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Funny military memes, B.S., and shotgun club!

Discussion in 'Military' started by wilcam47, Apr 12, 2018.

  1. Jan 2, 2020 at 3:28 PM
    #2681
    JJ Customs

    JJ Customs Supreme Leader!

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    Yeah, I like that spot. If you ever find your way back out there go to Leavitt Falls off the 108. Great little spot. I ended up working there as a contractor for almost five years and really enjoyed it.
     
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  2. Jan 2, 2020 at 3:28 PM
    #2682
    smartbomb

    smartbomb rcvr/xmtr

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    well, it has some great applications. it can just eat a dick

    I mean, it's a very good option if you have to HAF-Y onto an objective and then get out, especially if it's an R/S mission

    the most I ever used it was in RSLC, and got very old when it was planned-in for training iterations. especially if you templated false insertions/extractions
     
  3. Jan 2, 2020 at 3:29 PM
    #2683
    JJ Customs

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    LOL, yeah F the coast guard. I was not smart enough to be a Coastie.
     
  4. Jan 2, 2020 at 3:29 PM
    #2684
    smartbomb

    smartbomb rcvr/xmtr

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    if I return to California, it will be a bee-line to Yosemite... and then back out
     
  5. Jan 2, 2020 at 3:32 PM
    #2685
    JJ Customs

    JJ Customs Supreme Leader!

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    Yeah but for the fleet in the USMC. Not so much! Coolest shit we would do was a Blackhawk incert on the roof of a target. Mostly we would roll in and cordon everything off and go from there. You know, covert with 10 trucks rolling down the road. LOL...
     
  6. Jan 2, 2020 at 3:35 PM
    #2686
    smartbomb

    smartbomb rcvr/xmtr

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    oh yeah, I have a buddy that rode Belinda Carlisle in tandem. or was it Tiffany?
    i forgot, I just remember that her ass held up pretty good for her age

    maybe it was Tiffany
     
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  7. Jan 2, 2020 at 3:37 PM
    #2687
    JJ Customs

    JJ Customs Supreme Leader!

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    The best school I got to do was a NBC class. It sounded awesome as fuck. Gunny was like yeah its a quick three days. You will be NBC decon certified and you are learning to use the SANATOR or some shit that sounded like that. Then I show up at the class/school and the SANATOR is just a fucking pressure washer that never works and we spent our time setting up tents and counting MOPP suits. And non lethal instructor school. Fuck getting sprayed by OC again.

    The only school I almost failed was non lethal instructor. There were only 4 of us from an infantry unit and we were all Cpl's & Sgt's. On the day we were shooting non lethal bean bag rounds (12g) I wanted one of the bean bags so I pulled out my knife and cut the end off and pulled out the bag and some Gunny saw me do it and lost his shit like I had the barrel in my mouth. I was like chill, it is perfectly safe. The lead instructor was a Gunny who was cool so he gave me a good talking to and let it go. Though I did end up being the guy who got sprayed first so I could demonstrate the stations then decon and hold the bags at the knee strike station for everyone else so I could then go decon again so I guess they got there payback on that one.
     
    Last edited: Jan 2, 2020
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  8. Jan 2, 2020 at 3:41 PM
    #2688
    shane100700

    shane100700 Bed, Bath & Beyond Crawler

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    The Urban Breachers Course in Lejune was pretty decent. Biggest down side was having a lot more experience then the instructor. His first time using the charges was when he took the course a few months before teaching it. In his defense it was a newer school in conjunction with USMC. Most of big Army was new to it at that time. We started several years earlier as part of our certification for a new unit (Stryker). I loved the marines turn in policy for demo residue. It’s all thrown away. We always had to take on old shock tube, wrappings and empty spools.
     
