Sobriety.... One year later... Please Read.

There is no 1 drink ...... There is only how many can I drink before running out of cash. I’m thankful every day for getting sober again. Valentines Day 2017......... Last drink

 

I was always told non alcoholic beverages were meant for non alcoholics. I stopped worrying about people asking if I drank or not because the people who mind don't matter, and the people who matter don't mind. I don't hang around places whose sole purpose is to sell alcohol, just like I don't go to the dope man's house and hang out. If you hang around the barber shop long enough, you're bound to get a haircut. I am, however, free to go wherever I please so long as I am in fit spiritual condition. It doesn't bother me to be around people/family who are drinking, but I don't enjoy drunk people.

I am what Bill W. refers to as a "real" alcoholic and addict, someone who was only able to stop and stay stopped because of divine intervention and diligent maintenance of my spiritual condition. People like me are not like normal people who are able to simply cut back or stop all together without help. More power to those who quit on their own, but you are not one of us. I'm extremely grateful to be an alcoholic and addict, because I rely on something greater than myself to help me make the most out of life.

For those who try to quit and find they cannot (those who are truly powerless) there is a solution!

 

14 days today for me, doesn't seem like much but I don't think I've gone more than 2-3 days in 20 years without getting at least mildly impaired.

I crush those non-alcoholic beers. There's a brand called "Partake" in Canada and the IPA and Pale Ale is absolutely delicious. Sometimes I drink 8 or more watching a Nascar race on sundays. It also looks like a regular beer, so I drink them at BBQ's etc and stay sober while everyone around me just gets more and more annoying LOL.

 

I tried AA but it just wasn't for me. As I've mentioned earlier in this thread a few times I could get to the first step and admit I'm an alcoholic. I just couldn't get past the first step and release it to a higher power since I'm an atheist. I take nothing away from AA. It is a great program and if it works for someone then that is the route that should be taken. But I ended up doing it all on my own with the help of my family. Quitting alcohol wasn't nearly as hard as giving up the pain pills. So for me... It was sheer willpower. I realize that might not be the ideal way for others and it was definitely a challenge but it worked for me. So I always say... whatever works for you, that is the path that you should walk down.

 

Whatever works is the right answer. I've seen atheists get clean in AA and use the group as their higher power. I've seen people go to church and get sober. I was atheist before I got clean, and if not atheist then very agnostic. I had to ditch the concept of God I learned growing up and start fresh.

I was bleeding to death in a hotel bathtub before I was willing to believe in something greater than myself. That was the first time I sincerely asked for God's help. I didn't know or care what or who I was praying to, I just knew I was beyond human help. I got the help I needed that day and a peace came over me I had never experienced (and perhaps had been searching for all along in drugs). A voice that was not mine told me this isn't how it is supposed to end, that there was something else I needed to do. I don't know what that is, or if that something has already been done, but it gave me the strength I needed to stay clean ever since. That was July 13, 2012.

I am an advocate for whatever method brings someone joy and peace in their lives. AA has no monopoly on sobriety, but I know I wouldn't be here without it.

 

I think it can be both, but everyone is different as you said. My biological parents were young (23 and 20) when they gave me up for adoption, but I later learned both had been drinkers. My parents are the polar opposite..Dad goes through a 6 pack a year whether he drinks all 6 or not and I can count on one hand the times I've seen Mom take a sip of wine.

 

What works best for the individual, yup. Bottom line is you get what you need to keep what you got. I was raised strict Catholic big time and haven't attended a regular service in 25 years.

I never did the full steps. If I had to qualify as one of the "Big 3", I guess I'm agnostic mainly. I think there's more out there than just humans, but not convinced some all powerful deity is that.

 

How do I have fun..hmm.

Not worrying about how I am going to drive home from the bar, concert, etc...and being able to say to others who have indulged or plan to "hey, get in the truck and I'll drive".

Not running around my vehicle the next day looking for dents or gouges.

Not realizing how much I spent last night.

How much time I got to list it all haha

I've always been the type to go all out on things..which can be good or bad depending on how I aim it.

I do feed my addictions of concerts, tattoos, and vintage bikes but man oh man do I get to a lot of shows now that I don't spend so much on beer. I recently lived a lifelong dream of going to Madison Square Garden in NY to see the Misfits.

 

I grew up Catholic, too. It was an extra delight in a small Alabama town. I try to not to knock it, because Catholicism has helped alot of people find a personal relationship with their creator, but it was not for me. I had to forget all the stuff I learned in the church and start fresh. My view of God was not a very healthy one, so instead of changing it I abandoned the idea all together. The biggest thing AA did for me was help me start fresh with the God concept. I probably have very unorthodox views on God, especially when compared to religious groups, but it works for me.

 

Quit drinking........... Going to completely avoid talk of religious beliefs and AA did absolutely nothing for me. But as many said above, do whatever works for you to get and stay sober. If eating candy bars keeps you sober, then eat candy bars etc etc. Diabetes usually kills slower than alcohol anyway. LMMFAO.

 

Its easier not to drink than it is to drink in moderation...

 

The word moderation does not register in my brain.

 

Exactly... which is why i dont drink... as best i can... not perfect over here yo...

