Grab a drink and enjoy the dumpster fire flames!!

Fuck yes. Shouldve been a piano player in a whore house.

 

I have done that a couple of times...not gonna lie.

You keep count? Just don't do the gorilla goldfish possu, ah forget about it.

 

I know. I don't know what to do about it though.

 

Find a homeless guy that likes spaghetti or someone at work to trade lunches with, provide they like your wife's cooking

 

Nope. It's a national holiday and I don't have to work those. I'll be working on my girlish figure though.


Spoiler alert: I don't have a girlish figure.

 

I could try that, but the other 2 in the branch don't pack lunches. And I don't think they would be willing to buy lunch just to trade it.

So I usually do the trash and Burger King route.

 

Why? Is that a thing now? Cant get off Unless some Beethoven is playing silently in the other room?

People are so needy now days....

Just get some lotion and stfu


That's five tugs for those keeping count

 

That's somebodies fetish somewhere. Not mine, obviously.

 

You can afford lotion.... lucky duck!

 

No...

Vaseline is all I has left... done used up all the lotion

 

That aloe vera shit is expensive.

 

Cant put a price on a soft dingy

 

Boy, all ya'll rich. What happened to spit?

 

Cold sores... dont wanna spread that kinda joy...

 

Quit playin piano in that home outside LaGrange.

 

Thank your lucky stars. I’ll tug all day if given the chance. Instead I’ve got a belly dance instructor with that Big ass y’all like so much trying as hard as she can to domesticate me, and she can fuck off as far as I’m concerned. #shouldaneverlethermovein #doesnotcohabitate

Especially during holiday season. It’s like... no, I do not want to have thanksgiving dinner with your family. Because I don’t give a fuck about your family.

 

With the exception of family at Thanksgiving, I don't know what you're whining about so much.

 

No sex is free bro. It’s exhausting.

 

Like my pappy used to say.."if it flies, fucks or floats, it's cheaper to rent"