The human centipede giveaway

all about punting kids and population control. thankfully all the dumb shit my generation does is slowly killing them (born in the 90s).

-vaping is killing
-homebrew cocktails like jungle juice and lean
-one time in high school i watched a girl butt chug NyQuil
-every Instagram challenge (Tide pods, the one where you dance outside your car, and probably others i don't give a shit about)

boomers are going naturally and zoomers won't make it past natural selection.

balance is being restored to the world.

 

The vaping thing is true. I just read that I almost died and didn’t know it. I used to tool around at my kitchen table building sub-ohm coils (way before it was cool, obviously) and savagely ripping hucka clouds up in my crib. And then one morning I woke up at 3 am with insane chills, no hearing, and a freakishly high fever, and a restricted airway and fluid in my lungs. Since I had nursed myself back to health with strep throat while living in a cornfield in my first northeastern winter, I figured fuck it, I’ll nurse myself back to health this time, no big deal. I managed, but only after 3 weeks of barely breathing. Don’t vape. There’s something wrong with it.

Recently read about how some power hiker had to be hospitalized for the same thing. Obviously I was in far better athletic shape than he was at the time. These days, with my totinos habit, I would have died.

 

that's crazy. i have a handful of friends that vape, both regular nicotine juice and THC and i've been trying to convince them to quit. but since i smoke cigarettes, they just tell me to fuck off, that i'm jealous i can't smoke indoors. i know. cigarettes are bad but at least we know why they're bad.

 

You should invite this person to join the human centipede giveaway. She sounds like our people.

 

That shit is all over the media right now. I love how kids, just a couple years ago, could claim it’s nothing but water vapor. Ummm why not just suck on a tea kettle then. What’s the point if you think it’s only water vapor, that’s called steam, and it’s free. Also why would you buy that shit off the street especially?! You have no idea what’s in it. When we were down range, they had to issue a command directive to stop buying cigarettes at the haji shops on the fob. Dudes were getting cancer buying shit they had no idea what was in it. It’s like spice, hey here’s some random chemicals sprayed on dried vegetation, let’s smoke it guys!

 

Funny story about water vapor... but first vaping is stupid, and to make sure its known, inhaling any particulate matter in high quantities will cause lung disease... on to my story, about 12 people a year die from brain-eating amoebas that they snort via their netty pots that they don't fully boil. Whatever @killthehippies misses, the amoebas will clean up. The lesson being that even water you intended to make into vapor, but were probably to high to notice that you didn't, can kill you... when I first started writing this post, it sounded so relevant. Don't know what happened.

 

freaked myself a while ago reading about flesh-eating bacteria in warm waters in on the east coast. there was a dude who was just crabbing with an open cut on his leg and either lost all his limbs and died, or just died. i don't know, i read like 6 different recent cases. nature wants us dead.

i tried vaping once and thought it was the lamest thing ever. no head buzz, no body high, nothing that a cigarette could do (except stink up my clothes). i figured it would be a fad like hookah, but now it's the biggest fucking thing. i see kids in front of my old middle school hitting those little douche-flutes and i see the old bastards that used to complain about my cigarettes sucking on those little robot cocks. the world is a weird place. good thing we have this thread.

 

I find them to be pretty irritating. Most places that don't allow smoking also don't allow vaping, but those entitled douches seem to think that doesn't apply to them. I see people vaping at bars and other crowded places constantly.

I don't know the effects the second hand vapes have, and I'd rather not inhale it until more research is done.

End of my snowflake rant.

 

No they are being perfectly respectful and you’re perfectly safe, remember... it’s just water vapor!

 

Ah yes


Enslaved vapor.

 

My take:
Darwin was right.
For those who didn't pay attention in school:
"Darwinism is a theory of biological evolution developed by the English naturalist Charles Darwin (1809–1882) and others, stating that all species of organisms arise and develop through the natural selection of small, inherited variations that increase the individual's ability to compete, survive, and reproduce."

Now let me paraphrase:
Natural selection, in Tacomaworld-speak, means "If you do dumb or stupid shit, you will die and somebody smarter and stronger will be tapping what you have now."

Six beers into an 18 pack...

One last thing... moderation is always the smart play. Far be it for me to judge as I have no idea why I am still breathing. So if you have to have a vice, do it in moderation.

 

Nah uh... it’s Tides fault for making pods look so delicious! My teen and toddler both enjoy them equally because I don’t watch either of them.

 

That, and putting Nyquil up your asshole, have to be the two stupidest things ever. Darwin was right for sure.

 

not to deter, but @slowlane, I sent @kaijac03 his box today with delivery slated for Thursday since we're so far apart

 

AH ha! I get it! If I drink a whole six pack, its considered excessive because its all gone. But if I only drink six beers of an 18 pack, its moderation because 2/3s remains.

 

Your box is already full of stuff and waiting for the last piece to arrive before shipping. There is no room for a G'damn liver too...and I have livers!!!!