Whatever

Well, since we're doing pics: Here's me like 20 beers deep dying of heatstroke at Red Bull Rampage...

 

Sure does... we like stories here

 

But I usually look like this:

 

It's a little bit of a read, but here you go.

My time in Jail- A memoir

So growing up in CA riding dirt bikes, I really missed being on two wheels and going fast. I was stationed in Norfolk, VA at the time, and decided I wanted to get a street bike. I already had my motorcycle license endorsement, so I started shopping around. I found a Kawasaki ZX-6R (636cc) that the guy had previously taken on the track, so it was a sweet set-up. It was dropped 2" in the front, steering stabilizer, SS brake lines, power commander, etc. The bike was tuned on the dyno, and put out 126 HP to the rear wheel. Needless to say, it was fast.

Well one day, I decided to go for a ride on the Chesapeake Bay Bridge-Tunnel. For anyone unfamiliar, it's a 23 mile bridge that's got tolls on each side, 55 mph speed limit, and costs around $15 to cross it.






I'm cruising along, and think to myself "Hey, I've been 140 mph before. Let's go 150 mph and see how that feels." Traffic was light, and my GoPro was on my gas tank recording. I get up to 150 (that was exhilarating) and slow down to 90-100 and cruise along, because that feels like a normal speed now. I pass a group of bikers on Harleys and give them a wave as I pass, happy that everything went well. At this point, I'm about 8 miles into the bridge, and see a cop going the opposite direction, but don't think anything of it. I'm going a normal speed, right? Wrong.

Fast forward 15 minutes when I get off the bridge portion, but I'm still within the toll stations. There's a cop sitting in the center median, and as soon as I round the corner going ~85 mph, he turns on his lights, flips a U turn in front of me, and signals me to pull over. I do, and immediately turn off my bike and start taking off my helmet to let him know I don't plan on running. He says "You were going mighty fast on the bridge back there! My partner saw you going triple digits!" Well I start shitting bricks, because I knew I was busted. The cop proceeds to tell me how my license will probably be suspended, etc. while we wait for the first cop to show up.

The cop shows up, and at this point there's 4 cop cars there. I'm thinking "Man I'm fucked, because my GoPro was recording everything." He mentions how he saw me going "close to 100" and at that point I knew he saw me AFTER I had already slowed down. Not so bad, right? I readily admit that "Yup, I was only going 90-100mph". I had no idea whether or not they could take my GoPro if I was a dick and claimed to only be going 55 mph, which is why I readily admitted what I did.

After some deliberation, the two cops come back and tell me they're gonna take it easy on me. They could have gotten me with two separate counts of reckless driving (anything over 80 mph is automatic reckless in VA), taken me away in cuffs, and impounded my bike. Instead they gave me one "general reckless driving" and released me on my own recognizance with a court date a month later.

Fast forward to my court date. I'm there in my dress whites, with my Navy representative and my lawyer. We're watching the judge act cool with everyone, and reducing charges on damn near everything. I'm feeling pretty good at this point. We get up in front of the judge and my attorney presents our case. The judge leans back, takes off his glasses and asks the cops, "How fast was he going?" Cop: "He admitted to going 90-100mph" Judge: "100mph?!?! You hit a pebble going that fast and you crash and die!!!!"
The attorney proceeds to try and reason with the judge, but he wasn't having any of it. He says "Right now I'm just deciding how long I want to send you away for." My heart sinks and head drops. I'm so fucked.

I ended up paying $500 for my attorney, $500 in fines and court fees, and spend 3 days in jail. That was terrible, and I don't plan on ever going back there. The food was terrible, and my cellmate had tear drop tattoos. Sold my bike, and haven't been back on one since.

 

Love that giraffe suit...

 

@MurphTaco you’re right! Conner does look like the other fella.

 

For some reason I feel like I would be inviting that comment I was celebrating avoiding earlier! It’s a jungle in here

 

Whatever...

 

Touchy

 

Told ya. Pretty sure @EatSleepTacos and I are the about same age too.

 

I don’t want you uncomfortable, post when you’re ready. We just like to put names and faces together.

 

Only time i've ever blacked out was doing tequila shots... never again...

 

Probably, I’m 26

 

I throw up when I smell tequila. That sour smell just does me in every time after a very rough day a few years ago in CA.

 

I'm 27 June 12th

 

You’ve got me by a few months, I’ll be 27 in September!

 

Since you asked so nicely...

 

It’s too much fun to go from 45 to 100 on thos3 things. My brother bought one and needed me to ride it home for him. Glad a don’t own one, I would be locked up or dead.

 

Awww that your wife?

 

Exactly why I sold it. I couldn’t trust myself on it anymore. Looking back I’m happy it played out like it did. It was essentially a giant slap on the wrist with no permanent repercussions. If all that didn’t happen, I’d probably be dead right now.