Need Some Guidance/Reassurance

1999TacoMan · Oct 11, 2019

I appreciate all your guy's comments and feedback. I've made my decision already and am hoping for the best. Whether I made the right or wrong decision; only time will tell. Relationship was worth salvaging to me.

MFTAF13 · Oct 11, 2019

1999TacoMan[OP] said: ↑

I appreciate all your guy's comments and feedback. I've made my decision already and am hoping for the best. Whether I made the right or wrong decision; only time will tell. Relationship was worth salvaging to me.
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So your OK with a salvage title? . You've gotten some solid advice here, take it or leave it...Good luck dude.

NYCTaco52 · Oct 11, 2019

Run. Just run.

NYCTaco52 · Oct 11, 2019

MFTAF13 said: ↑

So your OK with a salvage title? . You've gotten some solid advice here, take it or leave it...Good luck dude.
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NYCTaco52 · Oct 11, 2019

MFTAF13 said: ↑

So your OK with a salvage title? . You've gotten some solid advice here, take it or leave it...Good luck dude.
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Some people enjoy the mental torment. I'll never understand it. But I'll accept that I cant help them

bajatacoguy · Oct 11, 2019

1999TacoMan[OP] initial post: ↑

Normally, I would keep this kind of stuff to myself but I feel like it would help me out tremendously if I got some guidance/reassurance in my current relationship. My fiancee and I have been together for 4 years and have been engaged for almost 2 years out of the 4. Our wedding is set for the following month and something tells me something is not right. I love her alot and honestly can't imagine what life would be like if we split.

Now, the reason I am expressing some doubt in getting married is because throughout our 4 years of being together, there has been continuous lies and secrets being kept from me. Alot of private messaging with "friends" who happen to be guys; a few of them previous relationships. Of course, we have managed to work out those situations by talking but it seems like when we are finally getting somewhere, we start all over again. 2 years ago, we were preparing to move from California to Texas. I had her leave to Texas first since her family already lived there, while I waited 3 months to continue to work and slowly say my goodbyes to all my family members. It was one of the toughest things I ever had to, knowing that I was leaving behind my single mother and all my family. However, it was a sacrifice I was willing to make to better our financial lives. Fast forward to my last month in California, I had a gut feeling that something was not right. When I hopped on my laptop, she had forgotten to log off from her Facebook and that is when I saw her messaging an ex of hers. They would message back and forth and he would send her pics of himself , however she never sent him any pics of herself. When I confronted her about it over the phone, she was shocked that I had found out. We talked it over during my last few days in California and I decided to give her a chance and move to Texas after all. Now to make a really long story, shorter, fast forward to yesterday. We had both just finished showering and I asked her if I could change the music on her phone. She has been very over protective of her phone for several weeks now, but I have always respected her privacy and never truly dared to look through her phone. As I unlocked her phone to change the music, I came across the conversation that she was having with her best friend through text. In that message, she had sent her friend a picture of a guy and asking her friend if she thought he was attractive. I confronted her about it and she stood in silence. She finally came clean and said that this guy had sent her this picture through text. When I asked her who this guy was, she told me it was a guy she met at a bar. When I asked her when she met this guy, she said she met him while I was in California visiting my family during labor day weekend. Allegedly she and him only spoke for about an hour at the bar and then she left home, but managed to grab his phone number. Supposedly, they have only been talking the past few days and I'm not sure what their conversations have consisted of. Haven't looked at her nor spoken to her since last night and I don't know what to do anymore.

Now this is where I would really appreciate some guidance/ advice. Our wedding is only one month away, and I do not want to make the biggest mistake of my life. When I asked her why she has done these things to me these past 4 years, her excuse is that I have not been showing her any affection or that I am always too tired to do things with her. My concern is that she is having an emotional affair with all these guys she has talked to. I work 10 hour workdays and some times I work 50-55 hour work weeks. Regardless of how much I work, I always put her needs first above mine and I always have made an effort to better our relationship. After this event last night, I just don't know what to do anymore or if I should give her ANOTHER chance.

Thank you for listening.
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Leave Now!

rtkbowhunter · Oct 11, 2019

1999TacoMan[OP] said: ↑

I appreciate all your guy's comments and feedback. I've made my decision already and am hoping for the best. Whether I made the right or wrong decision; only time will tell. Relationship was worth salvaging to me.
Click to expand...

Dude, there's no salvage title available. It's totaled. Best to leave this wreck in the junkyard.

wilcam47 · Oct 11, 2019

1999TacoMan[OP] said: ↑

I appreciate all your guy's comments and feedback. I've made my decision already and am hoping for the best. Whether I made the right or wrong decision; only time will tell. Relationship was worth salvaging to me.
Click to expand...

