I want stories of lunatic neighbors

There is a semi-retired couple next door. We live in an unincorporated area, rural, not heavily wooded but not wide open either. Their house isn't far away, and they have cyclone fencing separating their yard. A row of red tips is between the driveways/houses and obscures the view of the house for the most part.
In the past, there have been several times at night or early in the morning where the couple have been standing in their dining area or kitchen buck assed naked. With the lights on, blinds up, full view. I honestly don't care, it's just a little odd to pull into the drive at night and there they are giving me the full show.
Well this summer, they have upped their game. As it got hotter and hotter, they started moving around their back porch, again completely naked. And again, I don't really care, it doesn't bother me. I work on my truck in the back of our house, down the drive that goes to the back pasture so everybody can still get in and out of the garage and I have a paved surface and some shade. If they want to stand around out there I don't care. And usually I'm using tools and banging stuff around so I'm not exactly quiet and escaping notice. Several times they've seen me back there.
Then at the end of the summer, I guess either they weren't happy with the reaction I wasn't giving them or if they just really needed to let their freak flag fly. I started hearing them singing to each other and kind of dancing around back there. Then they started spraying each other with the garden house while naked and dancing around. At this point I just had to start laughing.
The colder weather has driven them back inside again, but I can't wait to see what they are going to pull in the spring.

 

When I was in college I had a looner (look it up) that lived in the apartment underneath me. He had to pop his balloons to get his rocks off, so I would hear him popping balloons starting at around 1am every morning. That got old really fast. He ended up getting evicted eventually.

 

This part leaves me confused. Wondering if I don’t get the meaning of “balloons”.



a figure of speech in which a word or phrase is applied to an object or action to which it is not literally applicable.

 

Balloons. Literally. Inflatable balloons.

 

What kind of balloons?

 

Anything he could get but from what I could tell he liked the really big ones.

 

Ok, I got another one that is ongoing. Iamlooking for tacomaworld help.
When we moved to Colorado we got this apartment sight unseen. Everything was good, Mountain View, good size garage. But there was one problem, well 2 problems.
I’ve delt with my share of shitty neighbors but this guy is a little weasel. We had a shared wall with this dude and his boyfriends apartment. My wife and I both worked during the day, we usually wouldnt get home until about 8 at night after work, errands, stuff that takes time. So at the end of the day we like to relax and watch a little tv, usually ends with us passing out on the couch. But these 2 dudes have some loud ass surround sound system that they blare at maximum volume and vibrates the plates in our cupboards ( not even kidding) so my wife loses after about 2 weeks of this and bangs on the shared wall and screams turn it down. We instantly hear it go silent, both of us are relieved like thank goodness it’s over. Then we hear a knock on our door and my wife is beyond furious so she goes to answer the door ready to lose it, he starts off with don’t bang on the wall and all she says is turn your damn tv down. And she closes the door and this joker tries to open it and come inside our apartment to keep yelling. I step in ( pistol tucked in the small of my back, chambered, ready to rock) I said you and your c**ksucker boyfriend need to turn your shit down and have a little goddamn common courtesy for the rest of the people that don’t feel like listening to your shit. I said we both work full time and the couple hours we have to spend together at night are all we have. He says “I work full time too, I’m a student” I said that’s not a job ( he doesn’t work, I rarely see him leave the apartment) I slammed the door in his face again and we go to bed. We moved out of that apartment to a 2 bedroom that opened up around the corner that is way nicer and quieter. We thought the situation has ended. Wrong. Yesterday I was finishing up my motor swap and I wanted to clean the garage out, so I pull my Yamaha and Ducati out and park them in a vacant space. While I’m minding my own business I see this dipshit walking around my vehicles and taking pictures with his phone, I drop my shit and go over to confront him but his little weasel ass scurries back into his apartment. Damn. So today on my way home from work I get a call from the office claiming I can’t park my Yamaha in a space so I say I just moved it there for 20 min while I cleaned my garage and I know it was that gay guy that is trying to start shit. And they confirmed it was him that indeed complained. Help Tacomaworld. I need some good ideas for revenge.

 

Lifes too short, move on

 

Nah, fuck this guy

 

Call the cops on him for disturbing the peace.

 

Buy him a teacup poodle for Valentines Day.

 

Tell him you saw his boyfriend out with another man lmao

 

Have sex with his boyfriend.

 

Well this went weird quickly...

 

Prob not a good Idea to ask for revenge stuff on an open forum...

 

I think you may have to pitch one for the other team to bury the rooster hatchet

 

Billy's alot of fun, she's a hot date, take her out, blow coke up her nose and feed her some acid at the same time. It's a night you won't forget. Zoom zoom.

 

Reminds me of my favorite quote:

Snort blow, hit it raw, run guns, and the law. - Dr. Seuss

 

Banana in his tailpipe?