Funny military memes, B.S., and shotgun club!

So you had more stuff to carry around for years without using. It’s not our fault that the CSM was too dumb to realize what rain gear was designed for. The idea of “everyone wears it or no one wears it” is a powerful curse in the Army.

 

So CIF can flag you for it.

 

Below...

These reasons and also because you had to get used to not using it because it was too noisy on patrol and you could overheat in armor.

 

There is no more RED PORT LEFT.

 

It's time to die!

 

You're just jealous because you were a Marine back before the invention of rain.

 

Marines in my day have a saying
I'd rather have a sister in a Whor****use than a brother in the Air Force.

Marines are not afraid of water. thus the name.

You are dismissed.

 

You can't dismiss me - I'm retired! I will now get in front of you at the golf course and go extra slow.

 

That just means more beer for me so...thanks?

 

Oooppppssss

Sorry I hit into you,,,,,, you are so small, I thought you were further away than that

 

I hated getting stuck behind a bunch of 70-something retired officers. They'd take 4 hours to make the turn, but act all indignant when you play around them. We'd sometimes play the hole ahead of them, then pick up the hole they were on so we could pass them without dealing with them.

 

OMG... no to umbrellas. It’s the military, not... I got nothing. I have no sensible reason for a dude to use an umbrella.

Also- agreed, snivel and wet weather gear comes off before mounted or dismounted patrols.

Man up ladies!

 

WTF! This is why you were issued a Gortex jacket and pants. Not that we ever wore that shit outside of theater anyway.

 

I used the same ruck (issued from CIF) for three deployments to Afghanistan and Iraq. This was back starting in 2002 so we lived out of them. I was once in a patrol base living under a couple ponchos tied together for five weeks in a hole. We used to tie our rucks to the outside of the trucks and they hit everything. Long story short they were well used. When I PCS'ed I cleaned the pack well and it showed wear but everything still functioned and I was proud of that. On our first deployment we were instructed to glue name tapes onto the webbing of our rucks with some super strong epoxy that our BN supplied. After years of it being installed I was able to get the name tap off but the damage from the epoxy remained but the ruck was serviceable. After about 5 attempts to turn my ruck in and being refused because "it was dirty" a guy walks past me with a ruck that is dirty as fuck and beat to shit and says "the zipper is broken". The CIF employee says "oh, okay it is not serviceable then" signs this guys checkout sheet and throws it into a pile of old rucks. I said "hey let me take that back outside and see if I can clean it" referring to mine. I walked outside, opened the main pouch halfway, stood inside the pack and tore the zipper by pulling up on the open side of the ruck. After that I walked back in and said "did you notice this zipper is broken?" The lady says "oh, that's fine its broken then" and signs my ticket. I was like GO USMC!

It was crazy to me that CIF expected us to use and fight several wars with gear then return it in like new condition.

Another time I had a really good Gunny who had come to me wanting to check this 10k dollar flashlight my squad was issued because he had signed for them all and he had possession of 5 lights for the company but only 4 of the serial #'s were matching the sight count. Mine was one of the four that were correct and we never used it so I said Gunny if it is okay with you I would like to turn this thing in because we never use it. He obliged and I went on with my day. A few weeks later I heard through the grapevine that if Gunny could not find the missing serial # he was going to be on the hook for that light. I thought that was crazy because he had 5 lights and obviously one had been switched with another unit who was no doubt having the same issue. Long story short a month after that we hit an IED with one of my 7-tons and the whole thing burned to the ground. I mean nothing was left but the cords of the tires and the steel core of the steering wheel. The truck and everything in it was a total loss. I had picked up a new dragon eye system from Haditha that morning and that was in the back with two drones and one control box. Several weapon systems and a host of other gear. I was looking at a combat loss report well north of 1.5 million. Anyway, I was friends with the XO so when I was done compiling my loss report I went down to the XO's office and ask him what the serial # was for the light that was in question with Gunnys account. He is the same guy that just picked up LtCol a few weeks back and he knew what I was up to so without asking he wrote it down and gave it to me. I added it to the loss report and the XO signed it without question.

My Gunny didn't find out until he was leaving theater, I was rear party so when I got back I had a cold 6 pack waiting in my room with a note that read "Semper, you shady mother fucker. Semper Fi! Guns!!

 

You guys had to turn stuff back in? We only had to return armor, MOPP gear, and weapons.

Hell, I still have my ALICE gear from almost 30 years ago. It was issued - no hand receipt. If it broke - you were issued new gear.

Wow.

 

LOL, yeah. Why do you think we hate the Army so much! We even had to turn in long johns and gloves and beanies. EVERYTHING!
I was on a FOB in Afghanistan and a soldier walked over to supply and said "hey I lost my kevlar" and the supply officer just handed him a new one. I was like WHAT THE FUCK! In the Marine Corps squad leaders have a nice little underground supply chain.

 

lol easy now. That was a one off, probably drug deal gear the supply had. We turned everything back in with the army too.

 

Wait you guys get stuff?

 

lol yes but that makes sense, you don’t need gear on a cruise ship.