Whatever

Hell...you could sell a rock or rent it for .10 a hour.

 

You can have any color you want, so long as it's a shade of fucking green

 

I'll take it!

 

You don't want to rent this rock. It would make more sense to purchase this wonderful rock, because after 2 hours of renting it you've already bought it. Plus, you can't just go out and find these rocks

 

Maybe some Kentucky "blue" grass.

 

Do them rocks come in a bag?

 

ooo, i forgot to mention too in comes in pre-cut lengths of 500ft. I guess I should've told you that upfront...woops.

Too late. It's already sold out, but I can sell you an even more premium version for $30 a sq/ft that has the capability of being heated or cooled. However this function must also be serviced by a licensed technician every 2 weeks at the cost of 200 an hour and it takes 4 hrs

 

Bag's extra, but if you like i can just send you out with a pallet of them with a bulk price discount which also makes it easier to load/unload assuming you have a forklift

 

But....but....that's not the price the guy on the phone quoted me.

 

Your district manager should promote you to manage one of his/her under preforming pumpkin patches.

 

I just grab the rocks in between the parking spaces.

 

I went to the blue store once and got 30 bags of 80 lb concrete, the guy brings it out and wants to set the pallet on my truck. Fine with me, he then says "there's a $12 core charge on the pallet, you'll have to pay then bring it back". I said no, you can just unload the bags in the truck. He wasn't happy

 

I apologize for the inconvenience sir, but he was looking at the wrong product and forgot that the quoted manufacturer pre cuts these rolls to bulk lengths. Your payment has already been made and you should expect delivery between April 15th and September 20th 2021

 

We've discussed it. My skills are best suited on the front lines

those are just rocks sir. THESE rocks are contractor grade and custom molded to fit into any space and perform all desired landscaping functions

yep. we do that here. but you bet i'll unload all the concrete into your truck to avoid an extra 5 minutes of customer questions

Also using this description from now on

 

Hmm....

Spoiler: Actual Size

 

@PumpkinHo

 

That's a different department sir, and we require pre-sent measurements and a 2 month lead time

Nope. Still very much mentally and emotionally crippled. Also physically: see mailbox

 

When we redid our kitchen we got our countertops through HD, they were cheaper than everywhere else we checked. That was 7 years ago.

 

The price matching there is actually pretty good and they'll usually beat pricing by a certain margin. I don't touch that stuff.