Whatever

you got that right. Fighting sucks
And wow, see, Ive never really thought about it, but I think thats def part of it
She doesn’t appreciate me

 

yes, she gets upset and I avoid, then she gets more upset, then I avoid more. Its alot my fault, but sick of beating myself up about it.. you’ve got some good advice

 

I didn’t think you were quite that old.lol

 

Ben!!! Sup man?

 

I think that meme is relevant to IKEA furniture now.

 

I could use it for my mom taking pic. She has a IPhone XR and still get her finger in the pic. At least she stopped cutting everyone’s heads off in pic. I think 1/4 of the pic on her phone are of nothing really. Sky,ground, table/counter top, wall, you get the idea...

 

I'm gonna decorate my Taco with dirt and mud.

 

I'm with @SRH... you gotta communicate and you can't avoid conversations just because they're difficult. You'll either come out of it feeling better that you got your options and needs off your chest, or more decided in the future. Also, you mention that in your past relationships women needed you financially and she currently does not. You may want to ask yourself without that component what part in the relationship you're looking to feel needed in and where is the gap. Either way, I'm a proponent of counseling. It's a great opportunity to learn about yourself, learn ways of communication and have a completely unbiased and professionals opinion and I'd recommend it to anyone willing to go who has a need, even if temporary.

 

Don’t beat yourself up. You both are contributing to your problems. If you want to try to save this relationship talk to her and try the things I said. If you both are willing to go to counseling that’d be great. If not, there are books out there you can read together. A good one is The 5 Love Languages. You both might be doing things in your own way showing love and appreciation but because you have different love languages you are not understanding what the other one needs. You two will not come together completely and that is where compromise comes into action.

 

Relationship discussions??

Yeah, definatly gonna get my truck dirty.....

 

Ive suggested it many times, she feels that its past this. They would only call me out and prove that Im not “in love” with her. According to her. I dont avoid conversations about issues, its just that I cant explain everything and get all f’d up when she brings like 40 things to the table when I work on one at a time

 

it may be over.. dont want to throw out the baby with the bathwater, but my feelings of only holding it together because shes upset about never being married and telling me How I feel instead of Hearing how I feel, might not be enough.. dont want to make another mistake... F this really sucks ass

 

In all seriousness, do what makes YOU happy! Not others! That’s the secret to life!

 

Could be worse..... you could be married and trapped.

 

There is nothing wrong with moving on if that’s what you want.

 

Sometimes change is more difficult than tolerance.

 

For?

 

Believe me, I of all people know this! Fortunately in my situation the changes that needed made were made. Pretty sure I’ve touched on this with you, haven’t I?

 

Okay, so with your personalty... it's torture for you when she does that.
And you don't know how to deal with it.
I know exactly how that feels.

When another guy grossly disrespects you, you can kick his ass.
Or try to. And that usually resolves things.
Boundaries established.
At any rate, you don't have to live with him.

You can't do that with a woman who disrespects you.
And she knows just how to hurt you.
Forget boundaries.
It feels very unfair.

I'm not going to give advice.
In fact what I'm about to say may seem like it contradicts other advice you've gotten so far.
It's not. Just saying...

Mrs Gritto is a fine woman, and I tell her so.
But early in our marriage, she started fights from time to time.
I did my best not to reply in kind.

Finally, in the midst of one, I stood up and said something to this effect:

"I'm just a guy. I do my best, but I'm just a guy.
Ask me whatever it is you want, and I'll try.
I can't fight with you.
You have a choice to make."

And with that, I left and spent the night elsewhere.

Yeah, I know.
You're supposed to talk, talk, talk these days and it's supposed to make everything fine.
Maybe so.