I need some girl help

caught me there

 

Here's some advice a girl once told me:

Sometimes girls tell us stuff for the sole purpose of telling (you know, like how they can't keep a secret). They don't necessarily want us to help them.

So if she hasn't asked for help, stop trying.

 

I agree with some of the other guys on here. Just be there to spend time with her if she wants to and dont bring it up unless she wants to talk about it. If she said theres nothing you can do, then dont try anything. I think she is just telling you cause she needs to vent. This can also be a good thing to you! With her talking to you about something so serious to her means she trusts you. My ex was also very independent and she never liked it when I paid for her either. If she wants to pay sometimes, let her. That doesnt make you less of a man at all. I think times have changed these days. I dont believe in that..."oh the man should pay for everything." If you both like each other, things should be equal and it should work more like a partnership. Good luck to you brotha!!

 

x2. i have fallen in to that damn "friend zone" on more than one occasion.

instead of sounding like a broken record.. im just gonna say, what everyone else said.

good luck man!

 

Mind your own business, be super nice and keep your eyes on the prize.

 

Agreed^

I had a girl once who was like that except it was between her step-father and real father. I wouldn't bring it up and only try to take her mind off of her situations at home. That's the best you can do for her because you don't want to get caught up in family business like that.

 

I live at the top of the hill on north mines, the only thing that is noticible on my truck is the grillcraft and my undercover

and thanks again guys I really appreciate all of the help

 

Ya this what I think it was, I talked about my parents then she talked about hers, I think she was just concentrating on not falling on her ass and cutting off the circulation the my fingers

 

you've entered the friend zone and are hopelessly stuck....tell her you'll be her 'daddy' and she'll be all good.


j/p

On a serious note, let it lay. She'll investigate it if and when she wants to.

 

Lol, that's funny. I think she is just hurt by her mother more than anything right now

 

It is normal for guys to want to 'fix' things for girls they care about in a situation like this.

It's also normal for girls to get frustrated with guys who try and 'fix' everything because that's not what they want, nor can you fix it. What they want is someone to just be there and all that it means (listening, etc.). In this area, just know that the best thing you can do is just be a good friend for her and be there and be real.

Second, regarding paying for things, I would think she's been hurt and doesn't like others helping, which in some ways shows a dependence and trust in others, which she doesn't want to do. Tell her you know she doesn't need you to pay, but that you enjoy doing things like that for her and it makes you feel good. In addition, let her pay for things occasionally when she offers... again, if she grows in her trust of you she will probably not mind as much having you pay for her.

Just don't think one big thing for her is going to change anything (I could very well backfire and push her away) - it's going to be lots of little things that accumulate over time as her trust in you grows.

 

Hey, Let her be it is not yours too worry about. My father died when I was 5 years old. my brother and I were raised by just my mother. I'm sure that I missed out on a lot not knowing or remembering Him. That is life and believe me as she grows older it won't matter much. One thing it probably will do is help her to be a much better Mother cause she knows what it's like to be left behind. Take good care of Her!

 

Be supportive but stay out of it. It's her family, let them work it out. Take her out, treat her right. That will take her mind off of it for a while.

 

Ya, iv'e still been hanging out with her and she hasn't said one thing about her it, I'm going to bring her to my hockey practice tonight and see if she wants to do anything afterwards.

I think for the paying thing it's like 60/40 me being 60

 

so i will be moving into an appartment on august 22nd in sacramento cause i will be going to sac state, it's about a 90 mile drive, not too bad, i will be coming home from time to time.

so i asked her out and she said she really liked me as well but that she has been in 4 long distance relationships and said that she couldn't do it again, that if i wasn't leaving she would say yes.
then she said that if we did go out that she wouldn't make me happy, i'm like what so u mean, she says that she has some bad qualities as a girlfriend that she has screwed up in a past relationship and that she is pretty messed up. then i say why can't i find that out for myself? and why would you say that about yourself?

then she says Tyler you have no idea how hard this is for me, it's just so many things...

we are still going to try to be friends but i think it's going to be hard for both of us to stay friends.

though love, ohh well that's what college is going to be for

 

i have been texting her and it turned out that i made her cry cause she said she really likes me but she doesn't want a replay of her last relationship.

so i say to her
"It's ok... don't beat yourself up. i just got out of high school and realized that there is much more to life to high school, you can have a chance to have a great life ahead of you, high school is ALL drama, and that's what i'm trying to do is make a better future for myself, or else i'd back out of sac state this instant to be with you. but what you need to do is get good grades in high school, try to go to college even if that means going to las positas(community college) and who knows maybe we will cross paths later and we can try again"

i really hopes she takes my advice cause she is a really nice girl and has potential if she tries, just from this i hope to stay friends with her for a while

 

Not tryin to be negative or nothin but there may be a really bad reason the mother won't talk about things.....as in maybe she wasn't a willing partner in the conception of the girl you speak of. Could be more stressful to know than to not know, ya know? Just sayin....has to be somethin crazy for her mom to be holdin out like that. Hope that's not the case tho.

 

That's how we roll .

I agree with the others, just keep her dad thing on the back burner for a while.

Tim

 

The thing that really pisses me off is that she won't give me a chance at all cause she said that she has been in 4 long distance relationships and they all didn't work out.

She told me that she had problems as a girlfriend and that's how her last relationship ended.

I'm going to try to stay friends with her but I think that there is more to it than me just leaving to sac state

 

There's only one thing you can do.... Bang her best friend.