New England B.S. Thread

Very sad. Tell your wife I'm sorry to hear about that

 

Phew... and I thought I was having a bad week. Sorry to hear Jason.

 

Will do!

Thanks

 

I'm sorry to hear that.

 

So sorry to hear about that. Please give your wife my condolences and to you also.

 

Thanks peeps! soo back to truck stuff, what's everyone up to. Not sure my wheels will be mounted by Saturday since I won't have time during the week to go to Sullivan and I don't think my guy is going to give me a time since he has been working two shops and basically around the clock.

 

I think everyone in here should post a joke for the day.. it’s rainy and crap out so it’ll brighten it up a bit. Nothings off limits lol. Here’s mine:

Two guys walk past a dog who’s licking its balls, one guy says “man I wish I could do that!” The other guy replies “maybe you should try petting him first”

 

Two French/Polish/whatever guys were reshingling a house and one of them kept throwing nails over his shoulder. His friend sees him doing this and asks him if there's something wrong with the nails. His friend responds that they're backwards; the pointy end is facing the wrong way. His friends slaps him on the back of the head and says 'You idiot, those are the nails for the other side of the roof!'

 

A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London to the US.

After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him.

The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips."

The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me, too, I didn't know we had a choice."

 

Three couples are trying to get married at the same church. There is a young couple, a middle-aged couple, and an elderly couple. The three couples meet with the priest and discuss when they can get married.
"If you wish to get married in my church, you must all go one month without having sex," says the priest.
One month later the three couples return to the church and talk to the priest. He then asks the elderly couple, "Have you completed the month with sex?"
"Yes we have, at our age it was easy," replies the elderly couple.
"How about you?" He asks the middle-aged couple.
"It was tough, but we managed not to have sex for the whole month," they respond.
"And how about you two?" He asks the young couple.
"No we couldn't do it," responds the boyfriend.
"Tell me why," says the priest.
"Well my girlfriend had a can of soup in her hand and she accidentally dropped it. She bent over to pick it up and that's when it happened."
The priest then tells them, "Well, I'm afraid you're not welcome in my church."
"Yeah, we're not welcome in the supermarket either," says the boyfriend.

 

That's about all I've got

 

Why don't witches wear panties?

Better grip on the broom stick.

 

That one could be debatable...

 

what did cinderella do when she got to the ball?

she gagged

 

how do you know if you walked into a gay bar or straight bar?

simple, just look to see if the bar stools are right side up, or upside down

 

when they like your jokes, but dont post their own.... not to bring up any names.... @tacobell007

 

Oddly enough, that's actually where the whole broom thing came from...Putting hallucinogenic substances on the broom stick and then grinding on it to absorb it through the easiest means of mucous membrane absorption.
https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2013/10/why-do-witches-ride-brooms-nsfw/281037/