ASSHOLE PARKING

Haha now this just might work

 

Jesus Christ people, take it to HR and get the fuck out of the way. No asshole is worth losing your job over for trying to be the bigger asshole.

 

My point exactly. I do like the idea of talking to him first. But no way would I let some asshole push me into losing my job in a pissing contest.

 

Actually I’d would’ve just double parked that first day, second day I’d just park somewhere else. I don’t care that much about a parking spot, like he clearly does. Besides if he’s doing passive aggressive shit, I doubt he’s the type to actually stand up to someone. If it really came down to it, I could just park in a handicapped spot. Then if he crowds me there, call it in.

Also- I’m retired so not that concerned about loosing a job.


Sorry cap- not really the type to take anything to HR. Is it the mature and right thing to do? Probably... would I do it? Very doubtful. Ask him his issue. He pushes it, tell him that his bitch ass can have the spot then. Make him the joke rather then give him the win.

 

I hear pieces of porcelain work really well.Take a hammer and smash an old spark plug until pieces of porcelain fall off. You can throw a piece with surprisingly little force at the door windows and watch them turn into a spider web of cracks.
That's what I hear anyways.

I once found a booklet of empty tickets a parking enforcement officer dropped. What a gold mine. I'd write tickets and leave them on the window. Who knows what level of anxiety that would cause the derelict parkers.

 

Did that in HS, does work well. I was also a fucking douche bag as a kid. Needed the army to kick my ass a few times. I know you’re probably joking but I won’t touch someone’s car and it takes them throwing the first swing to make things physical. I’ll call them a dick to their face all day though.

 

Well her plates say twat. she also is 47 yrs old or born in ‘47.
Oh...she has the 47th Twat plate!
2WAT 47

 

I did in high school too but with the purpose of getting into the car for other nefarious reasons. I also wouldn't do it now even though I didn't go to the army. However, I've been tempted more than once by parking A-holes.
I haven't read this whole thread but has anyone considered that the parking violator had to park that way because of some other a****** Parker who left before you got there.

 

We usually take that into account.

 

Thanks for all the suggestions! Even though a couple of them are kinda
I think tomorrow I'll casually pull out my wallet and ask if he needs a soda or some chips or something, it really should be enough.

 

Haha love that wallet make sure he reads it

 

Nope. Guilty until proven innocent.

 

If you read the whole thread you’ll see that it’s a guy he works with and he parks this way on purpose a couple times a week.

 

Frank the Tank concurs:

 

Drop a few STD prevention brochures one morning.

 

I seem to recall someone in this thread leaving a note saying they rubbed their balls on his door handle. That might make him think twice.

 

Jeez...they reopen Panera bread for take out and this is what you get.

 

Perhaps we are of a different time. I had a similar situation. I ask politely for the individual to park a bit further away. He smarted off. Next shift he came out and found a company dump truck on one side, a company skiploader on the other, both about two inches away. It was after graveyards on a Saturday. Come Monday they were moved and he finally was able to move his car. Behaved himself after that.

 

It's a war of attrition. Get there earlier and park like him. Make him go to HR and your problem should be solved.
Definitely WOULD NOT flash that wallet. He'll probably just laugh and say 'sure buy me a bag of chips and a soda. I would.

 

I'm thinking that this is a "The Office" situation where you're Dwayne and he's Jim Halper. You're some very amusing side entertainment for him. You need to up your game man. Definitely don't flash that goofy wallet. That's what Dwayne would do.