IT BS thread

What they are failing to understand is that CSPs are actually part of the internal network - they just aren't "in our building." So, because they see the traffic transiting the gateway, they're screaming that there's extra risk. Meanwhile, I'm all "nooooo, we covered that. This is internal traffic - it's not going to an external entity, merely another internal entity in another facility." I get the review board to understand, and then they sleep and forget everything they've learned.

Part of our problem is that current policy (and the lack thereof) predates large scale cloud adoption, so they don't know what to think of how the CSPs factor in to all of this.

It hurts the brain.

 

Boy I hear you on this one. I've got a purchasing manager that has a memory that resets with sleep -

me - We need to purchase this SPECIFIC product, from this manufacturer, for these technical reasons

purchasing - That makes complete sense, I'll create the PO.

next day

purchasing - I put the part out to bid and another manufacturer says they can do it for $$$ cheaper. (on a $$$,$$$ project)

me (nice out loud voice) - We need to purchase this SPECIFIC product, from this manufacturer, for these technical reasons. (inside my head )

 

So now I've started Rational and Agile training for IT managers. I'm in here like:


Thank God I have my phone.

 

OK, for all you newer IT techs, let me teach you how to trouble shoot a problem on a system that was working but suddenly quits. Ask and answer the question “what changed?” Here’s a recent exchange that shows the point.


Mid level tech (that should know better) – The bla-bla system is crashing overnight and the users are complaining.

Me – was it working before?

Tech – for months, this started 2 days ago.

Me – What changed?

Tech – I haven’t changed anything.

Me – Something has changed.

Tech – Nothing has changed.

Me – Go talk to everyone that has admin rights to the system, something has changed.


Tech – (after some time) – the developer installed a minor fix 2 days ago, they didn’t think it was a big deal.

Me – (silently in my head FML. We have a weekly change control meeting and those nimrods can’t remember to say they’re putting in a patch?!) well, that’s why I get paid the big bucks, to ask the question "what changed?"


Seriously though, systems don’t just quit – something changes to break them. Getting the answer can be crazy hard, and sometimes what changed is never found, but something has changed.


You’re welcome. With those two words, “what changed” in your tool box you will be a better troubleshooter than even some senior techs.

 

VENTING

So part of what my employer wants me to do is rationalize the application portfolio to help reduce costs, modernize the environment, digital transformation, blah blah blah AI ML blah cloud blockchain. My current count of applications in just one space is 1700+, all in spreadsheets, with no real information about what the application does, how it was built, etc. So, I provide a plan for what is needed to do the actual rationalization, how it will work and how we will measure progress, and get held up in funding (new role and initiative, so no funding carrying over from previous years to work with, you know how budgets work). So, I have to go after Strategic Funding (and my program is a strategic program, so there's the first clue to dysfunction). Execs agree with the proposal, their direct reports and all the way down the chain are all over it, there are several other "strategic" initiatives that depend on what I am trying to do, so I FINALLY get a portion of the funding needed. I'm like YAY LET'S ROLL and start mobilizing. Then I'm told the funding is contingent upon showing up AGAIN to explain what the "outcomes" are. WTF? Yeah, I get it, been through this before and it's totally normal.

Clueless Exec: "You are tasked with rationalizing our app portfolio! This is a critical effort."
Me: "I'm on it! Here's what we need."
Clueless Exec: "So what do we get for that?"
Me: "Um...a rationalized portfolio?"
Clueless Exec: "But what does that get us?"
Me: "I don't know, YOU ARE THE ONE THAT FUCKING ASKED FOR IT"

Ugh. We do need to do it, but it's definitely a case of "I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you."

Thanks for listening, carry on.

 

If it makes you feel any better, I need to explain how our security camera software provides cultural enhancement and increases our employee talent.

 

Sounds like you need an army of PMPs to write documents no one will read and make presentations no one will show up for.

 

Yeah...that looks non-routable to me.

 

God love PMP's cause no one else will. (JK) At a previous gig the CIO wanted each department to put a presentation together to highlight what they were working on. The PM Director's presentation sent us straight to the hell of powerpoint. After what seemed like hours, probably 30 minutes, it was my turn. I started by saying, to collective groans, I've only got a few slides. Then I fired up a fast paced video with upbeat music and was finished in under 10 minutes. I got a round of applause and glowers from the PM's.

 

I have a new employee on my team who rolled his eyes when I got excited when finding out he was an intelligence analyst in the Army. I told one of our PMs that "you only think you know PowerPoint. He was born into it...molded by it. By the time he could walk he was building 140 slide animated decks."

A look of shock crossed my guy's face when he realized that I know what he's capable of.

I told him later that if he makes anything longer than 6 slides I'll fire him. We're cool now.





Next week I make him learn Visio. We need some 4 foot-wide system diagrams.

 

Gotta love that plotter - The PM's second best friend after PowerPoint.

 

Ever come in to the office and find nothing working because some idiot with a backhoe who can't read a fucking map just cut your OC-48 fiber?

THANK CHRIST for redundant circuits.

 

I never thought I'd say these words. "Thank you AT&T."

They've been out since 1700 yesterday splicing 638 individual fiber strands. The city's water department is guilty of the cut - they failed to have USIC come and find any other buried utilities.

They literally just finished. I don't know how many people AT&T threw at this, but it was more than one. That OC-48 is used by more than just my facility (we share it with another gov't agency).

Can't wait for the AAR to hear what the city's excuse is.

 

I had this happen before when I worked for a charter school organization here in los angeles. So much fun.
Multiple times actually. Once took out the site we ran our data center out of and the second just took out one of the schools.

 

i hit a power line to a light pole. i had called for locates and still found the power line. it cost me $1200. I hate to see what that bill would be. I'm guessing somewhere north of $100k

 

What the hell? Same shit just happened to us. Contractor hit two major fiber lines with one stroke of his bucket. Guess what was in those lines, yes, line 1 our primary and line 2 our backup. So much for different paths to the internet. They had to bore 1,500 feet of new line to get us and thousands of other users back on line. Now we are in the market for a second internet provider.

But, it did make for a quiet 2 days, no internet, no phone, no email.

 

Previous place i worked had 240 stands of fiber between their 2 datacenters that are about 2 miles apart. They took 2 different paths (they own all the land in between the 2) that are about 1/4 mile apart so that someone can't cut both lines with one swoop of the bucket.