This after I had finished putting up a fence around our back yard. Also heard after digging 5' under the edge of the patio and installing a house jack underneath.

"If you pick up the pace, I'll double your pay." - This while I was putting up the fence, for which I wasn't getting paid

"Be whatever you want to be, just do your best at whatever you do."

 

Oh, i just remembered another one. This really helps whenever I feel like quiting. My mom really hates quiters for whatever reason. When I quit my first job she was furious. I'm not sure why, i guess i aught to ask. Anyways here it is.

"I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it"

She's really religious and I think she got this from her bible or something.

 

Walking ain't crowded

 

I dont get it?

 

"Treat others the way you want to be treated" I was a shit head when I was little, always getting into something!

 

"If you play with fire you will wet the bed"

Its not true

 

its always easier to ask for forgiveness than for permission

 

That is odd. My grandmother used to tell us that too, and here I thought it was a Filipino thing.

 

The way I heard it was "You could break an anvil with a rubber mallet". Might be easier to understand, and many poor mechanics have heard it.

 

Not from a mom, of course, but an old man commenting on a braless jogger: "Looks like two bobcats in a burlap bag..."

Same man, same jogger:"If I had a swing like that I'd keep it in my backyard..."

 

"threeeee.... TWOOO............. CHRIS GET OVER HERE."

"So where's your report card" <- Stomach always dropped from that one.

 

"Do you want me to punch you in the face?"
"GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!!!"
"The principle called me today again..."

And my favorite was when she caught me cutting school and then said when I got home, "How was your day at school Honey?" Which then I lied my ass off, then I got the first quote again! I love that woman!

 

Im diggin your name. Linwood Melvin Mosley THE Third..

 

"Shut the hell up, dumb ass"
"What did I get myself into with you?"
and my personal favorite...
"Guess they were right about drinking about pregnancy"

 

Damn your guys's moms are t0ugh!