Need Some Guidance/Reassurance

Hey man, no matter what happens, we will be here for you. We may not have met in person or chatted much at all, but when it comes to tough times for anyone, we can come together as a community and help out. Stay strong.

 

Thanks man, I really appreciate it.

 

Good luck. You know the right decision already.

 

That’s nice and all.......like a warm blueberry muffin........but Homie’s got to go. It’s for his own good.

 

I’m sure it has and I’m sorry. If you are honest with yourself, you have to be getting tired of these same repeat situations. Only you will know when you’ve had enough tho. If ya ever need a good strong slap in the face with reality, I’m here.

 

Yeah, me too.....we’ll both smack the shit outta ya with some reality......

 

Here's my perspective.

I was with my 1st wife for around 8 years total. Around the 2 year mark, I had the same reservations you are having, for many of the exact same reasons.

I was a dumb ass... I beat my head against a wall for 6 additional years. We were married, and we had 3 kids by the time it was all said and done, and I had had enough.

I pissed a bunch of friends off by not listening to what they were trying to tell me (because they cared, and could see what I refused to see) and there were some very dark times for me towards the end of our marriage.

Don't do that to yourself brother. From your first post in this thread I can tell you're walking down the EXACT SAME ROAD I DID. If she is pulling this shit now... it will not get better. Dump her like a bad drug habit. Because if you don't, she will become your "bad drug habit."

I'm really fortunate to have come out the other side in the situation I did. I got physical custody of my sons... They are all grown now, and made it through things well adjusted and good. My 2nd wife is the absolute best thing that has ever happened to me... we are absolute best friends... THAT is what you MUST have with a woman to have a successful relationship... and she is out there.

When I started my divorce, I thought I was screwed. Single dad of 3 boys, pushing 30... I thought there would never be a chance for a good relationship... I was 100% wrong.

To wrap it up... get the fuck out now, while you don't have divorce looking at you, and before you potentially put the chaos of a divorce on a child. If you even have to THINK about her loyalty, fidelity, or trustworthiness... it means she absolutely HAS GOT TO GO.

 

The people who can trust the most are the ones who give it to us straight. It takes the guess work out of trying to predict what they are really thinking.

She couldn’t have said it any better. You are seeing it different from any of use cause you’re seeing it from an emotional lens, rightfully so. Anyone with this similar investment would too.

In my opinion, she isn’t treating you very well and has little respect for HER relationship. I’ve been in something similar, which I walked away, learned from it and told myself I would find someone who treated me much better and like what @SRH said. Find a woman who chooses YOUUUUU. S

 

OP you are getting the goods today. i'm happy for you that you had the balls to ask.

 

I'm happy I asked as well because if there's one thing that I have definitely learned throughout my life, that is to always have different perspectives on certain situations. It gives me peace of mind and will allow me to have a conversation with my fiancee with an open mind.

 

C'mon man! If this is for real, she's a repeat offender with the clandestine dude com's. Don't walk away...RUN! Forget about counseling and DO NOT continue down the rabbit hole with this woman, unless you enjoy the abuse. Sorry about your situation, but chalk it up to experience that will be useful down the road.

 

I read about 3 sentences. Run like the wind, man.
Best of luck to you.

 

OP - no one, regardless of the alphabet following their name, diploma's decorating their walls or cost per hour, will say it better or in clearer terms.

@SRH .....

 

Go back and re-read your first posting--you already know what to do!

Now go get your balls back, and do what needs to be done.

 

You already know what you need to do. It’s time.

 

The funny thing about telling someone with a diploma hanging on the wall will sugarcoat it and keep things vague so you have to “come in next week to continue exploring your problems”. 5, 10, 20, 50 sessions later your life still has yet to evolve and change.

 

This. Run. Run fast. If you don't do a prenup.

These are not small red flags and her justifications are the attempted table turning rhetoric of a practiced cheater.

RUN. LIKE. HELL.

 

"How does that make you feel" (oldest daughter is a therapist).

Seriously, no one will get to the crux of OP's relationship issue more directly without insult or judgment than SRH's post. Refreshing as hell. On a truck forum, no less.

 

this.