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Dad jokes

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by pinktaco808, Jun 30, 2020.

Page 1 of 65
  1. Jun 30, 2020 at 8:26 PM
    #1
    pinktaco808

    #1
    pinktaco808 [OP] Hot Steppa

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    Post it here shoots


    • "Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot."
     
    pinktaco808, Jun 30, 2020
    #1
    99TacoDriver, Crowkiller06, gotoman1969 and 8 others like this.
  2. Jul 1, 2020 at 12:02 PM
    #2
    azreb

    #2
    azreb Geezer

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    TN
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    camper shell, front camera, floor mats, cheap bed mat, dash camera, catalytic converter cover, fumoto
    That's as bad as the one that says no more than 239 beans can be used to make chili.
     
    azreb, Jul 1, 2020
    #2
    wilcam47, Spare Parts, Nopro and 1 other person like this.
  3. Jul 1, 2020 at 2:46 PM
    #3
    jayway

    #3
    jayway Well-Known Member

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    Nevada City CA
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    Just read an interesting fact - Bruce Lee had a vegan brother; Broco Lee
     
    jayway, Jul 1, 2020
    #3
    Oh_deer, Sypherd, SR-71A and 11 others like this.
  4. Jul 1, 2020 at 2:56 PM
    #4
    xaircav

    #4
    xaircav Well-Known Member

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    Bill
    Wheat Ridge, CO
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    TRD intake and cat back exhaust. 3rd gen wheels,32” tires,3rd gen struts/springs and shocks. TRD short throw shifter. ‘18 Pro skid plate.
    A lawyer’s widow and her son visit the cemetery. They find dad’s stone which is engraved “ Here lies John Smith, an honest lawyer and a faithful husband”. The kid asks mom “ Who are the other two guys in the grave with dad?”
     
    xaircav, Jul 1, 2020
    #4
    oldtimertoyota, 21TacoTRDPRO, Casper66 and 14 others like this.
  5. Jul 1, 2020 at 2:58 PM
    #5
    Newlife

    #5
    Newlife Well-Known Member

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    Knoxville TN
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    Bone f’n stock for now
    Why aren’t mountains funny?

    they’re hill areas
     
    Newlife, Jul 1, 2020
    #5
    oldtimertoyota, SR-71A, Casper66 and 5 others like this.
  6. Jul 2, 2020 at 8:17 AM
    #6
    pinktaco808

    #6
    pinktaco808 [OP] Hot Steppa

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    Huh
     
    pinktaco808, Jul 2, 2020
    #6
    21TacoTRDPRO, 2000prerunner23, Nopro and 1 other person like this.
  7. Jul 2, 2020 at 8:20 AM
    #7
    Newlife

    #7
    Newlife Well-Known Member

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    Bone f’n stock for now
    Say it fast
     
    Newlife, Jul 2, 2020
    #7
    21TacoTRDPRO likes this.
  8. Jul 2, 2020 at 8:25 AM
    #8
    tomwil

    #8
    tomwil Well-Known Member

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    Hint: The joke's hilarious.
     
    tomwil, Jul 2, 2020
    #8
    21TacoTRDPRO, imjustabill1970, opentang and 7 others like this.
  9. Jul 2, 2020 at 8:28 AM
    #9
    PinnaclePete

    #9
    PinnaclePete I am what I am

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    Pete
    Central AR
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    SwitchPros 9100, Flip Pac, Stealth 6 Bronze, Toyo 255/80/17, MTO Tailgate Skin, RCI read diff plate, StopTech slotted disc and pads, OME 885 w/ NitroChargers, OME HD LeafPacks, SOS Rear bumper with swingout, BAMF Bolt-on Sliders, Rear diff breather, OEM roof racks, ECG perforated grill, BAMF behind grill light bar bracket with PIAA 510 4" yellow spots, US OffRoad bumper, Engo 9k winch, WeatherTech window vents and floor mats, Wet Okle seat covers, RedLine hood struts, Anti Dark hood lights, Baja amber light pods, Lamin-X amber flood covers, amber FlyEyes, Jumpers amber LEDs, Salix glovebox and center console organizer, MagLite mounted, shop made bed mount tool boxes, LogRite bed mount bottle opener
    Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?



    Great food, no atmosphere!
     
    PinnaclePete, Jul 2, 2020
    #9
    oldtimertoyota, ohcaltexscar, grdgz97 and 9 others like this.
  10. Jul 2, 2020 at 8:31 AM
    #10
    wrightme43

    #10
    wrightme43 Well-Known Member

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    Steve
    Scottsville Kentucky
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    Redline custom leather shift and e-brake boot. VFTUNE Super Full Otto cycle, octane learning, premium fuel.
    You see this ceiling right here!