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  9. Jan 2, 2020 at 3:48 PM
    #2689
    smartbomb

    smartbomb rcvr/xmtr

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    one can sympathize. they wouldn't issue flash-bangs until we "were qualified"
    it turns out you get a quick fifteen minute class on how they work (reading the little flyer that comes with them)
    and then throwing them at each other until you don't have any more or someone's earpro flies off.

    nine-bangs were my favorite. and pepper-foam. 9-bangs and pepper foam.
    pepper foam is best when it has that fluorescing dye so you can pick out repeat-offenders, super-awesome with white tee shirts. especially if she wasn't wearing a bra
     
  10. Jan 2, 2020 at 3:49 PM
    #2690
    JJ Customs

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    Yeah we got to do some cool training with engineers making shape charges and stuff on some old base housing that was getting torn down in SD. Our "dunnage" turn-in was pretty lax for the most part. We had an AT4 that did not function after 5 failed attempts to fire on a range once so we moved it to the far side of the firing line and pointed it downrange and it set there for a couple of hours. When I was done Gunny said we had to return it so I had to put that thing in the back of a HUMVEE and drive it back the the Ammo Depot. Talk about a slow drive with your ass hole puckered!
     
    Last edited: Jan 2, 2020
  11. Jan 2, 2020 at 3:52 PM
    #2691
    JJ Customs

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    I got flash banged by our BC once. We were using blue bodies wearing no PPE doing a demonstration for our BN. It was in CTA in Okinawa and our BC tossed a flash bang in and it fucked us up pretty good. Thankfully we never did a combat deployment with that BC. I can attest that they FN work!

    Years later I ended up being a Coyote in 29 Palms on the live fire ranges and range 410A and 400 were a lot of fun. Exercise force throwing live grenades, it was always the PVT's and PFC's who had only thrown one in boot and we gave them a quick 3 min brief then turned them loose. And being the controller for SMAW rounds. I would always get peppered by rocks.
     
  12. Jan 2, 2020 at 3:59 PM
    #2692
    JJ Customs

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    Sounds like fun. I got to train with SIM rounds a few times. That was a good time. A hell a lot better than MILES gear. That shit was so gay but normally what we got. Like laser tag that never works.
     
  13. Jan 2, 2020 at 4:00 PM
    #2693
    smartbomb

    smartbomb rcvr/xmtr

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    hell yes breaching. mouse-holes for the win.
    i always got the heeby-jeebies when we had to use those barrel-mounted rebar cutters. i don't even know why, i just never trusted the black magic screwed onto the barrel. i guess maybe because it might come loose

    i remember turning over demo to another unit once, I was a platoon sergeant doing rated time an the RIP platoon sergeant came to sign for it
    I had all of the firing systems on one table, and all of the built charges on another table. they were labelled and had different colors and everything

    and this guy just got done inspecting everything and weighing out charges, and right after he's signed for everything... he starts dumping all of it into a fucking kit bag

    firing systems, ring mains, data sheet, MDI, 1/4-pound blocks, c-charges, copenhagen charges, well over twenty pounds of gear... he just started dumping it all into the same bag.

    if you haven't caught on yet, just read that last sentence again

    we quietly and sternly told him to slowly put everything down. and as soon as he did, we told him to get the fuck out

    "but I signed for everything" we tore up the hand receipt and told him to get the fuck out and send his commander if he wants demo
    his commander did not arrive and he didn't get a scrap of demo. not even a piece of used shock tube

    when he brought it up, we simply told him we would only broach the subject with his commander, never came up again.
     
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  14. Jan 2, 2020 at 4:07 PM
    #2694
    shane100700

    shane100700 Bed, Bath & Beyond Crawler

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    lol. We always had to reinforce that with the Inf. guys. We made a point to do a week long master breachers course once a quarter. It was always a win win. Teach them how to use it properly, build the habitual relationship and reenforce good practices. Got to the point that I had signed qual cards we gave them. Signed off by me and their BN CSM. If they didn’t have their card, the BC and CSM didn’t let them do demo. It also meant that if we were down range it wasn’t engineers or inf were in contact, it was SSG, SFC so and so was in contact. Made supporting each other in combat all that much better.
     
