The human centipede giveaway

It's been nice knowin ya

 

Alright OP, it’s shipped... arrives Wednesday. May god have mercy on your soul.

 

Mine went out at lunch today but since it's going from Norte' Cuba all the way to the Leftist Coast it ain't gonna be there till Thursday.

 

Slacker... couldn’t send it next day?

 

Hell is was $20 in a "fits it ships" box! Us poor old retirees ain't made of money...

 

Us Gen Y'ers arent doing too hot either friendo.

 

my care package goes out tomorrow. had to rethink my original plan because 2nd Gen.

 

So you just added a hammer?

 

lol right! I went flat rate myself... at least we know what our check will be every month!

 

Anything I need to prepare myself? Gloves? Goggles? Bomb squad?

 

The power of Christ.

 

They wanted to charge over 100 bucks to priority ship mine.

Nah, ground is good.

 

Well shit. Christ resides nowhere near where I am. If i pray for help now, i may burst into flames.

 

Alrighty... Ladies and Gentlemen, I do believe I have the first honors of showing my booty. Once again, a big big thank you to @Gettin Lost for sending me a box of stuff, it was an adventure. I laughed, I cried, I hurled. And now, without further ado, a shitload of unnecessarily drawn out pictures.

To protect against the possibility of flying dildos, first we must don the proper PPE. Goggles, gloves, steel toes, fire rated clothing. I got PPE, the dogs got PPE, the box got PPE. We believe in Safety First at house-Lobster, always.







A first look on opening and the box is stuffed to the gills with Walmart bags. 10/10 on choice of packing material. They kept the goods inside safe from the post office gorillas, and I actually use those to pack out trash when camping.






Now on to the haul. Nice hookers! I shall put them to good use, for both their intended purpose and also tormenting the neighbor's kids.




Next out of the box are the stickers. My tailgate is already adorned with the TMOAAC blackout letters, but it's gonna look bitchin on my gun safe:






Next up, a cool coin holder, a tonneau light, and a dog food button, lol.






Ok, now we're getting to the good stuff. A yeti mug, dog poop picker upper, and paracord. I could always use more dog poop bags. Seriously. 2 whole years of training, and they still don't understand why pooping in aisle 12 at Lowes is considered rude.





And finally, the best for last. A zombie kreugerrand. Valar Morghulis.





Well that was a bunch of fun. Good gifts, some lols, and I managed to escape without receiving the box of bees or worse. I feel like I stared right down the barrel of dildo-roulette, and I walked away unscathed. Click. May the next person be as lucky.

 

Hell yeah!! This is exactly what I intended to happen when I created this whole thing. Kudos to @Gettin Lost for the schwag and @Rock Lobster for being safe.

 

Damn! That’s a good haul!
I think @Gettin Lost went over budget!

Btw- love the randomness of goodies. Hope they all turn out like this!

 

Great start! I propose we wait till all the boxes are opened then vote on
1. Most Creative Box
2. Most Humorous Box
3. Most Useful Box
4. Biggest Dildo

 

I hope no one earns #3.

 

I hope that one person sweeps all 4 awards.

 

The picture of the hearing protection on the box was hilarious!!

The coin holder thingy fits in the square cubby beside the center cup holder in the truck. They come in handy! I got that one first, then had a custom Army one made so it was extra.

The top of the yeti unscrews so you can slide a can in. It will keep a can cold forever... Beer cans should never take more than 10 minutes to drink anyways... But the yeti is great for Pepsi cans... As a chaser to whiskey of course.

Glad you enjoyed it bro!