I want stories of lunatic neighbors

I had a neighbor lady call me and ask me to stop putting dog poop in her garbage bin. Not only am I a consensus dog owner and always pick after my dog, but I even pick up after other dogs & dog owners that don't pick up after there own dogs. To give you an idea where I live; I live in a town house association of 36 owners, 6 rows. I live on the end of my row, right near the alley in the middle row. I can see multiple people walking there dogs down our alley. This lady lives on the end of the block. This is not a private alley. She called me because I think I was the only phone number she had, and because I was on the board at the time. I told her this was not of my doing but someone else's doing. It might have been a member of my association but I don't think so. I could have been anyone walking there dog down a Public Alley.

 

The mods shall smite you!

 

In this case DOES NOT APPLY! We do not need to see that shit!

 

This is more of a job site story than a neighbor story, but the subject is technically someones neighbor...

So this guy is a big-time chemistry aficionado and has a chemistry set the size of a 2-car garage, he passes away and his middle-aged son is cleaning out the house, breaks down the chem setup and takes the main barrels/jars of chemicals to the local upstate NY dump. Son goes to the sorting/receiving area of the dump and is of course turned away because he's proposing to just leave hundreds of gallons of highly toxic chemicals in partially labeled inappropriate/damaged containers where you'd dispose of antifreeze and oil bottles.

Son throws a fit and speeds part of the way out of the dump. DEC official who's entering the dump waves the son down (because of his high rate of speed out of a public dump), DEC explains the son is responsible for all the chems and to just call a disposal company and pay a few $100 to have them taken away properly. Son goes ballistic, tells off the DEC, and tosses everything out of his truck/trailer right at the side of the entrance road in full view of the DEC and one of the dump employees!

Bottom line: son had to pay $300,000+ for the environmental cleanup!

 

Superb!

This is the closest thing to a Bill & Ted Adventure yet!

 

The only thing that would make this story better would be if we knew his partner in crime then was a current friend now!

 

I just can't compete with that Jaime

 

I've just never had any neighbors crazier than me

 

It was probably one of the Chases’

 

Funny, I have nicknamed my neighbor dickhead too. First day we move in, they introduce themselves and are very nice, but say, "I hope you dog doesn't bark, because we would have to have a discussion about that." I would never let my dog bark, so I take this as being blunt, but a good sign they will be quiet neighbors. A few months later they get a puppy. The husband is out with it all the time. It barks and barks and barks. I talk to them nicely about it. "Are you sure it was our dog?" "Yes, I am, I can see it out the window." Then he starts playing with the dog all hours of the night. It wakes us up repeatedly, we are talking 1am, 4am... on weeknights. One night it woke us up twice. I went outside to talk to him, but he just went in. I text him about it, he responds. "Not me, we have been in all night." Next day I see him. I tell him I saw him with my own darn eyes. He says nothing. Then he says, "Where do we draw the line in enjoying our dog? You are encroaching on our right to enjoy our dog." I realize the guy is a lying little man child retard (even though he has a job...). Thankfully we are in a suburb where the animal control person takes action, but even he is sick of my neighbor and he wants me to call 911 when it barks. I don't really want to do that, but will if I have to. They have been cited repeatedly.

I'd like it to work out, but I have learned something with other problem neighbors. Talking rationally, asking nicely rarely works. Meanwhile being a total a$$hole does. The last time he was out barking, I ran outside and lit into him yelling very loudly with F bombs, called him an infant retard, to take his f'ing dog inside and if it happens again I will call the cops, but also start waking him and his wife up and see how much he likes that. He ran inside like a little punk. I felt bad. I try to be a nice person. I don't bother anyone, but being a screaming jerk was the only thing that worked. He was suddenly taking care of the dog much better.

Meanwhile I discovered the perfect revenge, if needed. I can easily make their dog bark inside their house and wake THEM up! I tried this a few nights very late. Just went out and tapped on the fence with a stick. Within seconds their dog was non stop barking inside and I heard the wife yelling to stop the dog from barking. It seems they don't like being woken up by a barking dog after all.