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  15. Jan 2, 2020 at 4:11 PM
    #2695
    smartbomb

    smartbomb rcvr/xmtr

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    holy fuck that's funny. and I can relate to that one too. SMAW and the goose both suck for rocks, the goose is worse if you ask me. 90-degrees exactly or nobody's firing. i never fucked around with that, not even a little

    what is it with bangs and young officers?
    we had an AS3 that came out to a shoot house to "observe training" basically be a hostage/ no-shoot while we worked the house with UTM

    during the range brief we always burned a bang of each type carried, just to show the bad guys and non-combatants in the house what to look out for. basically "these will fuck your life sideways, stay away if you see one"

    and since they were open-air bangs, they're not that loud. and this young captain said as much. basically, "I thought it'd be louder"

    and he got rocked when he took a mini-bang in a short room. straight-up, he pissed himself

    the guy in that sector was just "how did that feel Sir? pretty legit huh?"

    some people don't think physics be like it is sometimes, but it do
     
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  16. Jan 2, 2020 at 4:25 PM
    #2696
    smartbomb

    smartbomb rcvr/xmtr

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    yeah, it wasn't funny then. and it only kinda is now

    so here's more to that story: the adjacent platoon sergeant in-question was rushed out, and we cleared the building
    i was gonna stay back to unfuck the bag, but my weapons squad leader told me no dice... i can't go down. and he was right

    so i stayed nervously outside with this dumbfuck while i explained what was going on, and why he was a dumbfuck, and in painstaking detail how i would fuck him up if i lost my weapons squad leader due to him screwing up something as dumb as mis-packing demo

    if you read my previous story about mush mouth, this was his platoon sergeant
     
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  17. Jan 2, 2020 at 4:39 PM
    #2697
    shane100700

    shane100700 Bed, Bath & Beyond Crawler

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    I have a similar one. I did a master breathers course when I was a PSG. Our guys hadn’t done any night breaching so I planned for that for my actual plt and offered the other PSGs the same. Said I would be OIC, they could rotate through as RSO and just swap those names with range control that way as the OIC we wouldn’t have to shut it down at all. Everything went great until the last platoon sergeant was cleaning up around 2am. He took the misfire kit (uncut M14s so +/- 5 min) cut them down to the first tick mark, thinking that gave him a min. The test burns were consistently 46/sec a foot all day with that lot number. So he went to light it, with a lighter no less. Time fuse was burning on the first branch, he had issues lighting the second line. Then decided to put it in a pop can. It blew the two caps right as he set it down. Peppered his face and legs. Range was obviously shut down for an investigation, army wide M14s, M81s and det cord was declared unsafe army wide for 48 hours. Range was shut down for a month and the post ammo OIC arrived about 5am. They lifted the army wide demo ban when I told them what a dumb ass the PSG was. Dude wasn’t even relieved because loosing three fingers and getting peppered was lesson enough. Luckily his PL gave him a 2/2 on his NCOER. He’s out now and never seen E8 thank god.
     
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  18. Jan 2, 2020 at 4:45 PM
    #2698
    smartbomb

    smartbomb rcvr/xmtr

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    what a dumbass. it's easy if you don't fuck with it the ways you aren't supposed to fuck with it

    and burning for time? no thank you. MDI or transmission or i'm not doing it. i've never burned for time in combat, fuck that noise
     
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  19. Jan 2, 2020 at 4:58 PM
    #2699
    shane100700

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    Maybe it’s old school from when time fuse came on a roll. It’s a sense of pride to keep it within one second of your intended time. I usually did 45 seconds. Two M14s, loop of det, couple fuse igniters. Square knot to connect it quick and easy initiation system. Especially good for Bangalore’s.
     
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  20. Jan 2, 2020 at 5:00 PM
    #2700
    G.T.

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    Even with the time fuse rolls we were taught to not trust it absolutely and to always cut a bit longer.
     
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