Advice for a long healthy marriage

12 years in and making it. If you have been married a long time ( 20, 30, 40 years), what is your advice?

 

26 years:

1 she’s probably right
2 even if she’s wrong, do you really care
3 if you do, is now the time
4 see step 1

 

Sharing and communication is a huge part. Any kids in the mix? Dinners at the table every night if it's possible asking about each others day.

 

Happily married 27 years, and the best advice I could give is just pick the right partner and the rest is easy.

 

I had a friend who would buy kayaks all the same color. He swore she couldn’t tell when he bought and sold one. May also work with trucks.

 

1. Dont' buy a Tacoma
2. Leave Tacomaworld

 

Every old guy I’ve ever talked to said the same thing.

“Let it go.”

 

It's never you two vs each other, always you two vs the problem.

 

You can either be right or you can be happy, pick one.

^^ advice I got from a good friend of mine that's been married 8 years, on my wedding last weekend. I'm only a week in so far so I can't comment on much from experience yet, lol.

 

33 years would put quarter in a gallon jar every time we had sex filled it up in 10 years then i thought i will take one out every time we have sex after the 10th year jar is still full but i still love the old girl

 

Congrats Man! wishing you guys the best.

 

Thanks!

 

Set the standard from the get go that you won’t play the stupid games women love. If she says she’s fine it means she is fine and will be treated as such. If she says it all ok it really means it’s ok. That list could go on for days. She isn’t always right and you don’t need to treat her like she is. She will get mad when you refuse to let her be right but will later realize she really wasn’t.

 

I take the whole "be right or be happy" to be more along the lines of 'pick your battles'...as in there will be times where you might know that you're right on something, but in the grand scheme of things is it really worth trying to argue or debate it and risk driving a wedge between the two of you?

Sort of like how in the retail industry there's that old saying "the customer is always right", even though in reality the customer can very well be wrong...in the end you're trying to look at the bigger picture and do what's best for your continued relationship/business.

 

In my past relationships (not marriages, this is my first one lol) I was very stubborn and hard-headed about a lot of things...that in hindsight I could easily have let go of or been more open-minded about, had I been more focused on the relationship and not my own need to feel like I was right and the other person was wrong. Something I definitely try and be more aware of nowadays especially going forward my marriage.

 

25 years
We make each other laugh a lot, sometimes at the stupidest things, refuse to grow up
We give each other space, don't control
Having a lot in common helps

 

8 years married and together 16. Don’t get in a rush to be married (divorced). Learn to be mad at each other and then learn how to work through it. No one needs to be taught to get along when you are happy with each other. You need to learn how to get along when one of you isn’t happy with the other and figure out how to work together until you can get back to both being happy.

Be honest about everything. Talk about everything. Talk as long as it takes to work through something and don’t sweep anything under the rug. If it’s still on your mind it is important enough to keep talking. Be willing to walk away and come back later if you still feel you need to. If it is important to your other half make it important enough to listen.

Make sure you make your other half feels like their feelings matter. Even if they are being ridiculous listen with your full attention and treat it like it is real. Then talk them through it. Let them realize they are being silly instead of you telling them they are.

In the end your choice of a mate (and their choice as well) determines your ultimate success. Looks fade but bitch is forever. Lastly always be FAIR and expect the same in return.

 

Been going thru it... Thanks for the advice fellas. Lifes rough

 

Yup - best advice ever. Been married a good long time and never once have I followed someone else's marital advice.