SliMbo4.0 · Oct 29, 2019

If you are questioning the trust in the relationship, I think you have to walk away. If you are questioning it now, you will always question it. People tend to repeat their shady habits.

I got divorced last year(married for 12yrs) cause I could no longer trust my wife with similar issues.

km87 · Apr 16, 2021

Any update in this?

Rock Lobster · Apr 16, 2021

km87 said: ↑

Any update in this?
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Cats ate their face.

Bunk Moreland · Apr 17, 2021

SRH said: ↑

Oh boy.... where to begin with a female perspective .....
When you are happy in a relationship, it wouldn’t matter if Brad Pitt wanted your number, you’re so into your man you don’t see anyone else that way. Tons of the same red flags goin on here. It’s been 4 years and you are still dealing with the same trust/infidelity issues. She should be so excited about the up coming wedding. I’m going to be very clear, IF SHES GUARDING HER PHONE, THERE IS A REASON!!! I understand you are struggling to see this as clearly as the rest of us, that’s normal. To say you are too busy, tired, etc. & blame her shady actions on you is not a hall pass to go look for male attention some where else! It’s called deflection!! SHE IS RESPONSIBLE OF THE ACTIONS SHE CHOOSES AND THE CONSEQUENCES OF SAID ACTIONS. She should be understanding of your work schedule. She seems to be someone who will always need to be seeking male attention and NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO CHANGE THIS!! This is her flaw NOT YOUR SHORTCOMINGS!! If you think changing your actions will change this in her, YOU ARE WRONG!!! There will just be a new justification. At the very least postpone the wedding! Then get YOURSELF into counseling so you can learn why you are ok with being treated like this!!! That’s where your future starts! With YOU in counseling for yourself!!! Not you and her in couple counseling!! From there one of two things will happen. You will either see this isn’t good for you and you will gain some self respect and realize you deserve someone that will treat you the way you deserve or you will decide its worth saving and THEN you bring her into counseling with you. Good luck, buddy!!
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OP was handed GOLD on a silver platter, and decided to go with cold booger on a paper plate.

SRH · Apr 17, 2021

Bunk Moreland said: ↑

OP was handed GOLD on a silver platter, and decided to go with cold booger on a paper plate.
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What is the gold on the silver platter?

Bunk Moreland · Apr 17, 2021

SRH said: ↑

What is the gold on the silver platter?
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Your post.

SRH · Apr 17, 2021

Bunk Moreland said: ↑

Your post.
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Oh I thought for a second you meant his woman.

Spare Parts · Apr 17, 2021

SRH said: ↑

Oh I thought for a second you meant his woman.
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Anything from you is gold

MillbrookMike · Apr 17, 2021

I wish him well, but if he couldn’t walk away from this, I suspect he has confidence or self-worth issues. It’s a big pond, with lots of fish in it, and he’ll likely be back casting his line in it again at some point.

SRH · Apr 17, 2021

Spare Parts said: ↑

Anything from you is gold
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SP!!!! Been a long time!!! Where have you been??

Bunk Moreland · Apr 17, 2021

SRH said: ↑

Oh I thought for a second you meant his woman.
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Sounds like she wasn't just HIS woman...

SRH · Apr 17, 2021

Bunk Moreland said: ↑

Sounds like she wasn't just HIS woman...
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She sounds popular

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Need Some Guidance/Reassurance

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NYCTaco52 Half man, half goat

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SRH My horns hold up my halo

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Need Some Guidance/Reassurance

#201 1999TacoMan [OP] Well-Known Member

#202 MFTAF13 "If it ain't broke, fix it till it is"

#203 NYCTaco52 Half man, half goat

#204 NYCTaco52 Half man, half goat

#205 NYCTaco52 Half man, half goat

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#213 SRH My horns hold up my halo

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#215 SRH My horns hold up my halo

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#217 MillbrookMike Well-Known Member

#218 SRH My horns hold up my halo

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#220 SRH My horns hold up my halo

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#201
1999TacoMan [OP] Well-Known Member

#202
MFTAF13 "If it ain't broke, fix it till it is"

#203
NYCTaco52 Half man, half goat

#204
NYCTaco52 Half man, half goat

#205
NYCTaco52 Half man, half goat

#206
bajatacoguy Well-Known Member

#207
rtkbowhunter Well-Known Member

#208
wilcam47 Keep on keeping on!

#209
SliMbo4.0 Well-Known Member

#210
km87 Well-Known Member

#211
Rock Lobster Thread Derailer

#212
Bunk Moreland Well-Known Member

#213
SRH My horns hold up my halo

#214
Bunk Moreland Well-Known Member

#215
SRH My horns hold up my halo

#216
Spare Parts Well-Known Member

#217
MillbrookMike Well-Known Member

#218
SRH My horns hold up my halo

#219
Bunk Moreland Well-Known Member

#220
SRH My horns hold up my halo

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