Driving pet peeves

You shouldn't let anyone take advantage. Always defend yourself from dicks.

 

I'm talking about knocking his ass out if he swung on me...

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. At this point in my life getting into a metaphorical pissing contest with a dick isn't worth it. If they attack me, however, they'll be seeing the inside of an ambulance.

 

And that pun was not intended!

 

Yeah, if he swings, SWING BACK.

 

I was drinking at a bar with my boss, her then-boyfriend (now ex), and my cousin. This bar was right around the corner from the bar where I work, and everybody including the bouncers knew and loved us. I saw this guy getting a bit too touchy-feely with my female boss (and trying to kiss her), and I was about to kick his ass. Luckily, one of the bouncers (a former Marine) got to him before I did and threw him out (without hurting him)!

 

Was he drunk, or an over confident asshole?

 

@El Duderino

If you had been in that scenario and an accident occurred, would you have cussed the guy out? I've had two accidents that weren't my fault, one in March 2015 where I was rear-ended by a texting driver ($1,200 in damage), and one in October 2015 where I was a sideswiped by a drunk driver ($2,200 in damage). I was also involved in an incident where a woman opened her passenger door without looking and guillotined my left mirror off. I F-bombed the at-fault party in all three situations, and feel bad for doing so in two of the three (the one where I don't regret anything is the drunk guy; He's lucky I didn't knock his teeth out).

 

Hard to tell...

All I saw was a guy I didn't know violating my boss's personal space, and not only were his hands getting too close to her breasts, but he was also trying to kiss her...

 

@ALI3N_123

Also keep in mind that I'd had at least 4 beers at that point, so my judgment wasn't the best. I will ALWAYS come to the aid of friends, especially the women (and the ones who are intellectually disabled, regardless of gender), if I believe they are in danger. Add a few beers and possibly a shot of whiskey to the equation, and well...

 

DRUNK BAR FIGHT!!!!!!!!

 

And you should If needed

 

@ALI3N_123
@El Duderino
@Jamesboy2233
@Plain Jane Taco

People who use a public road for anything other than it's intended purpose!

One time, presumably between 2012 and 2014, I had just come home relatively late at night. This was when we lived in Furlong. I had just turned onto my street and there was a woman in a Lexus RX in front of me. There was another woman driving in the opposite direction. Keep in mind that we lived in a neighborhood of something like 386 townhomes and condos from 2007 to 2016, so I did not get to know everyone who lived there. However, these two women obviously knew each other and stopped right there to chat. I don't remember where the hell I was coming from or whether or not I was in a bad mood, but I just wasn't having it. I was tired, I was just a few hundred feet away from my house, and I wanted to get home.

The women were only stopped for a few seconds before I just laid on the horn. The women moved with no protest and I continued home...

Do not come between me and the following things:

1. My family.
2. My home.
3. My Tacoma.
4. My paycheck.
5. My Breakfast, lunch, or dinner.
6. My Bedtime.

The woman in the Lexus came between items 2, 5, and 6, and she got the horn...

 

Milk and cookies before bed?

 

Nah...

Only at Christmas...

 

Anger management ftw.

 

You didn't get rear-ended by a texting driver and a sideswiped by a drunk driver in the span of 7 months!

 

@ALI3N_123
@El Duderino
@Jamesboy2233

Gotta love it when people decide to look at their phone or do their makeup at a red light, and then the light turns green, and they throw their hands up at you in frustration when you beep at them for not moving.

 

@ALI3N_123
@El Duderino
@Gr8fl
@Jamesboy2233

My favorite example of someone raging at me when they were clearly in the wrong, aside from the limp-dick in the Suburban a couple weeks ago, would be the twatwaffle in the red 2nd Gen Taco back in like 2016 or 2017...

He thought it would be a good idea to make a left turn across two lanes of traffic into an apartment complex, in front of me. I had to slam on my brakes, and I also blasted the horn. Mr. Red Taco flipped me off...

So yeah, owner of red 2nd Gen double cab Taco who may or may not live at the Apartments at Newpointe on Route 611 in Warrington, I still think you're an asshole!

 

@ALI3N_123
@El Duderino
@Jamesboy2233

There is one thing in parking lots that may actually be worse than people who don't pay attention when backing up...

People who can clearly see that you are backing up and decide to go behind your vehicle anyway! I saw a common bicyclus moronicus ride behind a Ford Taurus that was backing up and almost get splattered! One time probably 4-5 years ago, I almost backed over my idiot neighbor who decided to run behind my truck with his Yorkshire Terrier while I was backing up.

In the almost eight years since I got my license, I can proudly say that the only living thing I've hit and killed with a vehicle is a bird, and I would like to keep it that way!

 

@ALI3N_123
@El Duderino
@Jamesboy2233

And, of course, people who just blindly reverse out of a parking space. This happened back in March 2013 or so, when I was still in college...

I had just gotten out of class and was driving through the parking lot on my way off campus, in what was at the time a 3-year old Taco with less than 30K on the clock. I hadn't even installed the first stereo system at the time! This kid in a late 90s Ford Escort sedan just blindly reverses out of his parking space and almost nails my truck dead-center in the driver's door. I laid on the horn, and the twatwaffle hits the brakes. He then looked at me with this stupid "I'm sorry, dude" smile on his face, and I responded with my best "You're lucky you didn't hit my truck or else I'd be kicking your ass" look.