 

I grew up in a pretty much atheist family, but always had some higher power in my life. I wasnt even baptized! God can be a higher power of your choice, like others have said “whatever works for you” is the best concept. My God doesn’t want to punish me, hurt me for doing something wrong or making mistakes. My God loves me for who I am and wants me to be the best possible person Im capable of, in my lifetime. My addiction (little bastard) wants to hurt me and try’s to trick me into thinking I could use or drink again..
Its a constant balancing act, that requires me to stay focused on the here and now, not predict the future and react in situations that life brings in a positive way.. less negativity in my feelings have gone a long way in my recovery.

 

When I went through all my stuff (outlined in the first post and all through the thread) I had gotten to a point that I could no longer drink in moderation. I use too. I could go out and drink one (maybe two) beers at a restaurant and not drink again until the next time we went out. I rarely kept beer at the house and if I did a six pack would last me quite a while. But when all my shit went down I drank more and more and then started using prescription drugs as a bandaid approach. I did this for 3+ years so I lost all that time with my daughter and family during that time. That part of my life is a blur. I will forever feel guilty for that time that I can not get back.

As far as belief in a higher power goes... I stopped believing when I was around 14-15 so when I went to AA and found out that it required a belief in some higher power (whatever higher power you wish that to be) and prayer was involved it kind of turned me off as I just couldn't get into it. It just wasn't the right fit for me personally. That said... I take nothing away from AA because it's obvious that it helps millions of people so I can't deny the effectiveness of the program. If it works for you, by all means please go that route. So, I apologize for bringing up a belief system into this thread. It really doesn't have a place here. This thread is more about helping each other and I feel that my actions talking about a belief system might undermine what we have going here. We all have struggles in this life and how we deal with them is the true character of how we come out the other side. So however you have come out the other side is a true testament to everyone's ability to overcome this issue. This thread shouldn't have anything to do with "my" personal belief (or non belief as it were). It should be a celebration of how we have all dealt with this situation and helping others that might be dealing with the same. So please accept my personal apology for bringing my personal views into this.

 

No apology needed OP. Your very respected in my book. Your definitely a hero for what you’ve gone through and came out ok. My hats off to you my friend. I will keep in mind that sobriety and how you get there is ok whatever you do, and focus on experience

 

Good morning Sober friends,
Yesterday's history!
Tomorrow's a mystery!
Live life today to the fullest and enjoy it!

 

Went to Boston with my brother in law today. He got his 3rd OUI in 2011..and finally decided to really work this thing. I presented him his 4 year medallion earlier this year.

He's thus far gotten a 8-8 license and then got an additional 6 hours driving time. Hoping they grant 24 hours due to work and family issues.

Like I told him today, we did all we can. Turn it over now.

 

Dear RearView,

Just discovered your post and I’ve been reading about your life and continued recovery all morning. I must say it touched me deeply along with many of the other stories posted here. I have experience with PTSD, although I haven’t been diagnosed with the condition by a physician, nor as a result of combat, I have always felt it.

Back in the early 1960’s they didn't have a term for it! Later, PTSD became the “thing” linked to all manner of issues the Military, LE, Fire and 1st responders were dealing with. People heard the acronym but didn’t recognized it for what it was, a life wrecker!

I was born and grew up in a military family and when that fell apart I was 5 years old. My mom remarried a Marine about 3 yrs later and that marriage lasted until I started high school. After returning from his second tour in NAM my step father changed. Started drinking heavily and began taking his frustrations out on his step kids and my mom, physically.

He once whittled down a 2x4 stud, drilled holes in it and put my name on it, used it just for me. After almost putting me in the hospital my mom finally put a stop to the beatings and their marriage eventually ended a few years later.

Between the ages of 5-8, I was repeatedly sexually assaulted by baby sitters and some of my moms acquaintances, both male and female!

Like you my wife saved me! She knew I had a tough upbringing, had challenges with authority and was a bit of a hot head but knew nothing about the abuse i had endured. After being married for 15 yrs I told her about those experiences. She listened and helped me put those times in perspective, forgive what I could and move on. I think forgiveness has helped me the most along with talking about those long buried and closely held secrets.

Since then I’ve been able to confide with one of my closest friends and a counselor/child advocate and just last year with my youngest brother. As the oldest of 4 children I was the one tasked with looking after my siblings when my mother was working, going to school, trying to keep us all together. She passed on last spring and I never told her what happened to me. She did all she could to keep us together, a single mom with 4 kids back in those days, it was tough and I saw no reason to hurt her heart further.

I guess that the deep trauma felt by a fire fighter, a solider, 1st responder or a young child, as I was back then, have similar repercussions. I have worked through difficulties with alcohol and substance abuse in my life and come out the other side, not whole, but standing.

We did the whole AA and Al Anon thing and that worked for my step father, he’s been sober for over 40yrs now so your advice is spot on, “whatever works for you” do it, stick with it! I take it one day at a time, one thing at a time, and put one foot in front of the other and keep moving. Lost one of my brothers in 2014 to alcohol. He could never make peace with these demons and it killed him at age 54.

Notice that you first posted this thread in 2013, 6 years ago! So, I just wanted to commend you for your courage to do right by your family and yourself. By sharing your experience you have helped others to stop and think about what they are doing to themselves and their families and most importantly, to talk about it!

My hope for you Sir, is continued sobriety and long life surrounded by your family, as I am.

Sincerely,

Larry aka Merlin88

 

Sober 16 months today
One day at a time, I get another chance to be free from demon alcohol