Funny military memes, B.S., and shotgun club!

I was in the army in boot camp at Fort Knox 1979. A few days after basic training began 6 of us had the great idea of climbing out the first floor window and sneaking over to the PX for a few beers. I was the last straggler in the group because I decided to buy a bottle of whisky to hide in my locker.
Needless to say when I got back to the barracks my 5 buddies were all lined up outside with the drill sargents and being forced to run at a stationary position. I was able to climb back through the window and get in my bunk unnoticed. The next day I wasn't so lucky. They inspected my locker and found the whisky. I was reamed out royal over that. When they left they forgot the whisky. I put it back in my locker. A few minutes later they came back for it. I was sent to be reprocessed and forced to go through boot camp again. Before it was over I was discharged. I knew I had a problem with drinking and had hoped the army would get me sobered up. In away they did because I did not like being told I was an alcoholic when I was being discharged. I went back home and stayed away from the people I was getting drunk with and sobered up. Looking back I wish I had went in sober and clear headed. Instead I showed up drunk at the welcome center and was in trouble before I got started. You live and you learn.

 

Not true. We always referred to the ship as boat. "Hey man, lets pack it up, gotta get back to the boat", I was on 2 different aircraft carriers (America and Enterprise) and EVERYONE referred to her as the boat.

 

I spent 3 days on the Nimitz (as a wee little E-4 SrA) that were hell. It's apparently against the law to be USAF on a carrier. There was a hallway I needed to keep going down that was "officers only" but I did it anyway because GOD FUCKING FORBID the Navy keep the computers and the crypto in the same goddamned room.

I called it a boat every chance I had because it pissed the officers off.

And your food SUCKED. Everything smelled and tasted like jet fuel and disappointing ASVAB scores.

 

Not sure I understand what point you’re trying to make? It’s not an AA thread, maybe some here have an issue, maybe not. That’s not the intended audience though. All I seen was you kind of went to boot for a few weeks. Sorry if I’m coming off as a dick but I just don’t get your intent.

 

how the hell did you manage that? Or who did you piss off???

 

Considering the time frame and it’s Cpt, probably kept bitching at guys for having their passwords on post it’s.

 

This is highly accurate. The surface guys always got bent out of shape and corrected us air wing guys when we called it a boat. I deployed on the JFK (twice unfortunately), GW, and did some work ups on Indy, Abe, and Enterprise. Did the sea trials on the Truman and I can be seen exiting the Seahawk on the Discovery Channel special they did on it.

 

This is most likely Ellsworth AFB...

 

Did you just fucking call a motherfucking passageway a HALLWAY?!!!??!!?

WITAF!!!!!

 

Passageway? You guys trying to make your boats seem more mysterious? Paintings on the wall that the co can peek through... secret passages... blah blah blah

 

I was there to replace the old command and control system we fought Desert Storm with (CAFMS) with the new one (CTAPS, now TBMCS). Crypto was in a secure room (smart, so the officers can't go "what's this switch do?" and zeroize the day's key) so they only got the computer. Took an hour to set the Sparcstation up and another to do the crypto end-to-end test. After that it was waiting to get to Bahrain.

ALL I WANTED was a trap landing and a cat shot. WHAT I GOT was a C-130 to Diego Garcia (the ugliest women in the military, bar none), a Sea King to the Nimitz (a flying windowless van with no free candy), and I was FORCED to WAIT until we pulled into Bahrain to disembark.

Worst Disney Cruise EVER.

What made it tolerable was the Chiefs were having a fund-raiser for the Chief's fund as you left the BOAT. $1 a beer, and we were all handing over $5 bills. Since Riyadh was dry, I was getting my drink on. Best $5 I ever spent.

 

Yep. Kept calling decks "floors" too. You should have seen some faces when I asked for the elevator! Had one LTJG look at my name patch and ask "what kind of uniform is that?" When I explained I was USAF, his response was "who let a fucking zoomie in here?!?" I laughed at him and kept walking down his hallway.

Still, smoke breaks on the fan tail were decent. Had some good chats with some nice folks (for Navy, you know).

 

Wait till DoD says no more shore leave outside of conus to prevent the “virus.”

 

I was pleasantly surprised that it was one person per stall, though. Thank you, Navy, for letting me crap in relative privacy.

 

What kind of luxury accommodations were you in?