Whatever

"Is this the line for the dispensary tour?"

 

See Shauna...I really did go shed hunting!

 

Oh... that is what you really meant? I wasn’t judging I promise!

 

We leave that job for @Crow_of_judgement

 

Alrighty then. The first paragraph is just a preface. The story aint great, but its one of many.
My dad was an alcoholic. Not the violent kind, he never touched me or my brother and never laid a hand on my mom. He was just....absent. There was a bar 3 or 4 blocks away that he went to every day. I can honestly say I do not remember him being home 1 single night when I was growing up. It wasnt a bad thing, we grew up thinking this was normal.
One night a guy came in the bar with a rifle and started shooting up the place. My dad just sat there and drank his beer. The guy told him to get out, he said not till I finish my beer. He finished his beer.
I tell you that to tell you this. When I was 17 (1985) I had a buddy I ran around with alot and we drank insane amounts of beer. So much that I'm not gonna say because most wouldn't believe. The rest have done it before and know what I'm talking about. Anyhow, he had this small Ford truck with a fantastic stereo and we would listen to music and pile cans in the floor or throw them out the window. Back then, around here, there was always a party at a ditch or some railroad tracks. If you drove by them long enough, people would show up. There was this girl that was 18 that I had been scheming on a few times but she was into some other dude. I saw her on this particular night and decided I would just say hi and carry on. So we hung around at this ditch for awhile and went back to town. We went to an all night store where people met up around 1am most weekend nights. We would put our coolers behind the store and lean on a dumpster with our beer in our hand in the dumpster. If a cop showed up we would just drop our beers in the dumpster. Anyhow, I was drunk as a loon and the aforementioned girl pulls up with a friend. She told me her dad was gone and did I want to come over. My buddy heard her and tossed me his keys and said he would find his truck later. Good friend, he was. So we go to her house and yada yada yada her dad walks in her bedroom. We are wearing nothing but our shame. He says get the fuck in the kitchen. We scramble for our clothes and she tells me to climb out the window. I said hell no, if he comes back in he's gonna drag me back in the room. So we go to the kitchen, I sat at the table and she sat on the floor. He starts cussing and screaming at her and I'm scared shitless so I aint sayin nothin. He finally said to me, what if you get her pregnant? She had told me earlier she was on the pill and like any 17yo I took her for her word. But I aint goin there with him. So I just hung my head in shame. She had her hands on the floor behind her and she started to speak, he stomped her hand with his foot. He was wearing cowboy boots. I went

Duh fock just happened!?$^&
Then he turned to me and said, you know I could get you for rape dont ya. Well, I'm 17, she's 18, so I said "yes sir". He said you have 2 choices here, call the police or call your dad. I'm thinking I'll take call my dad for 100 Alex. So I call my dad. Now I'm wondering if my dad will be drunker than me although I'm sobering up at an alarming rate. So I call my dad (luckily he's semi-sober) and give him a brief rundown. He said it sounds like I need to bring a pistol. I said it prolly wouldn't hurt. When my dad showed up that crazy man completely changed. My dad was not a big guy, but for some reason that dude acted like they were old friends. He even told me I was free to take his daughter out on a date if I wanted. I said you aint gotta worry about that. You'll never see me again. That's all I got. For this one.

 

Can I like that twice

 

Shit!!! I thought this was going to be lighthearted story time!! This true?

 

Yep

 

So the moral of the story is nothing says bonding with your dad like having unprotected sex with your crush and getting caught?

 

That was one our better bonding moments.

 

Hello.

 

How are ya?

 

Tired but good. Yourself?

 

Waiting on a story...
Who is next?

 

How are ya?

I'm OK, thanks.

 

Who could top that??

 

I'm sure someone can. Hell, I can.

 

No shit!!!! You sure you wana go shed hunting with him? You might wana rethink that.... just sayin.