 

EXACTAMUNDO!

 

These work great. Stopped a neighbor's cat crapping in our rose beds.

 

I dont know how people can tune out dog barking, the longer it barks the more annoyed I get.

 

Not truly a neighbor, but some ferret related shenanigans from one of the local trailer parks that generate the best content on my nextdoor dot com feed:
it is important that baby must have her first ferret right off the bat

 

ferrets stink, no matter what anyone says...

 

Nextdoor is my source of amusement. Everyone keeps complaining about coyotes runnning around in all the new cookie cutter neighborhoods in the middle of the freaking desert

 

Hey I got woken up by 'yotes in my new cookie cutter neighborhood in the middle of the freaking desert just the other night... That's about the only source of noise out here though so I consider it a blessing.



I can laugh about this now but I used to live in a really obnoxious neighborhood. My bedroom window looked out over the alleyway/garages area. We had a number of... special people.

Down at the end was a screamer. He would just lose his shit out of nowhere and scream profanities, slam his car doors, throw shit, generally have a semi-public meltdown. When the cops came it was like you flipped off a switch. "Oh yeah I'm fine." Perfectly normal tone of voice.

Then there were these Asian college kids who would play fortnite or something with the windows open and shout about the video game in what I can only guess was Cantonese or Mandarin. Daddy's money was deep, they went through at least 3-4 six figure cars to my recollection.

Then my next door neighbor one day had an "unintended acceleration event" pulling out of his garage and crashed into the Asian kids garage and so they had to replace their cars... again.

Then on top of all that there was a guy who liked to ride straight piped Harleys... He even thought it would be cool to do it with his drunk buddies at 3 AM. That only happened once because a number of people called the cops. He filled that void in his life with domestic disputes. Oh, and he would forget to close his garage door, and he got robbed of all his snap on tools.

Glad to be out of there.

 

Here's some more characters from the apartments: there was a couple directly above us who worked in restaurants/bars etc., so they worked late. They had a little white dog named Winston. When Winston was home alone, i.e. all evening and into the night, he barked constantly. Literally constantly. You'd think he'd get a sore throat, or get bored and give up, but the little bastard absolutely would not shut up for hours and hours. I told them about it but of course there wasn't a lot they could do about their dog barking when they weren't home. I wanted to invent a remote control that would make him explode, but that's not a real thing that can be done, so i didn't. Eventually i did sort of get used to it.
One night we were in bed, and i guess Winston had escaped, and they were outside looking for him. There had been an ice storm, so everything was slippery out there, they were calling for the dog and repeatedly slipping on the ice and hollering in pain as they fell.. like "winstooooon! winstoon! (thud) aaaargghhhh! winstoon!" it went on for a while. Eventually they apprehended Winston, and came back in to have loud sex in celebration i guess.
The guy also used to sometimes lock himself out of his (3rd floor) apartment, so he'd periodically show up at my (2nd floor) door so i could let him out on my balcony to shimmy up to the third floor and go in through his unlocked balcony door there, that was always entertaining.
One evening i was sitting out on the balcony, and he came into the parking lot in his truck, followed closely by a cop who gave him a sobriety test right there and arrested him for dui. The shitty part was that then the cops came and towed his truck even though it was already back at the place it was supposed to be. Winston may have been a pain in the ass but i thought that was pretty bogus.

I saw a Korean movie a while ago called "Barking Dogs Never Bite", the premise is there's a guy under a lot of stress living in a huge Seoul apartment block, and his neighbors' barking dogs are driving him nuts, so he embarks on a spree of dog murder. Meanwhile these two ladies who work in the building are trying to solve the dog murders and track him down. It was pretty funny, if i recall.

 

"got out thru a hole in the wall of our kitchen" WTF??

 

what, you don't have a kitchen hole?