Sobriety.... One year later... Please Read.

I started this thread 5 years ago today. I'm very happy that so many people have looked at it and even posted. I'm still sober and much happier. I hope that this thread has helped a few people in the process. Life is too short to rely on a substance to take you out of real life.

 

I’m still sober. Today is exactly one year.

 

Awesome brother! Keep up the good work. It gets easier over time I can promise you that.

 

My dad has 26 years bro. If he can do it anyone can do it. Congratulations one day at a time.

 

Thanks fellas,
I can’t believe I’m doing it, but I am somehow. My life is much better and I’m pretty damn excited. As lame as it sounds, I still enjoy the pat on the back! Thanks again guys.

 

Anybody who willingly goes against the odds and continues their sobriety deserves that pat on the back.

 

Hells bells man!! I read yur post years ago and am thrilled ya stuck with it friend ! As well as all the other members on here who’ve takin the steps into there life !! Lovin it guys !!Just made 12 yrs clean myself back in sept ,, a life beyond imagination!! All the promises and so much more !!

 

It's absolutely fantastic to see folks who (and not singlehandedly) wrangled there life back.
You folks remind me of somethin I might have forgot. Shine on, all of you, shine on!

 

2 years, 4 months today. Every day a gift

 

Awesome my friend. Keep up the good work. You're right... every day is a gift when you can see clearly.

 

This has made me stronger and more aware of these evils and has kept me in check.......

 

Something we all need

 

I was on a bad road drugs/alcohol for a long time and I am so thankful I had some AWESOME friends and will power.....

 

Yup... same thing here. I imagine you read my original post when I started this thread (and probably a lot of other posts since then) and I was in the same place. If it weren't for my family and sheer willpower I wouldn't be here right now. There is a road out of this. It's not easy but once you come out the other side you gain some perspective of how you actually got to the place you got yourself into.

 

Amen Brother!

The perspective you gain from something that cant be explained sometimes but it is to turn hardship into a strength for that road out but some find it and some don't......

 

I shouldn't have lived to see 30. I'm 45 so 15 years of bonus time

 

OH MY,TW just keeps gettin better & better,I just saw off topic discussion and had to click on it.
More ,trustworthy,honest,compassionate real people who, like myself have been to hell and back.Glad your all here!I returned from a life of HELL just 9yrs.1mo.& 8 days ago & glad to be back.
One grateful recovering alcoholic named STEVE.

 

It takes a strong guy to realize that he has a problem and to do something about it. It takes an even bigger guy to tell everyone on the Internet the whole story, including the worst parts of your life, for the benefit of others. I have a lot of respect for anyone who is able to get out of that rut and turn their life around, not just for themselves, but their family. I can appreciate that.

I can already relate to some of what you posted, having had a few bad calls involving children and a firefighter's death that I will think about for a long time, and I'm only 21 years old. But I would not trade this job and the experiences and friends it has brought me.

If you are having a problem dealing with something, just ask for help. The fire service, as well as the other emergency services, is full of people who will help you if you ask them. I'm sure this thread will help many who've seen things they never want to see again. Thanks for posting and I hope anyone who needs help talks to someone or contacts their department's employee support group before turning to alcohol and drugs.

P.S., Congrats to the OP for sticking with it 5 years later!

 

Thanks brother! I hope you have a great career in the Fire Service as it is one of the most rewarding jobs that I personally know of. I graduated college with a business degree and used my degree for about eight months. A buddy of mine talked me into taking the FD test and I remember asking "why would I want to do that?" "I've got a great job that pays well and I have my own company car?" Then he said to me "Because you work one day and you're off two". That sounded pretty cool at the time. Little did I know at the time I needed some direction in my life as I had no structure in my life. I did what I wanted when I wanted. So I took the test and came out #3 on the list and got the call a few months later. Turns out it was the best decision I ever made.

The FD is a paramilitary organization so you have to follow a strict set of rules and a chain of command which I wasn't used too but in the end it was exactly what I needed. It more or less made a man out of me. Being 22 years old you can't wait for the bell to hit. That's not to say that you want something bad to happen to anyone. But it is going to happen so if it does I wanted to be on duty so I could help. And lets just face it... there is nothing more exciting than running into a place that everyone is running out of.

But that comes with a downside that I didn't realize at the time. I came on the job when our city had the worst murder rate in the entire country. HBO made a documentary in the early 90's called "Banging in Little Rock" and I was featured twice in that film. We were averaging 5-8 (sometimes more) drive by shootings each shift. I vividly remember working a guy that had been shot in the street and we had him on the stretcher loading him in the ambulance. This guy walks up and asks "is he going to make it?" I told him "I think so". He then proceeded to pull out a 9mm and shot him 4 times in the chest right in front of me and casually said "now he won't". During that time it was like a war zone in the city. I remember taking cover on the other side of the truck many times while a shootout was going on while we were on scene. It's just the way it was back then.

I didn't realize that I was suppressing all of those thoughts at the time. I didn't realize that I was suppressing all those runs throughout my entire career until I had that one run that hit home and opened up that compartment that I had kept all of those thoughts. That compartment varies in size from person to person and mine was able to hold about 19 years worth of runs. But that's when it got full and the dam broke. It's a truly strange feeling going from being fine one day to being as depressed as you possibly can the next. You really can't put into words what that feels like. So as the rest of the story goes... I self medicated.

If you've read the rest of this thread then you know how well that turned out. But in the end, it made me a better person overall. If I can get through it then anyone can. I was at the lowest point that a human can get and with the help of others I was able to pull myself out of that hole. Had it not been for the help of my family, I don't think I'd be here right now. So I owe them everything.

 

Yeah I'm sure I will never see someone walk up and shoot a person that's on my stretcher, or have to worry about regular gunfights while running calls. I live and work in northern California so it's a pretty safe area compared to some of the more incorporated areas. I guess eventually they're going to be giving us bulletproof vests to wear on medical aids, though. I'm glad I'm not working in an area with that kind of stuff going on daily. It would still be nice if we were allowed to have some form of self protection on us though since we do go into some sketchy areas at times. We aren't even allowed to have pepper spray at the station.