I want stories of lunatic neighbors

I call bs, nobody gets up happy to go to work.

 

I would have smeared the dog shit on her door.

 

Did you send that to Penthouse for their Letters section?

 

Scoop it all and place in front of her door and then grease the floor around it. She tries to step over and boom. Bad Day.

 

I'm subbing in just for the crazy cat updates.

I'm lucky, never really had any lunatics. Well, I did live next door to some church-owned halfway house for about two years, which kept eight very nice people off the streets. How eight adults and one caregiver lived in a 1300 sq.ft. 3br/1.5 is beyond me, but they did. They were very friendly and quiet, for the most part. Except that they kept messing up my cable attempting to run a tap, and there was the one incident where someone fucked the mailbox, but other than that, they were the perfect neighbors.

 

I'm hoping that "fucked the mailbox" means 'fucked up' the mailbox and not something else

 

I should clarify: It wasn't my mailbox that got all the attention, it was their own. Now I'm not sure if the person involved was showing dominance or just venting anger/frustration in a very special way, (as only people who aren't fully aware of their own body motions would do). I hope for my own sanity that it was the latter - a lot of the residents appeared to be bickering that week and there's nowhere for them to go but the front or back yard to be alone and cool off, but that mailbox got fucked.

 

When I was a kid my parents had a little rent house out back of our place. For several years it was rented by a cute girl named Gloria that worked as a topless dancer. Most of the time she was really nice and helpful. She even walked all over the neighborhood once and found my lost dog. Apparently she had an alcohol and/or drug problem because some days and nights she was a totally different and messed up person. She had lots of boyfriend problems and they would have shouting and wrestling matches out in the yard in various stages of undress. I lost count the number of times the police were called. She paid her rent on time so my folks tolerated her up until the night she unloaded a 12 gauge pump into a guys car. They sent her packing after that incident. She was my first crush so it broke my heart.

 

Not bad

 

So my neighbor punched a dent in my truck. he was mad cuz I apparently was speeding on our road which the speed limit is 25 as it’s unposted and he he thought it was 15 or something. He got angry at me and tried to instigate a fight. I played it cool and was like ok. I wasn’t speeding. He got pissed and punched my truck. I didn’t notice the dent because he had just punched my baby and I was seeing half red. Tryingnot to fight the guy. Well my sister saw it all and pointed the dent out to me. Icalled the police instead of beating this guy. The arrested him.

 

Well done!

 

What a loser lol...instead of keeping his mouth shut or minding his own business, now he’s got a charge lol!

 

7.5

 

Time for some milk and cookies! This is going to be good!

 

Just moved recently.. had a fire late one night...had some extra stuff that wasnt desired so it got burnt...no one called the cops. Guess my neighbors are pretty cool.


Seriously though. I have shovelled my neighbors sidewalks a few times to redeem myself, though I doubt anyone was even awake.

 

This isn't a neighbor but after reading the other gentleman that had a neighbor punch his hood this morning I feel the need to share my story.

This was about 7-8 years ago. Picking up my girlfriend (now wife) from trade school in my F-150. As we were driving down the road, I remember at some point a car looked like he was trying to change lanes without a signal at a red light and was hesitant. So here I come trying to slow my near 5,000 lb truck with this guy who then swerves into my lane last second and I honk at him. He then proceeded to get out of his car, bang on his hood with his fists causing a dent and threatening to kill my wife and I. I just remember shouting at him through the window to "use your blinkers," literally what I said 3-4 times.

When he figures out I'm not phased by him being a butt hole, he gets back into his car and bolts. When I get back into town I try to file a police report but I literally had no info on this guy. We were too busy focused on how to handle the situation with this lunatic that we forgot to even check out his plates. So I got stuck with a fist size dent in my hood for the rest of the lease.

Fun times...

 

I lived in a very run down apartment on the outskirts of town while I was a student in College.

My first few days there, my next door neighbor comes by my place to ask me if I would like to come by and have a drink with him. This guy was about 24-28 years old living with his girlfriend, her child, and dog.. I accepted his offer, and figured why not and went into his apartment.

His house was absolutely DISGUSTING. There was dog urine/crap everywhere, used diapers on the floor, and the scariest part.. all he had were MD20/20!!! I tried my best to be polite and have a drink, stay there and hang for a little bit. He put on Dragon Ball Z (An animated show) and told me how much he loves the show. He even told me that a couple years ago, that he believed that he could actually create a Kamehameha ball (For those who don't know, it's like an energy laser beam that the character charges up and shoots out of his hands) and he tried it by screaming as loud as he can and using all of his strength and actually passed out. I laughed hysterically at this because I thought he was joking, but he looked dead serious about it. Like if I was the idiot for laughing.

Long story short, things started getting out of hand from there. He'd come by my place and ask me for rides to places, cause his girlfriend would never come home at night and I took him to some VERY sketchy place, watched him confront a group of VERY sketchy dudes accusing them of sleeping with his gf, so I never did that again. Him and his girlfriend would fight almost every night. Yelling, beating/punching on walls, baby crying, dog crying, all that. You'd see the red/blue lights outside of my house house almost every night because of them. They didn't end up staying there for long. Maybe two months while I was there? I remember coming home one day after school, and I saw some type of registered sex offender sticker on the outside of their door few days before they left. Never knew what ended up happening to them.