Ontario BS Thread

Are you sticking around the area?

 

Yep,
Bought a house out in Palmerston and ill still be working in waterloo

 

Customs stories...

Sorry a long one but... This was a multi-layer burn that fell into my lap.

Background,
I'm an Engineer returning from a meeting is the USA and have one of my Technicians with me.
Tech is late 20's recently married, virgin 'till he was married.
Never been to a strip club, rode a dirt bike, shot a gun, run down the street drunk and naked.
You know the Mr. Rogers type...

I stop at a Target Store on the way back (Like Walmart).
As we're walking through the sporting goods section I see that they have an extensive firearms section...
Stroll over to the counter and talk to the clerk and ask to take a look at this fancy semi-Auto Assault shotgun...
As I'm checking down the barrel and racking it and talking to the clerk I notice my Tech seems a little nervous...
Me: "You Ok?"

Tech" "Yeah, but what are you looking at that thing for,
we still have to go across the boarder to get home,
you can't bring that with us"

Me: "Why not? It will fit in the trunk no problem,
and this nice gentleman here said he would include a soft gun case with it too for free!"
(Don't tell him I have various licenses for firearms)

Tech:"But what if they check us?"

(I notice he has this worried look on his face,
now I could be the nice responsible person and explain that I have permits and it would be a matter of filling out paperwork at the border,
or I could have it mailed to me.... but ...
well I always like to have some fun...)

Me:"Well I'll just say it's yours"
(kept a straight face and went back to talking with the clerk)

Tech: (sarcastic) "Har Har, I'll go wait in the car"

I ended up buying a semi-automatic trap thrower and a box of 1000 clay targets...
And wouldn't you know... comes in a long box just like a big gun would,
and then a couple other boxes one has the 1000# all over it.

So I come out and bang real load on the trunk
(signaling him to pop the trunk but also making him jump as he was quietly listening to music in the car)

All he sees is these boxes being loaded and then the clay target box's is nice in heavy.

I get in the driver's seat
Tech:"You didn't buy that did you? What else did you buy?"

Me: " Oh I got a great deal!
Less than 1/3 the price you'd pay for it in Canada!
Plus I got all this ammunition for it too!
Case of 1000 rounds actually!
Ok, lets go"

Change stereo from his light jazz shit,
to heavy metal and off we go.

Long drive to the boarder,
and I've forgotten all about the little bit of tormenting I've given my Tech.

As are pulling up to the Customs booth, I notice the agent is pulling out the pink card. ...

Hmmm that is the first time I've seen a pink card before we've even pulled in to declare anything....
As I'm pulling upto the booth I look at the Tech,
and he's got both hands on the dash,
and he's just staring straight ahead,
like he's got 10 pounds of Coke up his ass.

I'm trying not to just burst out laughing as I answer I'm Canadian and Yes I have a couple hundred in goods to declare...
We go over to secondary and I go inside to pay my duties....

Me: "Declaring a trap thrower and 1000 clay targets for couple hundred $$"
Boarder Agent: "Ok, receipts please, What's wrong with your friend there?"

I look out the window and see him standing outside the car on the sidewalk area with his arms wrapped around himself and he's jumping straight up and down, maybe because it's a bit cold outside but in no way does it look normal.
Guilty AF.

I kept a straight face, turned back to the Boarder guard looked him in the eye and said;

"You're going to think I'm an evil man,
but I bet you'll be telling this story in the break room later"

and proceeded to fill him in,

The look in his eye,
with that twinkle,
slight twitch of a smirk
I knew I had piqued the interest of a fellow psychological sadist.,,

Boarder Agent: "Come with me, we'll have to inspect your vehicle", with a BIG grin.

Open trunk, we talk about how neat this trap thrower is then he says;

" Ok, you stand 2 feet over there, don't smile look towards the ground"

He leans out from behind the trunk lid looks directly at the Tech,
with a frown,
and curls his finger with the"come hither to your doom" motion...
Then he looks down into the trunk....

Tech is white as a ghost, looked like a rabbit in the headlights and he shuffles over.

Boarder Agent: "Do You have anything to declare Sir?" Steel gaze at the Tech.

Tech Squeaks out "No, I went in a store but I didn't buy anything and I just walked out"

Boarder Agent: "Are you Sure?"

Tech looks at me,
I thought his bladder was gonna go bang.
It took years of training to not burst out laughing and keep a poker face.

Tech: "I swear to God Sir"

Boarder Agent looking at me: "Your right this is a story for the back room, have a good evening".

The look on the Tech's face had the Boarder Agent laughing all the way back.

The Tech only said one sentence during the rest of the 4 hours of driving home.

"I am never traveling with your ever again"

 

Like 13%?

 

share and repost, yes

 

all switched out to Phillips LEDS

 

Just ordered this monstrosity: https://www.aliexpress.com/item/32844083327.html



Looks to be a twin compressor version of the Smittybilt 2781. Max 90A current draw but performs faster than the ARB twin in testing by Australians. It's sold under a variety of brand names and color schemes depending on country, but none of Aussie- or US sites ship to Canada
https://www.4wdsupacentre.com.au/thumper-max-dual-air-compressor.html
https://summit-offroad.com/products/summit-dual-air-compressor

 

Can test it against the twin arb in ardbeg if you get it by then.

 

Ha! It'll ship from China. Might be off the boat in time for the Ardbeg fall run.

 

Wil it have to be mounted upside down to reach peak performance?

 

they finally came in ICONS add a leaf

 

Lol only one way to find out.

 

That's how it's mounted in the Wranglers. Coincidence? https://www.grimmoffroad.com/10013-2018-2020-jeep-arb-twin-compressor-mounting-bracket-kit.html



The kit even comes with a Tie-fighter heat shield.

 

@Shveet stop looking at vehicles with weak-sauce minivan engines

Overtaking was dangerous in the 3.8L Wrangler. I almost crashed head-on into an 18-wheeler in Wyoming driving one as a rental:

 

figured to try one :^)
it was mall crawled but it seems to have decent parts on it



underside looks mint too!




But yes, tiny 3.8L didn't come with ARB twin compressors so i couldn't give you a heads up about how its mounted


but in-regards of the near head-on collision. I'm surprised a 18 wheeler got onto those dunes!

 

It was during the 4-hour drive enroute to the dunes. Fortunately the 18-wheeler pulled onto the shoulder for me to get through...

The Jeep with open diffs and highway tires got stuck in the dunes fairly quick.

 

but geeze, well it was fortunate that nothing horrible happened. Jeeps are most certainly not known for their crash ratings either

 

Exciting things happening!

Well, they were till this grinder started smoking (it was on the way anyways) we shall continue tomorrow with a new one!

Can I drive with only one shock? About to find it out!

 

if you 4 linked it, you probably could

 

Are you daring me? I don't like this