Funny military memes, B.S., and shotgun club!

We never had anyone in my Unit that fat

 

While active we never did but while I did 1 year of the reserve after active we did. And I posted his PT card to US Army WTF Moments haha.. people thought he was some dude just taking his last PT test before ETSing but it was him actually trying and he recently deployed after that.

 

My first Plt commander (2nd LT) that got to the fleet two weeks after I did got promoted to LtCol last Friday. How fucking old have I become! He was a cool cat though, did three deployments with him and he became our XO. Always hung with us and knew his shit. He pinned on LtCol without a skivvy shirt, still a gangsta MF! Long live LT B!!

He was schedule to pin on Capt but the weekend prior he was on the front page of the Honolulu times sports page at the pro bowl doing a keg stand in the parking lot. Our BN Commander blocked his promotion and it cost him command of a company and his bars for another year, he framed the picture and hung it in his office.

Dude once worked to get a date with this fine ass chick for two months. When she finally gave in he setup a romantic candlelight dinner on the beach and served his two favorite MRE's. Dudes a legend!

The Marines that get to serve under his command should be grateful to have him.

 

Fucking gross...

 

Old! I’ve got an O3 buddy that just took over as the BN CDR (O5) of the unit he was a Co CDR in. A couple CSM and BDE CDR buddies. Makes you feel old for sure. Also I can’t figure out how they can do it. I removed myself from any E9 boards and retired just to avoid being that pissed off CSM that spends the rest of his life drunk and angry.

Good to see your buddy still has his motivation!

 

Aaaand he was an NCO, not saying much in the reserve (no offense reservists) but its still a leadership role. I did my 1 year try-one and was outty. I couldn't take it.

 

One of my troops that I worked to get sent to college on the E-5 to 2Lt plan just got a line for LtCol.

He plays in Magic the Gathering conventions and does marathons, tough mudders, and the occasional Iron Man while wear My Little Pony gear. He's 100% whackadoo but a genius. Props for remaining himself and succeeding despite it!

 

I’ve heard that too many times to count. It’s one thing not being as proficient, which makes sense because you train far less and are far less resourced, but maintain the standards at least. I even understand being excited about guys breaking 250 on the APFT (I know that’s gone now), but again maintain the standards. Btw- it’s not ALL reserve and NG units, it happens in AD units too, but it’s def more common in the part time world.

 

Yeah I get how you feel. We have a large Air National Guard presence locally where I live now and they like to run around in these BDU or what ever the fuck they call cammies. They act like they are owed some shit because they are in the national guard. I am not a guy that flaunts my past but on occasion it gets to me. I was asked at a bar one time if I minded giving up my seat to some boot guard dick bag that decided to come into the bar in uniform. Most of the people in the bar know my background so I was like "sure, let me buy you a beer". Everyone around me was waiting for what was coming next. I was cool as the kid was nice enough. I thanked him for his service after paying for his first pitcher and paid my tab. As I was heading out one of the old guys that is always at the bar said "hey idiot, you might want to thank that Marine SSgt for buying your beers". I just smiled and tipped my hat on the way out.

 

That’s awesome! Something about watching guys you mentored pinning an NCO rank or commissioning.

Anyone still serving and in the e7-e8 range, I’d highly recommend ROTC. You’ll actually get to provide meaningful mentorship in a direct roll again.

 

Pretty sure bars in uniform are a no go for all branches. Became a big issue with Iraq/Afghanistan R&R and most branches pushed a policy. Doubt it’s been rescinded. I try not to be that ver that corrects guys still in, but if it’s blatant, I can’t help but call them on it.

Probably good there’s no AD posts near by.

 

I did that as a unit superintendent. All these butterbars would show up and I'd have to teach them how to officer. The ROTC kids and Academy grads weren't that bad (there was potential), but straight OCS accessions were horrible. They'd crumble if I said boo.

Then there were the constant lessons on the differences between power and authority. Those that got it moved into leadership roles. Those who didn't died at Captain and out.

 

Yeah, think we are set up a bit different in the Army. Sounds like a cool position!

In the Army (at least line units) the 2LT is in charge of a platoon but the platoon sergeant (e7) still has to train/listen to him. There was only one time I had to “take” my LTs authority on mission. It was down range and would’ve put guys at risk. Otherwise you try to do a side bar mentorship thing. Kinda weird set up but works. Also the company 1SG (e8) keeps the LTs in line. It’s a fun relationship, you flip them shit when they act like kids. They try to give shit back for being old, then you correct their officer hair cuts. Yell at them for doing dumb shit. It’s almost like having private’s again.

Oh and the company commander (O3) would be your buck sergeant because the BN commander and CSM will side bar with the 1SG and ask why you let the CDR do something he did. I think mine aged me 6x faster then I would’ve naturally.

 

In fact I think that's one of the very few ways to not get promoted...

 

It’s sad how true that is!!

 

Banging your direct subordinate will get your rubber stamp to 1LT...unstamped. Bringing porn into the Middle East will do it too, especially when it’s found investigating whether you’re banging your direct subordinate. I had to do the forensic investigation on that one. Dude lost a career and marriage in one afternoon.

Buying a sketchy thumb drive in downtown Abu Dhabi, copying a bunch of pirated movies onto it, and then plugging it into MY SIPRNET will get you kicked out of the AOR, kicked out of AWACS, and kicked out of the Air Force with a less than honorable. And that was a 1LT. I was NCC Chief for that one, and no one was allowed to fuck up MY SIPRNET.

I am protective of my networks.

Then there was the asshat CENTCOM FLANG LtCol who hand-jammed fucking HIGH-SIDE CODEWORD data word for fucking word from a CIA HUMINT summary into a SIPRNET document that he emailed all over the AOR. He actually yelled at me and my team while we tore through his files and cleaned everything up...right up until the JFACC (joint forces air component commander, a 3-star) gave him “8 hours to pack your shit and get out of my AOR.” We later heard that he was transferred from CENTCOM HQ in Tampa to a logistics outfit in the panhandle (hurricane supplies, noble work). He needed to be fed to the gators.

The lesson I learned is that it’s easier to kick out lieutenants than lieutenant colonels.

 

So will wearing a tab you didn’t earn if you’re a battalion CSM. Proudly admit I joined the process of getting proof he was wearing it down range without having earned it. His son had just been accepted to West Point too.

Fastest redeployment and retirement I’ve ever seen.

 

100% at least in the Army it seems like anyone over 15 years they're able to drag it out another 5 years... then retire... without consequences...

That is one of the best parts of my job, we're pretty isolated from the rest of the Army and no one eats the C4

 

Make it look like crayons and you’ll have Marines coming out of the woodwork.

 

What do you do?