    Now I am not saying it is the best ceiling, but it is certainly up there.
     
    wrightme43, Jul 2, 2020
    #10
    SR-71A, ohcaltexscar, grdgz97 and 7 others like this.
  11. Jul 2, 2020 at 8:37 AM
    #11
    PinnaclePete

    #11
    PinnaclePete I am what I am

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    Pete
    Central AR
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    '14 Sport DCLB Pyrite, 2015 DCSB Barcelona Limited
    SwitchPros 9100, Flip Pac, Stealth 6 Bronze, Toyo 255/80/17, MTO Tailgate Skin, RCI read diff plate, StopTech slotted disc and pads, OME 885 w/ NitroChargers, OME HD LeafPacks, SOS Rear bumper with swingout, BAMF Bolt-on Sliders, Rear diff breather, OEM roof racks, ECG perforated grill, BAMF behind grill light bar bracket with PIAA 510 4" yellow spots, US OffRoad bumper, Engo 9k winch, WeatherTech window vents and floor mats, Wet Okle seat covers, RedLine hood struts, Anti Dark hood lights, Baja amber light pods, Lamin-X amber flood covers, amber FlyEyes, Jumpers amber LEDs, Salix glovebox and center console organizer, MagLite mounted, shop made bed mount tool boxes, LogRite bed mount bottle opener
    One of my favorite memories as a kid was when my brothers used to put me inside a tire and roll me down a hill.





    They were Goodyears!
     
    PinnaclePete, Jul 2, 2020
    #11
    oldtimertoyota, Mr. Excitement, Casper66 and 6 others like this.
  12. Jul 2, 2020 at 8:38 AM
    #12
    JimboAnz

    #12
    JimboAnz #OldNorm

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    Jimbo
    Charlotte (Cornelius) NC
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    2020 Ford F'in Ranger
    My Dad used to use that one all the time :rofl:
     
    JimboAnz, Jul 2, 2020
    #12
    Nopro likes this.
  13. Jul 2, 2020 at 8:43 AM
    #13
    DWD484

    #13
    DWD484 Could Be Joking

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    Dave
    Louisiana
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    Super White
    How does an Eskimo build a house?

    Igloo's it together.
     
    DWD484, Jul 2, 2020
    #13
    Squirt, Steves104x4 and Nopro like this.
  14. Jul 2, 2020 at 8:47 AM
    #14
    DWD484

    #14
    DWD484 Could Be Joking

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    Super White
    What do you call someone with no body and no nose?

    Nobody knows.
     
    DWD484, Jul 2, 2020
    #14
    oldtimertoyota, Squirt, wilcam47 and 3 others like this.
  15. Jul 2, 2020 at 8:49 AM
    #15
    SocalTaco15

    #15
    SocalTaco15 Well-Known Member

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    Socal, Orange County
    Why did the cop clean the bathroom?

    Because it was his duty.
     
    SocalTaco15, Jul 2, 2020
    #15
    DPTacomaGuy, Spare Parts and Nopro like this.
  16. Jul 2, 2020 at 8:52 AM
    #16
    TheFang

    #16
    TheFang No Big Deal

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    Why do scuba divers fall backwards out of the boat?


    Cause if they fell forward they would still be in the boat.
     
    TheFang, Jul 2, 2020
    #16
    oldtimertoyota, SR-71A, ohcaltexscar and 11 others like this.
  17. Jul 2, 2020 at 10:55 AM
    #17
    Newlife

    #17
    Newlife Well-Known Member

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    Adam
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    Bone f’n stock for now
    A truck carrying a load of Worcestershire sauce crashes

    dispatcher: what’s the situation

    deputy: it’s hard to pronounce.


    :rimshot:
     
    Newlife, Jul 2, 2020
    #17
    Zuba Gooding Jr, ohcaltexscar, Squirt and 5 others like this.
  18. Jul 2, 2020 at 11:09 AM
    #18
    CJREX

    #18
    CJREX Well-Known Member

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    Georgia
    What do you call a guy in the pool with no arms or legs? Bob

    What do you call a dog in the pool with no legs? Bob Barker
     
    CJREX, Jul 2, 2020
    #18
    oldtimertoyota, ohcaltexscar, wilcam47 and 2 others like this.
  19. Jul 2, 2020 at 11:38 AM
    #19
    MikeyMcFly

    #19
    MikeyMcFly This is heavy, Doc.

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    I'm a Masshole
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    2016 TRD Off-Road 6MT / 1999 Corvette 6MT
    Building a Broja
    To be frank I'd have to change my name.
     
    MikeyMcFly, Jul 2, 2020
    #19
    oldtimertoyota, ohcaltexscar, wilcam47 and 3 others like this.
  20. Jul 2, 2020 at 5:20 PM
    #20
    Snowman

    #20
    Snowman I have a problem for your solution…

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    Craig
    Somewhere in Canada
    Vehicle:
    Check out my build
    What do you call a lady with no arms or legs against a tree? Eileen.
     
    Snowman, Jul 2, 2020
    #20
    Squirt, Spare Parts and Nopro like this.
Page 1 of 65

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