Funny military memes, B.S., and shotgun club!

or do you want me to tell you the time when I had to escort a LTC from a field training environment directly to United States Army Cadet Command Headquarters for sexually assaulting a female cadet during summer training?

yeah, he sat in an office with a Major Command General Officer and probably tried to explain away his actions to the FEMALE General Commander for fucking Cadet Command for the whole goddamned United States Army.

because he thought an impressionable college senior was cute and, in his mind... wanted his ancient dick.

eta: I never saw that dude before, or after. and there sure as fuck wasn't any press coverage on it.

 

Same thing happened to one of the other SMSI’s during LDAC. Except it was a 2LT and she turned him in for harassment when he leaned in to kiss her and she pulled away. Straight visit to the Cadet Command commander.

LOTS of PMS’s and SMSI’s go down while teaching ROTC. I’d argue it’s worse then recruiters. Dudes get away from the flag pole and with a LTC and MSG running each BN, I think shit just goes to their head. Don’t get me wrong, there are some hot college cadets that flirt and look up to you but dude... you’re cadre and ANY student is off limits and instant career ender.

Our BDE (2nd) had 41 main BNs (colleges) and countless other satellite schools that were attached to those BNs. The two years I was there I think we had something like 3 LTCs, maybe 4 MSGs, and 3(?) SFCs go down. That’s not counting admin shit like being overweight. That’s just inappropriate relationships or sexual harassment.

 

had a 7 hit on me once, and I immediately called her on it. a few of her classmates caught it, but most didn't.

dismissed class for the remainder of the period and marched her (along with another MS4) up to the APMS office

there were tears initially, but she straightened up. turned into a damned good armor officer too.

and that event helped develop a lot of trust in my office. whenever the cadets had problems, they brought them to cadre.

note to young leaders out there: there are few professional compliments higher than when someone comes to you with their problems. their opinion is that you're capable, that you can help.

 

That’s one thing I miss is those life conversations with career curious and motivated cadets. It was a nice motivation refresher. Really wish it had been my final assignment though.

 

i volunteered for another instructor assignment after it. i had more to give.

but ROTC was definitely the best part of my career

 

I was actually the s3 when assigned. Three months into it the list came out and picked up e8. When the CSM retired I was able to take a BN while that guy took over the BDE. Then I got it in my head I needed deployment time as a 1SG so left after two years. Otherwise my whole career was on the line.

 

i passed on E8. didn't want it

i figured "fuckit, i was looking for a job when I found this one" and just followed my bliss. i enjoy teaching, and i'm good t it

and now i suppose i might be the most badass English teacher in an entire school district.

 

Did that with 9. When it was my turn, BDE CSM did his review and to let me know I wasn’t selected. Surprised him when I said I decided to retire and declined the board and would continue to do so going forward. 25th had to be the worse assignment I ever had. Might’ve been good at one point but in 13’-15’ they were toxic. Couldn’t even protect the guys in my bubble anymore, first sergeants got emails directly from the Div CSM on a regular basis. Helped clarify that it was time to hang it up.

Thought about teaching, not a big demand here and the kids are a bit ridiculous these days. Been debating the sub thing just to see how I might feel.

 

It takes a real man to beat his dick in a portajohn at 115°.

 

That T-shirt still hasn’t turned up in the mail.

 

The dogs probably queued in on it...

 

We had an E4 that was on an Army route clearing team die of a heart attack in a port a shitter at Haditha dam in 06. Took about 18 hours to figure it out and was not a pretty site. He was older but still, was a little strange.

 

Someone saw the glow from my cellphone in the port-a-john and started banging on the door and laughing

being 100% honest, I was just playing sudoku

who gets turned on by the smell of a portable toilet? how the fuck does anybody get an erection with that smell present?

 

i had to clear houses while dealing with my primary demo guy having a fucking heart-attack. he lived, and we laugh about it now, but that was hairy