Cheating wife

my opinion is that if she is doing all that right in front of you its over. with money tight and her seeming to spend the little you have saved it doesn't sound smart to waste more trying to keep things alive

however, thats just my somewhat bitter and jaded opinion

 

Sorry to hear that man, seems like she doesn't want to make the effort to work things up... dang...

 

Yeah. I know. But we have 3 kids, and my parents divorced when I was 3. I refuse to do that to mine.

Not to mention I hate moving. So to pack all my shit and move out the house I worked my ass off to get and avoid losing for the last 2 years while she's been out of work. Not to mention the time, money and effort put into fixing it.

And, quite frankly, I'm not real impressed with the single women in the area so.......

 

Thanks ed! Guess we'll see how the counseling goes tonight. She wants to go out to dinner afterwards as kind of a date like she wants to be with me or start over, but at the same time this morning she told one of her friends she didn't know if (or didn't think) counseling was gonna help. I almost wish I know wtf went through a woman's mind.... Then again, it's probably best that I don't know. It's irritating. We talk at night, seem to make progress, then the next day she's bitching to a friend online about everything we talked about. Or making plans contradictory to what we discussed or she told me. Then she accuses me of taking them out of context when I bring them up.

 

i agree, doing that stuff in front of your significant other shows a complete lack of respect. that right there would be enough for me to end it

i understand the kid thing, but how much longer can you live with and be married to a woman who is cheating on you on a daily basis and doesn't even care? and before you say anything what she is doing does constitute as cheating, even though she is nowhere near the guy physically.

why hasn't she worked? cause of the kids or cause she's lazy?

 

I really feel sorry to hear that after I read your story....., I understand when you have 3 kids, it is hard to seperate, special with all the child support, I hope eveything will be work out for you tonight after the counseling.
But whatever happen tonight, just take it easy.........

 

Oh, I feel like she's cheating. Don't worry about that! And I've told her that flat out. Especially when I pay the cell, internet and home phone bills.... So I'm essentially paying for her to cheat on me. Then she comes back with shit like "he was a friend long before you" or "I'm just trying to help him since he has no friends or family in the area, no job...... blah blah blah" or that I don't have a right to tell her who she can and can't talk to. I respect those reasons, however, since you're married and you fucked him I think those reasons are out the window.

She hasn't worked because she's trying to go to school to do something that doesn't affect her back (2 surgeries). So until that's done only jobs are $7-$8 minimum wage retail/fast food. So by the time gas, taxes, day care for 2 and child support (for the eldest girl not living with us) come out, she wouldn't get more than $50/week I don't think. So right now she's watching 1 extra kid for $100/week under the table. That would be more than enough to get by with my new job, but she blew 3 weeks of that money on the trip. And so we've been trying to come back from being about a grand in the hole from her trip, my last paycheck bouncing, and a couple large bills that had to be paid. So things are tight, but we could get by now without her having a full time job. But she says she doesn't want to rely on me to pay everything (like the last couple years) and wants a job. Hell, it might help for her to get out of the house more, but she's been saying this for 2 weeks and I still haven't seen the app for the gas station! Let alone heard her say she dropped it off.

 

when you're married you DO have a right to regulate each other (to a healthy extent). even if she didnt cheat on you, and her talking to the guy made you uncomfortable she should respect that. sounds like you are getting shit on, and dont take this the wrong way but you are allowing it to happen by enabling her.

 

True, but she's not the type that would react well if I blocked his number on the cell (could if I wanted too, would cost a bit though), blocked it on the home number (free and easy), and locked down her RPG game so it wouldn't let her log in (figured out what IP addresses to block on the DSL modem to prevent the game from contacting the server).

Either way, this weekend she backed off and hasn't talked to him much since the middle of last week. And I guess I don't expect an immediate stop since they've been friends for 10 years. He's 8 years younger, immature, still in college, no job, doesn't like kids, and just isn't relationship material. Might be fun to hang out with or whatever, but nothing long term. Knowing that makes it a little easier, but yeah the constant contact has been bugging me. She is cutting back now though, and I told her last night I appreciated it.

Anyway, I was engaged for 5 yrs once before, and I know how things went down then. The things she did that pushed me away and made me want to leave even more, and so I'm walking a fine line trying to not make the same mistakes.

 

piercedtiger, I wish you all luck. I wish you everything doing well.

 

Good luck bro... Ive been there already in my first marriage we split when our daughter was 3. cought my ex in bed fucking some guy when i got home from work.. Needless to say he left without his clothes on

 

Man that's rough! I guess the irritating part is the mixed signals. Says and kinda acts like she wants to work things out (or at least try), but tells her friends things like "i don't think the counseling will work" or "as I feared, he talked about it for hours afterward" (referring to us discussing the counseling session after we left. hell she even admitted to ME to coming to an understanding). It's like she 2 completely different people between her friends and me.

 

Kinda sounds like she's telling you what you want to hear and telling them how she really feels... Take a break for a while and see what happeneds. Either way it sucks major donkey balls