Whatever

Google is my friend

 

What ya gonna do with that horse?
Race him
You'd probably win

 

“Participation trophy..I’ll take it”
Worth a ban

 

Some of my favorites by him
I love
Faster Horses
Ballad Of Forty Dollars
Salute To A Switchblade
I Like Beer

 

You want to do what with my what? Yeaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy

 

That's a wonderful place to be.

 

Here ya go, Dave.

A guy walks into a bar, orders 12 shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can.
Bartender: "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?"
Guy: "You'd be drinking fast, too, if you had what I had."
Bartender: "What do you have?"
Guy: "75 cents."

 

2 canibals are eating a clown..
One of the canibals turns to the other and asks “does this taste funny to you?

 

Amazingly, I've never heard this one.

 

Horse walks into the bar.

Bartender asks “why such a long face”?

 

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson replied, "I see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

Watson pondered for a minute.

"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets."
"Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo."
"Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three."
"Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant."
"Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow."
"What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!"

 

This joke works better in person but I think I can pull it off...

A guy walks into a bar and orders 4 shots of whiskey. Lines them up on the bar. Proceeds to throw one back and then pour the other three through the fingers of his right hand curved into a circle (fingers touching end of thumb). The bar tender asks him what the hell he’s doing. He says “getting my girlfriend drunk”.

 

Reported



-Bob

 

Ignored





-Jay

 

Morning

 

Hi B... you survive your party?

 

I'm alive and well.

 

What did I miss in here?