FS: Feeler- 2013 DCLB- $20k- V.A.

What do you call a South American goat-killing monster with a cold?

Spoiler: Punch Line

Achooopacabra

 

What do you call an ISIS member who owns 6 goats?

Spoiler: Punch Line

A Pimp.

 

What do you get when you put human DNA in a goat?

Spoiler: Punch Line

Arrested and permanently banned from the petting zoo. /SPOILER]

 

A farmer wakes up to discover that his precious Alpine goat had died overnight
A farmer wakes up to discover that his precious Alpine goat had died overnight
Since he loved that goat very deeply, he decided to jump into the river by his house and commit suicide. Soon after, his wife woke up, and discovered his note. She too, followed in his steps and jumped into the river.
Their younger son woke up to find both of his parents dead, and seeing no purpose to live, he too jumped into the river. However, a mermaid hoists him up, and makes him an offer, "If you can make love to me 20 times in a row, I'll resurrect your family. However, if you fail to do that, I'll eat you."

The young boy agrees, and tries his best. However, after the 5th time, he faints and the mermaid eats him. At noon, the older son of the farmer wakes up and finds his family dead. When he walks up to the river and sees his brother's remains, the mermaid again jumps out of the water, and makes him the same offer.

Grinning, he asks the mermaid, "What if you died due to all that sex?"

Surprised by his confidence, the mermaid replies, " You really think you can make love to me 20 times?"
"How else do you think the goat died?"

 

Mrs. Goat : Honey, we're going to have a baby!

Spoiler: Punch Line

Mr. Goat : You're kidding. /SPOILER]

Spoiler: Punch Line

 

I was banging a goat and I asked her if she was into it,

Spoiler: Punch Line

she said: Mehhhh /SPOILER]

 

A goat, a drum, and a snake fell off a cliff..

Spoiler: Punch Line

Baa- dum- ssss /SPOILER]

 

Awww... FFS. I gotta go to bed, I have work in the morning...

 

OK, one more:

Did you hear what happened to the ship that transported live goats?

Spoiler: Punch Line

The goats rebelled and had a muttony /SPOILER]

 

You got me. It’s not really my bike, I’m hittin your aunt.

 

Evidently, he don't care.

 

I don't see any goats

 

Who's the nerd? ^^

 

Did the goats drive? Because we all know your city ass don't know how to drive on anything other than dry asphalt.

 

Why does this guy have a rifle case mounted on his truck?