Thought for the day

Grandfather to me about 30yrs ago.

"Mark....when I was your age I had the body of a Greek God.....now I have the body of a goddamn Greek"

 

The proper pitch for most guitars is out the window.

 

So.....I'm guessing two 20 year old's will put a smile on your face plus make your back hurt?

 

Only if the wishful thinking doesn't sprain something else first.

 

Nope. They're too young to know what they're doing

 

Don't eat the rock candy in the urinal, it taste like pee.

 

A wise man buys his lady fine china, because he knows she will never trust him to wash the dishes.

 

Either learn how to fix it or learn to earn enough money to pay someone to fix it, because it’s going to need fixing.

 

If you can’t fix it with a hammer you’ve got an electrical problem.

 

If it doesn't fit, force it. If it breaks, it needed to be replaced anyway.

 

If it has wheels or a skirt, you're gonna have problems with it.

 

A wise man never clicks on a thread titled "Barracuda Restoration."

 

If it flies, fucks or floats - rent it.

 

Don't be a quitter in life...keep drinking, keep smoking, keep doing dr---... wait that can't be right...

 

Next time you lose your keys, just induce a near death experience. That way when your life passes before your eyes you'll see where you left them.

 

Never participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of a hill.

 

Everyone should have at least one hobby that requires a helmet.

 

I cut it three times and it's still too short.

 

Rays Rule of Precision:

Measure with a Micrometer
Mark with Chalk
Cut with an Axe